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Random in my feels

I remember a time when at any given time of any given day I could call or text 10-15 different people and be out the door to go out and do something. But then I didn’t have a job, I enjoyed the party life, I wasn’t no where near who I am today. I’m slowly changing I started seeking God again and trying to find my place in the religious world. I’m more career driven than I have ever been before. I go to college full time now. I work well over full time close to 80 hours a week. What can I say, I love my job lol not that much most of my overtime is mandated. The life of a correctional officer. Lol. I’ve lost most of my friends because I’ve changed I’m not into the same things I once was. A lot of people don’t like my job because I’m considered law enforcement now. My life style has changed so much over the past couple years. Now I don’t have any body I can call or text at any time. My 2 days off are spent at home alone with Netflix. Lol. Idk. Being bored at home on my day off got me thinking and all up in my feelings. Idk why I felt the need to post it on here but I did.
Now is your chance to choose to develop a VERY personal relationship between you and Yeshua. Having all the layers stripped away--as it were--and 2 days at home--alone, with what seems nothing else to do--is Papa's invitation to "Come, Learn of Me. Dance with Me. Come face-to-face with Me." You've already said you're in a place in your life you've never been before. That can produce all sorts of feelings in us ladies--abandonment, rejection, loneliness, depression, resignation--all very real feelings and emotions; however all very negative that take you nowhere but DOWN! It is a choice only you can make for yourself to scooch up close to Papa, find yourself able to rest in the arms of Yeshua, and quiet the clamor and chatter that goes on in your brain surrounding all the negatives and begin to listen to the sweet still voice of the Holy Spirit whom I call "Sarayu" which is an Eastern Indian name for the Holy Spirit. Just as with anything, you must begin with baby steps, but if you desire this relationship, you must choose to begin. As you grow in this relationship with Yeshua, the time at home alone on the 2 days will become something you begin to desire, to look forward to, and no longer dread. Watch Papa add back in amazing relationship opportunities along the way because of where you've grown in your relationship with Them!

Don't forget that you are in control of the atmosphere that's allowed to exist inside your "four walls" at home every time you step inside the door and close it to the world. Find music that speaks to your soul, uplifts you, soothes you, challenges you beyond where you are, and edifies you as a daughter of the most high King! I don't even turn the tv on--too much garbage, drama, and twisted agendas. However, I do choose what I will watch on netflix, or dvd, or vhs. I also choose what I will listen to on CD. So rejoice greatly that you DO have choices you can make and that our Papa delights in giving us choices! Blessings to you, my sister!
 
I agree @Verifyveritas76 it would also make a lot of people think before committing the crime. The crime rates would drop but then the money would stop coming to the prisons. Like someone said earlier it’s about money it really is.


@rejoicinghandmaid i really do need to buckle down and start on a better relationship with Jesus. But to be honest I don’t understand have the stuff in the Bible so when I read it it confuses me and I stop reading it. Prayer I never know what to say so i basically have a conversation like I would with any one for the most part. Lol.


@JimandMary county jail is probably worse than prison. They deal with detoxing people and people who just found out that there going to prison. Once they come to us they are typically detoxed and the reality of prison has set in. So we get to deal with the fights the new guys want to fight and make a name for there selves but usually get beat up pretty good by someone who wasn’t a top dog. Top dogs are usually older cats who don’t don’t get into trouble.
 
I really do need to buckle down and start on a better relationship with Jesus. But to be honest I don’t understand have the stuff in the Bible so when I read it it confuses me and I stop reading it. Prayer I never know what to say so i basically have a conversation like I would with any one for the most part. Lol.

.

Your Father wants more than anything for you to have a genuine loving real relationship with Him. Do that and He will do the rest.

Your on the right track.
 
While many people different views of the son of God I think a simplistic approach is best. When you go to study his life just remember that what he said during his somesay 3 year mission is actually very limited. You could simply get a words in red bible where what he speaks is outlined in red and just skim through and read what he actually said while periodically checking the surrounding context.

I always advise readers to keep in mind that he was not always the quiet kind pushover presented by modern christiandom. He was not a Christian. He was a Jew. There is no record of him ever handling money that was in the form of a graven image or money period. Even when asking to be shown a coin about tribute it never says he held it. He was not a materialistic person and he did not have a great deal of like of the people who ran the churches/ synagogues of the time. Lastly remember that Paul was not the son of God he may have been a good preacher but he was not The Christ. Only the son of God can save you.
 
I’m all for capital punishment...

The problem with this is we have a imperfect justice system. A very imperfect justice system. Most convictions today are obtained by plea bargain, without the protections of a trial, because it is simply too expensive and complex for normal people to obtain justice. Even with a trial, prosecutors are often found to have suppressed evidence that proved the accused was innocent. Case in point, the primary use of DNA evidence (available at the time of trial!) is to free men falsely convicted of rape, sometimes after they have sat in prison for decades.

I prefer a system where we can make amends for false convictions. Freeing them from prison and giving them a sack of money doesn't restore the lost years, but I know of no way to compensate a man who has been executed but later exonerated.
 
