Meat Sexual Duties & Children

[Mojo]

36 24 36? Yeah, only if she's 5'3"

Prophet Mixalot

Don't forget the Commodores and the BRICK HOUSE!

 

[Foxlily]

Lol

Women are not visually stimulated.

Yes they are. I'm rather fond of the rough burly lumberjack type. Must include beard heheheh

 

[Well loved wife]

Women are not visually stimulated.

I’m sorry, but that’s not true for every woman. Not sure where you got that idea. You realize there’s porn and magazines for women? We have the basic need to see our husband in his birthday suit. We know how to undress our burly men with our eyes...anyway.

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

Haha one more thing, verse 22= not emboldened.

Correction: verse 20.

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

Hey friend, thank you for being so open and honest. You are wonderful.

I'm actually not going to try to touch the word 'attractive' or anything maintaining attractiveness because I don't know of a case where it's applied in scripture.. so I'm going to just keep on plowing this row with the scripture I do have.

The focus for me is that he can't claim to be dissatisfied. Because he is told to be satisfied. And satisfy (H7301) means:
Strong’s Definitions
רָוָה râvâh, raw-vaw'; a primitive root; to slake the thirst (occasionally of other appetites):—bathe, make drunk, (take the) fill, satiate, (abundantly) satisfy, soak, water (abundantly)


And you said you knew from experience that women in your shoes can have great sex lives, so their husband is obviously not dissatisfied. So I don't think this applies to you, you are both satisfied! Yay!

I just don't like the idea that this command the man is given is solely dependant on the physical attributes his wife can bring to the table.

We can always do things to being more pleasing to our spouse but his satisfaction is not to be swayed.

It is NOT a COMMAND any more than I Cor 7:2 is a command to get married!!! This is the ONLY verse of Scripture I am aware of that says anything of the sort, and you are trying to make a command out of a recommendation!

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

I’m just saying, I know women who married studs that ended up grossly overweight. If attractiveness is an essential ingredient for determining when to get another spouse . . . . .

Malachi 2:14-16
Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

This is a passage describing basically the same scenario you posted Daniel. Guy wants a new wife (for whatever reason) but in bringing the new one in he puts the first wife out to pasture. This is labeled as treachery. And is covenant breaking per Exodus 21:10. Some would say the treachery was in bringing a new wife into covenant that served a pagan God. That was both treachery and abomination but against God. The putting away (without cause) is treachery against the wife of youth.

I NEVER said ANYTHING about putting away the first wife!

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

Which involves

Exodus 21:10
If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights.

I never said anything about depriving the first wife. Look! This is about having standards of expectations; not whether the husband will engage in sexual relations with his wife!

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

Something else to think about is that Christ (as the perfect husband) said, I’ll never leave thee nor forsake thee. That doesnt leave us very much wiggle room with our wives. Which basically means if you took a woman under your covering, that means she’s your project . . . . Indefinitely. If she rebels and leaves, or if she commits adultery, those are your only two outs.

If she leaves because you aren’t performing your marital duties, um . . . .that ones on you, not her.

I never said anything about not performing your marital duties. This is more about whether the husband will actually ENJOY performing those duties, or whether it will be a chore for him to do so.

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

A worthy question. Clearly physical agility is associated with deer in Scripture. Also compelling is the principle of first mention:

"Naphtali is a doe let loose, he gives beautiful words"

I would always caution against using any supposed "Law of first mention".

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

Lol

Yes they are. I'm rather fond of the rough burly lumberjack type. Must include beard heheheh

Not nearly to the degree that men are.

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

I’m sorry, but that’s not true for every woman. Not sure where you got that idea. You realize there’s porn and magazines for women? We have the basic need to see our husband in his birthday suit. We know how to undress our burly men with our eyes...anyway.

The big money in the porn industry is heavily skewed in the direction of luring men in. That is an undeniable fact.

 

[Well loved wife]

@RainyLondonFog your point about husbands being satisfied with their wife got me thinking about balance. In the beginning God told women that our desire shall be to thy husband.
In the NT women submit, husbands are to love. Just saying there’s an interesting balance there not trying to hash anything out.

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

They are by the strength of a man.

I have learned to be careful with hard stances on things like these that are being discussed God has a way of putting people through things just to prove what He can do though the suffering.

