I looked back in my journals to discover that my deep dive into submission began in July. The moment I decided I wanted to really know the truth about biblical submission the Holy Spirit took me “places” I didn’t even know existed. He had to take me “there” in order to change my perspective. This travel to a “foreign land” transformed my entire way of thinking and being. It still is, and I imagine always will.
As October arrives I am in absolute awe how in a blink of an eye I went from being a Christian/egalitarian/feminist to a biblically submissive woman, who believes in and supports biblical patriarchy and polygny. God works in mysterious ways. I am discovering that submission is a super power against the wiles of evil. It uproots anything not of God. I truly wish I would have grabbed onto this truth a lifetime ago, but I am here now, and so very grateful. I have so much anticipation for what He is yet to do in our lives as a result of me joyfully getting in my lane.
I don’t know if anyone else would find the following helpful, but by the power of His Spirit working in me He has inserted His way of thinking and given me His desires, and it has made all of the difference for me in coming to acceptance and application-the renewing of my mind.
If the Lord doesn’t build the house the workers work in vain. I had been working in vain for decades. I see that so very clearly now. My egalitarian feminist approach tore down more than it built up. There was no real yielding, just lip service. I taught our daughters this, so now I pray fervently for Him to give them desire to seek the truth and be set free as well. Hopefully my new example will produce fruit in their lives as well.
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My purpose is to help my beloved build his house in service to our Lord. It is not to make my name great, but his. I am talented, intelligent, industrious, a high achiever, entrepreneur etc., but each of these God given abilities is for my husband’s house, not my own. I hadn’t realized that not only was I not building his house, or letting the Lord build it as I submitted, but I was busy building my own. As that work lays crumbled at my feet, I do not feel condemned by it, but rather grateful that it is never too late to return to Him and do things His way!
Deception is an awful thing. I truly had believed I was doing right by God. Once He removed my scales, the truth didn’t look anything like what I had been doing. I was not even mutually submissive, I was fiercely independent. My husband is a firefighter. For over 25 years he was doing 24 hour shift work that often meant double shifts or extra long shifts, which drove me further into independence. At the time it was how I coped. He coped by praying for me to come to the truth and loving me well in spite of myself. Hindsight is 20/20 and he sees clearly now how He could have still prayed and loved, yet led me and our girls better. He has been doing that for the past three years and that is why I think I found my way to true submission. I found him trustworthy to lead me well. I felt safe and no longer needing to feel in control. It has been such a relief. Submission is such a gift.
Everything in me has softened and been reordered. I feel like I have finally found “home.”
The Holy Spirit has always given me words of knowledge in order to seek Him and learn. I can look back and see all of these bread crumbs leading me here and I am overwhelmed by his mercy and kindness, which has led me to repentance and new life!. Lately He has given me some doozies. Each has significantly rewired my thinking.
1. I can’t share what I don’t own. I obey. I won’t be sharing my husband; I will be submitting.
2. If I don’t fully submit he will remove me. I had NO idea what this meant until this past Friday while reading Ez 18:6 in the Septuagint. Remove means no conjugal encounters during menstruation- outside the camp. I heard the Holy Spirit instruct me further that he would discipline me in this way should I not obey. He knows I would miss sex, so this would definitely be punishing. It has made me sober minded and very careful to mind my steps.
3. Jealously is not feminine, but masculine. Thanks Peter Rambo for this teaching! What a mind changer! If He adds to my husband I am to be loving, kind, inclusive, non competitive, and support my husband’s mission of love and unity. Romans 12, my life chapter fully activated. He is our head, we are his body. We work together obeying his directives.
4. If my mind remains steadfast on Him there is no anxiety. He truly releases perfect peace that passes understanding.
5. My husband is not monogamous. He may choose monogamy, but he is always available to add a wife. I am always monogamous. He can add simply because he wants to do so, or because God wants to reward and honor him in order to build his house. I am not in control of any of these situations. My role is to reverently submit and not create discord.
6. I can choose to be happy for his pleasure. I can even desire that for him.
7. I do not want to align with Lucifer and the fallen angels in any way!
8. God is not concerned with my feelings, but my obedience. I choose submission because I love God. He bought me at a price. I am His. I belong to Him and my husband.
9. God is not trying to harm me. He is allowing me to enter judgment now and be refined because He loves me.
10. It is okay to be sad and cry knowing that a 40 year old love story will become something different if God calls him to polygny. But different isn’t bad. God would only do this to enrich and enlarge and conform us more into His image and likeness. I can move from sadness to joyful acceptance.
11. Joy is the antidote for various trials. My faith is being tested. It can create endurance. Endurance can make me complete, so I lack nothing. James 1.
12. The song, “House of Prayer” and “May the Lord” music are affirming what God is doing in me.
I praise His holy name! He is so faithful and good in all of His ways, which are higher than ours. I know I am at the very beginning of this long journey and am sure I will revisit this post to add to it or reflect on it. I think many others much like me are being called back to His divine order, so if you find this post, be encouraged. Nothing is too difficult for God. We truly can be transformed in the twinkling of an eye!