The problem with this is we have a imperfect justice system. A very imperfect justice system. Most convictions today are obtained by plea bargain, without the protections of a trial, because it is simply too expensive and complex for normal people to obtain justice. Even with a trial, prosecutors are often found to have suppressed evidence that proved the accused was innocent. Case in point, the primary use of DNA evidence (available at the time of trial!) is to free men falsely convicted of rape, sometimes after they have sat in prison for decades.

I prefer a system where we can make amends for false convictions. Freeing them from prison and giving them a sack of money doesn't restore the lost years, but I know of no way to compensate a man who has been executed but later exonerated.
I understand the point about this imperfect system, and how capital punishment us not something we can reverse, and appreciate big time the acknowledgment that the lost time someone spent incarcerated cannot be given back either.
I read a book called Bible Law vs the US Constitution by Ted Weiland and heard enough of the book my hubby read 'Convicting the Innocent' to see the stark contrast between what we now have, and the perfection of YHWH's law.
This system is part of Mystery Babylon, and yes DixiePrincess, it is all about the money.
When we do things the right way there is no "law enforcement GROWTH industry" because the correct punishment corrects the behavior, or as vv76 pointed out, at least eliminates the perpetrator's opportunities to practice his lawlessness on the Innocent. It is (in my opinion) only the vanity of man, and the mystery of iniquity (lawlessness) that make the masses think that we could ever improve on the perfect prescription for criminal justice given to us by the designer of mankind.

P.S. Those books I mentioned are highly recommended and the one by Ted Weiland can be read online for free.
 
The problem with this is we have a imperfect justice system. A very imperfect justice system. Most convictions today are obtained by plea bargain, without the protections of a trial, because it is simply too expensive and complex for normal people to obtain justice. Even with a trial, prosecutors are often found to have suppressed evidence that proved the accused was innocent. Case in point, the primary use of DNA evidence (available at the time of trial!) is to free men falsely convicted of rape, sometimes after they have sat in prison for decades.

I prefer a system where we can make amends for false convictions. Freeing them from prison and giving them a sack of money doesn't restore the lost years, but I know of no way to compensate a man who has been executed but later exonerated.

Not to derail this thread, I do agree with much of what you said. My disagreement would be that there’s a way to fix all of those problems and the structure is within the Mosaic law. An unjust prosecutor that withheld evidence for a conviction would face the same sentencing as the one he unjustly convicted pre or post mortem. If the defendant died, so does the prosecutor, if the defendant got jail time or servitude, the prosecutor got 4 times that sentence for theft of time/life. What would be sweeter than having a prosecutor having to be servant to the man that he got intentionally unjustly convicted for 4 times the original sentence? I’d take that over money any day.

IMO, to fail to exercise judgement on a perp because one day you just might accidentally get the wrong guy is still a failure to exercise judgement which becomes a communal crime and Biblical indictment rather than an individual crime. Also under the Mosaic structure the guilty/innocent verdict was pronounced by the assembly. Mercy or death was determined by the victim up to the extent or limit of the offense. The verdict and sentence was only moderated by the judges to ensure the protections and rights of each were enforced and that the witnesses were held accountable for the truth of their statements.

To fail to exact judgment will result in the blood of innocents fouling the land and crying out to God. Biblically, the only way to avert the Divine cleansing of innocent blood is capital punishment.

Edit. Or repentance on a national scale
 
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I agree @Verifyveritas76 it would also make a lot of people think before committing the crime. The crime rates would drop but then the money would stop coming to the prisons. Like someone said earlier it’s about money it really is.


@rejoicinghandmaid i really do need to buckle down and start on a better relationship with Jesus. But to be honest I don’t understand have the stuff in the Bible so when I read it it confuses me and I stop reading it. Prayer I never know what to say so i basically have a conversation like I would with any one for the most part. Lol.


@JimandMary county jail is probably worse than prison. They deal with detoxing people and people who just found out that there going to prison. Once they come to us they are typically detoxed and the reality of prison has set in. So we get to deal with the fights the new guys want to fight and make a name for there selves but usually get beat up pretty good by someone who wasn’t a top dog. Top dogs are usually older cats who don’t don’t get into trouble.
@dixieprincess -- I'm listening very carefully to what you're sharing about your time in the Word and also prayer. What "the church" calls prayer and what it's supposed to be or look like are two totally different things--you need to know this. I have no idea what the Hebrew word is for prayer, nor the root of it in Hebrew. The Hebrew scholars on this forum could help us out if they would, please! But the real act of prayer with Yeshua can take many forms, has no boundaries, or format. At any level of prayer it is simply an honest to goodness conversation with your Yeshua who loves you so much more than an human being on the face of planet earth could ever think of loving you! He's not sitting in judgment of you because you've already been forgiven, accepted and adopted into His family. You are His daughter, a child of the King. We are encouraged to approach Him boldly, with no fear. Our total understanding of how truely great the Creator of this marvelous universe is automatically produces a respect and reverence for Him, and it humbles us that HE would even consider taking time to listen to us, much less love us, nurture us with that love, and bring us along on His path. Did you bite the dust in some way today?--don't we all, and He knows that we are but dust, our frame IS weak--but OH how He loves us and desires OUR fellowship with Him so He can dust us off, wipe the tears, set us back up on our feet, and gently holding our right hand with His right hand, encourage us to try again. He says, "I'm right here with you, you're not in this alone. TRUST me! for I have proven that I'm worthy of your TRUST!" There's nothing to small or too big or anything in between that you can not talk about with Yeshua or Papa or Sarayu!