OK, so I am not sure where you are going with this question. If a husband has lost his strength and virility, should his wife still enjoy sex with him? I suppose if it is not enjoyable, so be it. That's life! If he never gets his strength back, she is still to remain with him. If that means that she won't enjoy the sex, that's just something she has to deal with, until death of either him or her, and if it is him, until she remarries, if she chooses to do so. There is an elderly widow in our church, that I often give hugs to, and she is always thankful for those hugs and tells me how much she needed that hug. I would marry her, if that is what it would take to get my wife to let go of monogamy, and I would perform marital duties for her as well, but age has taken its toll on her, and I would have to close my eyes and imagine that I am with someone else, in order to do what a man is supposed to do when he engages in marital activity, because there would really be nothing visually stimulating for me to take in. That's just how it is! I wouldn't blame her for it, because she didn't do that to herself, whereas when a woman let's herself go, that is an ENTIRELY different matter altogether!

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

My wife had a coworker she was really good friends with, because she had a son the same age as our older son. She had gotten on birth control and ballooned up. She told my wife that her husband told her that he didn't care how big she got. My wife used to throw that in my face, until it was discovered that her husband had a side-chick. That marriage didn't last.

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

So, I’ve been debating whether to butt in all day.
I’m coming out as one of those women who let herself go. It’s embarrassing, but apparently all-too-common.
With that said, I’ll ALSO admit that my husband is one of the most honest humans and when I asked him a few years ago... he told me that he doesn’t find aspects of my body attractive anymore.
I’m just going to say... I don’t blame him. I don’t find my body attractive anymore. I can blame all kinds of factors but after all is said and done; I’m to blame. I made poor choices.
And you know what? Having a sister wife that is scary attractive has been quite the difficultly for me.
BUT, in reading these posts, I think what it comes down to is this:
When a wife lets herself go it’s not the husband’s fault that he isn’t attracted to her anymore. He married the woman he was attracted to. So, the onus is on her to fix it. Be the best she can be. Not a supermodel, not defying age or gravity, just be the best you can. And from there, if the husband has a difficult time being aroused (because that’s attraction); do other things that will arouse him. It may take more work.

The husband in this situation is still required to love his wife. Love and attraction are two VERY distinct things. I can tell you, beyond a doubt that my husband loves me. He says he doesn’t even love me less because of my body. Again, that’s attraction. Totally different thing.
Should a husband still have sex with his wife in that situation? Absolutely! He should give it all he has and not just give up!
From experience, I can tell you that two people can still have a good sex life when this is the case. 100%!!!
A husband should still value that wife. Love her, provide for her in all ways. But, is he required to be ATTRACTED to her? I don’t think so.

Someone posted about a man who finds 300lb women attractive. Would that man still be as attracted to her if she decided to lose 100lbs? Probably not. But, if he married her at 300lbs, THAT’S what he found attractive.

As long as women aren’t expected to remain youthful forever, I think it’s fair that they attempt to maintain what their husband’s married as much as possible. And there should be some grace there.
Had a bunch of kids? Well, yeah, she may have some stretch marks! Her body will just not be the same (thank you, twin girls!) That’s not what I’m talking about.
Some things cannot be helped.
But, I gained a lot of weight. It’s understandable that my husband doesn’t look at me the same way as he did when I was 120lbs. It’s just the way it works.

It doesn’t excuse the man who decides to give up and just get a new wife because the other one doesn’t do it for him anymore. Or, you know porn or beer-goggles.
Also, an argument can be made that if a husband is REALLY in control, he can decide which foods are in the house...

I just read this to @Isaac. He says ultimately it’s his fault that I gained weight by allowing me to gain weight and not leading by example.

I highly recommend phentermine.

Edit: I also admire @Isaac 's willingness to take personal responsibility for not leading.

 

[RainyLondonFog]

It is NOT a COMMAND any more than I Cor 7:2 is a command to get married!!!

Cor2:7:
But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.
1 Corinthians 7:2 NIV

I'm really not sure where you are going with this. You're going to have to make your points a little clearer instead of assuming I'm psychic and can see what rabbit hole you're going down. From what I can see in this verse, Paul saying stuff that sexual immorality was occuring, so therefore men stick to your own wife (which I'm going to assume is in a the plural sense. I'm not anti poly) and wives to your husband. Great, he still needs to be satisfied with his wife/wives and not get caught up in adultery or any other sexual immorality.

Correction: verse 20.

Okay verse 20 then, and BTW making things bold isn't enough. Once again, speak your argument don't assume I know what you are trying to say.

Proverbs 5:20
Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?
Proverbs 5:20 NIV

Okay.. Soo... Yes why be intoxicated with another man's wife? The Lord gave you one to be satisfied at home...