As October arrives I am in absolute awe how in a blink of an eye I went from being a Christian/egalitarian/feminist to a biblically submissive woman, who believes in and supports biblical patriarchy and polygny. God works in mysterious ways. I am discovering that submission is a super power against the wiles of evil. It uproots anything not of God. I truly wish I would have grabbed onto this truth a lifetime ago, but I am here now, and so very grateful. I have so much anticipation for what He is yet to do in our lives as a result of me joyfully getting in my lane.
I don’t know if anyone else would find the following helpful, but by the power of His Spirit working in me He has inserted His way of thinking and given me His desires, and it has made all of the difference for me in coming to acceptance and application-the renewing of my mind.
If the Lord doesn’t build the house the workers work in vain. I had been working in vain for decades. I see that so very clearly now. My egalitarian feminist approach tore down more than it built up. There was no real yielding, just lip service. I taught our daughters this, so now I pray fervently for Him to give them desire to seek the truth and be set free as well. Hopefully my new example will produce fruit in their lives as well.
. My purpose is to help my beloved build his house in service to our Lord. It is not to make my name great, but his. I am talented, intelligent, industrious, a high achiever, entrepreneur etc., but each of these God given abilities is for my husband’s house, not my own. I hadn’t realized that not only was I not building his house, or letting the Lord build it as I submitted, but I was busy building my own. As that work lays crumbled at my feet, I do not feel condemned by it, but rather grateful that it is never too late to return to Him and do things His way!
Deception is an awful thing. I truly had believed I was doing right by God. Once He removed my scales, the truth didn’t look anything like what I had been doing. I was not even mutually submissive, I was fiercely independent. My husband is a firefighter. For over 25 years he was doing 24 hour shift work that often meant double shifts or extra long shifts, which drove me further into independence. At the time it was how I coped. He coped by praying for me to come to the truth and loving me well in spite of myself. Hindsight is 20/20 and he sees clearly now how He could have still prayed and loved, yet led me and our girls better. He has been doing that for the past three years and that is why I think I found my way to true submission. I found him trustworthy to lead me well. I felt safe and no longer needing to feel in control. It has been such a relief. Submission is such a gift.
Everything in me has softened and been reordered. I feel like I have finally found “home.” The Holy Spirit has always given me words of knowledge in order to seek Him and learn. I can look back and see all of these bread crumbs leading me here and I am overwhelmed by his mercy and kindness, which has led me to repentance and new life!
. Lately He has given me some doozies. Each has significantly rewired my thinking.1. I can’t share what I don’t own. I obey. I won’t be sharing my husband; I will be submitting.
2. If I don’t fully submit he will remove me. I had NO idea what this meant until this past Friday while reading Ez 18:6 in the Septuagint. Remove means no conjugal encounters during menstruation- outside the camp. I heard the Holy Spirit instruct me further that he would discipline me in this way should I not obey. He knows I would miss sex, so this would definitely be punishing. It has made me sober minded and very careful to mind my steps.
3. Jealously is not feminine, but masculine. Thanks Peter Rambo for this teaching! What a mind changer! If He adds to my husband I am to be loving, kind, inclusive, non competitive, and support my husband’s mission of love and unity. Romans 12, my life chapter fully activated. He is our head, we are his body. We work together obeying his directives.
4. If my mind remains steadfast on Him there is no anxiety. He truly releases perfect peace that passes understanding.
5. My husband is not monogamous. He may choose monogamy, but he is always available to add a wife. I am always monogamous. He can add simply because he wants to do so, or because God wants to reward and honor him in order to build his house. I am not in control of any of these situations. My role is to reverently submit and not create discord.
6. I can choose to be happy for his pleasure. I can even desire that for him.
7. I do not want to align with Lucifer and the fallen angels in any way!
8. God is not concerned with my feelings, but my obedience. I choose submission because I love God. He bought me at a price. I am His. I belong to Him and my husband.
9. God is not trying to harm me. He is allowing me to enter judgment now and be refined because He loves me.
10. It is okay to be sad and cry knowing that a 40 year old love story will become something different if God calls him to polygny. But different isn’t bad. God would only do this to enrich and enlarge and conform us more into His image and likeness. I can move from sadness to joyful acceptance.
11. Joy is the antidote for various trials. My faith is being tested. It can create endurance. Endurance can make me complete, so I lack nothing. James 1.
12. The song, “House of Prayer” and “May the Lord” music are affirming what God is doing in me.
I praise His holy name! He is so faithful and good in all of His ways, which are higher than ours. I know I am at the very beginning of this long journey and am sure I will revisit this post to add to it or reflect on it. I think many others much like me are being called back to His divine order, so if you find this post, be encouraged. Nothing is too difficult for God. We truly can be transformed in the twinkling of an eye!