Prayer can be gut wrenching, especially when you're pouring your heart out about how you are feeling and no one else understands, crying buckets of tears and going through a box of kleenex. But They are there. You will come to sense and feel Their presence, Their unconditional love, Their strength, the joy that comes from emptying the load upon their shoulders--"casting all your care upon Him for He careth for you."

Prayer can be exhausting as you find yourself entering into the inner sanctum in intercession for a particular need of a brother or sister in desperate need. You will be doing battle--real battle against the forces of spiritual warfare in Jesus' name--please, not in your own or in your own strength. Yeshua must be your shield and high tower, your bulwark.

Prayer can also be as simple as, "What should I wear today, my Lord?' "Which route should I take driving to work today?" "Do you want me to buy this?" Prayer is all of this and so much more. It is a constant flow of communication throughout your day with your Yeshua--"pray without ceasing". In my line of work and ministry I encounter wide spectrums of situations, human beings, and challenges. As I'm talking with another soul, I'm IMing (instant messaging) with Yeshua throughtout the entire dialogue. I'm very present in our conversation as I speak with the person, looking them in the eye and hanging on every word they say--or trying to, but I'm also listening very intently to what Sarayu may be saying to me that I need to share with that person. Yes, I'm very experience in many avenues being a teacher of 39 years, and my experience does carry weight, but that person more importantly needs to know what Yeshua is giving me for them. As your prayer life develops and expands in your personal walk, you will find the utter joy and blessing of simply being the conduit through which Yeshua can flow to another person. I may not always understand why I'm being told to share something, but I've learned to TRUST what Yeshua is telling me, learned the value of freely giving out what He's giving me and not play god by deciding they don't need that because in my humanness I don't see how it fits. After an encounter where I've seen God do mighty and amazing things because I made myself available as the conduit, I am at peace with myself and Him because "I kept nothing back" as Paul said.

I mentioned in my first post to you that you must decide that you want this and you must decide to begin and you must begin with baby steps. Papa will take you as far as you want to go and draw you in as close to His heart as you want to be! He lets you start right where you are today. You don't have to do anything to get ready to embark on this most wonderful of all journeys a human can ever experience. All you have to do is want to start and begin!

In your Bible reading, get off the hampster wheel of what everyone else in "the church" is telling you is the right way and the wrong way "to be spiritual" because you're reading your Bible. A good place to start SOAKING in the Word is to pick a verse with which you are already familiar and meditate upon it. Maybe John 3:16 or something else you've heard all your life. ASK the Lord to show you everything He wants you to know and understand about that verse. How can you apply it to your daily life? Start where you are--and there's NO wrong place to be! You decide--it's your God-given choice and rejoice that you have the choice to make! The blessing and promise comes in the meditating--Read Psalm 1 and Joshua 1:8. The word for "meditation, meditating" comes from the same root used for the chewing of the cud which cows do. They grab a mouthful (whatever their mouthful looks like), chew it, swallow it, then burp it back up and chew some more, then swallow, and repeat that process until the food is completely digested and available to their body's system. Reading a lot of Scripture at a time is not necessarily a good idea--there's NO time for assimulation, meditation, digestion. It would be wonderful if you'd consider starting a journal that allows you to record what Papa's giving you as you begin this journey of seeking Him Face-to-Face. Over the course of a week or months, you WILL begin to sense growth in your understanding of His Word, as well as, your closeness with Him, and your time in prayer. Don't set yourself up for failure by putting expections on where you think you will be or should be by a certain time frame. Don't do that to yourself. Your Papa and Yeshua certainly aren't doing that to you--they don't function in our sense of time! They DO so desire your relationship and fellowship more than anything else in this world.

@dixieprincess, I truly hope we will be able to stay connected on this forum. You are soooo loved and a precious daughter in God's eyes. Begin to see yourself that way. You are among real friends on this forum. These brothers and sisters are real because they're in the fire, have come through the fire, or are heading into a fire. Let them love on you. I'm so glad you've connected. Blessings to you today on this Labor Day weekend. Till later. I'll be praying for you as Yeshua brings you to my heart.
 
To fail to exact judgment will result in the blood of innocents fouling the land and crying out to God. Biblically, the only way to avert the Divine cleansing of innocent blood is capital punishment.
Christ did repeat the law in:
Matthew 15:4 For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.
paul said in romans 6:23 the wages of sin are death.
So i would have to agree about capital punishment It is necessary to keep a land from becoming absolutely wicked.
biblical law also gives heavy incentives to keep people from doing this to innocents, As well as those who bear false witness.
 
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