I never said anything about not performing your marital duties. This is more about whether the husband will actually ENJOY performing those duties, or whether it will be a chore for him to do so.

It will not be a chore if he is not playing comparison games, coveting others and being satisfied.

My wife had a coworker she was really good friends with, because she had a son the same age as our older son. She had gotten on birth control and ballooned up. She told my wife that her husband told her that he didn't care how big she got. My wife used to throw that in my face, until it was discovered that her husband had a side-chick. That marriage didn't last.

First of all were they Christians? And second of all, that is not a good example to try to paint as a normal reality. I feel sorry for that couple. The husband lied to his wife and made her have a false sense of security that she would be loved no matter what. And then when something happened, which a medical side effect is not the same thing as just eating too much candy, happened (if this story is all there is to it) he bailed on her because he had hidden standards for how his wife needed to look, instead of being satisfied with the woman he choose to marry, even though through time she went through some changes... So how does add to your point? This man was shallow and weak willed and broke his vows over weight gain?

 

[RainyLondonFog]

@RainyLondonFog your point about husbands being satisfied with their wife got me thinking about balance. In the beginning God told women that our desire shall be to thy husband.
In the NT women submit, husbands are to love. Just saying there’s an interesting balance there not trying to hash anything out.

I would like you to expound more. I'm not seeing the correlation between women's desire for her husband, her duty to submit, his to love her and his duty to be satisfied. And I'm not sure what balance you are referring to, so I can't really think it over without more details.

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

Cor2:7:
But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.
1 Corinthians 7:2 NIV

I'm really not sure where you are going with this. You're going to have to make your points a little clearer instead of assuming I'm psychic and can see what rabbit hole you're going down. From what I can see in this verse, Paul saying stuff that sexual immorality was occuring, so therefore men stick to your own wife (which I'm going to assume is in a the plural sense. I'm not anti poly) and wives to your husband. Great, he still needs to be satisfied with his wife/wives and not get caught up in adultery or any other sexual immorality.

If you understood the context of verse 2, you would understand that the church at Corinth wanted to know whether they should marry or remain celibate.

Okay verse 20 then, and BTW making things bold isn't enough. Once again, speak your argument don't assume I know what you are trying to say.

Proverbs 5:20
Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?
Proverbs 5:20 NIV

Okay.. Soo... Yes why be intoxicated with another man's wife? The Lord gave you one to be satisfied at home...

Yup! Exactly! The point of that passage is that you don't need another man's wife. It is NOT a mandate of any form to enjoy what you have, and that is what our anti-poly friends like to invoke all the time. If it were, that would be the only proof they would need, that we only need one wife.

It will not be a chore if he is not playing comparison games, coveting others and being satisfied.

I'm sorry, but comparison or no, cellulite is not attractive to me in the least bit. If a man is attracted to girth, more power to him, and he won't have any trouble finding a wife or two, but personally, I would rather stick with one wife who exercises healthy eating habits, than have 20 or 30 that let themselves go.

First of all were they Christians?

Yes

And second of all, that is not a good example to try to paint as a normal reality. I feel sorry for that couple. The husband lied to his wife and made her have a false sense of security that she would be loved no matter what.

It is an example of what CAN happen when you are dishonest in marriage. I'm glad to see that you finally recognize the importance of HONESTY when it comes to physical appearances.

And then when something happened, which a medical side effect...

Just say "No" to harmful drugs! Especially abortifacients!

...is not the same thing as just eating too much candy, happened (if this story is all there is to it) he bailed on her because he had hidden standards for how his wife needed to look, instead of being satisfied with the woman he choose to marry, even though through time she went through some changes... So how does add to your point? This man was shallow and weak willed and broke his vows over weight gain?

Again, I must point out that the "weak-willed" argument, is totally fallacious!

 

[Well loved wife]

I highly recommend phentermine.

Yikes!!! Taking a pill like that with those side effects, sure you’d be losing weight, but the risk of turning into a crazy person wouldn’t be worth it, IMO.
A change in food choices or a lifestyle change will yield long term results in weight loss and produce better health not create more health issues. Exercise is also helpful, so I’ve heard

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

Yikes!!! Taking a pill like that with those side effects, sure you’d be losing weight, but the risk of turning into a crazy person wouldn’t be worth it, IMO.
A change in food choices or a lifestyle change will yield long term results in weight loss and produce better health not create more health issues. Exercise is also helpful, so I’ve heard

I kinda like the "Increased interest in sex" side effect!