-
Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.
Trying to understand the faith
- Thread starter Lisa
- Start date
I'm not sure what your question is, because you are asking several things at once.
Your title is "Trying to understand the faith". Our faith is Christianity. Would you like to learn more about Christianity? We'd be glad to tell you more, but I'd suggest starting by reading the Bible.
Your post then asks what we are looking for in a woman. The answer is the same as what any single man is looking for in a woman. Firstly, a woman who has compatible philosophical views (in this case, is also a Christian). Secondly, someone who you actually get on well with personally and want to spend time with. Everyone will have further details on that list but those will be individual.
Is that helpful? If not, please clarify your question.
Your title is "Trying to understand the faith". Our faith is Christianity. Would you like to learn more about Christianity? We'd be glad to tell you more, but I'd suggest starting by reading the Bible.
Your post then asks what we are looking for in a woman. The answer is the same as what any single man is looking for in a woman. Firstly, a woman who has compatible philosophical views (in this case, is also a Christian). Secondly, someone who you actually get on well with personally and want to spend time with. Everyone will have further details on that list but those will be individual.
Is that helpful? If not, please clarify your question.
Also, welcome to the forum!
Hi Lisa, welcome to Biblical Families. As the name of this organization indicates, this is all about the Bible; it's Biblical Families, so we would mostly identify as those who believe and follow the Bible. Polygamist men are no different to other men when it comes to their faith/belief in the Bible and the same goes for the women they might be attracted to. Different personality types appeal to different people and the same goes for physical attributes; we all have our preferences. Because this is Biblical Families you will find the men and women here are most interested in those with a biblical foundation to faith and life and would therefore see that as most ideal, acceptable/unacceptable. Hope that addresses your questions somewhat(?) We look forward to learning a little more about you, so post an Introduction when you get a moment. Shalom
Yeah, welcome, @Lisa, from a fellow Texan from Fort Worth. We have a number of members in and around Austin, though. Your profile says you're (currently) in Texas. Are you originally from here? Are you going to be here long? Do you already have plans to leave? If so, do you have a destination in mind?
I'd add a couple things to the wisdom of @FollowingHim (edit: and @frederick):
I'd add a couple things to the wisdom of @FollowingHim (edit: and @frederick):
- We do exhibit a wide variety in the various aspects of personality, ambition and accomplishments, but, generally speaking, I believe I'm not speaking out of turn to state that the polygamist men here seek (a) additional wives and therefore additional opportunities to provide love, support, companionship, passion and protection to women who have not been successful finding suitable husbands.
- We also seek to provide support for families who are also seeking the same and for families who are already plural.
- In addition we seek to provide solid support for families in general to conduct their affairs according to Scripture, which includes providing encouragement and support for men to become the proper leaders our Creator intended us to be.
- In line with the preamble of #1, our love for women, combined with the diversity of our membership, translates into a big tent within which almost any woman who also loves God, has faith in Christ and has the intention to follow The Word and surrender to our Creator will be considered both ideal and acceptable in the eyes of one or more of our membership. If you ask individuals the question, a given individual may assert that ______ is unacceptable or ________ just won't do, but I'd invite you not to take that as a blanket pronouncement from our membership, because if you're patient you'll discover that one or more or maybe even almost every other individual will eventually speak up to say, hey, I think ______ is entirely acceptable and _________ will do just fine!
I come from a polygamist family but left at age 17. Last month I was convicted to become a wife to a polygamist. My life has been very difficult since leaving but much better after a couple years of struggle. I became an entertainer in order to buy a home and find my way. Am I too far gone?
No, certainly not. Nobody ever is. And there are plenty of people in the Bible who did the same as you have done or far worse before coming to God. Jesus spent much of his time hanging out with prostitutes, tax collectors and so forth, because these were the people He cared so deeply for. God still loves you very much.
@Lisa, you'll probably find that polygamy-minded men are a bit more likely to be interested in marrying a woman with a complex past than monogamists. Difficult pasts do have ongoing implications for us - God can forgive us, but our experiences do affect who we are, how we react to situations, and what temptations we may continue to struggle with into the future. A monogamy-minded man is more likely to be looking for a superficially "perfect" looking wife, as he only expects to marry one. While a polygamy-minded man, already married, is more likely to be open to any woman God leads to him, even if she has a complex past. Also, he has the experience of being a husband to one woman, experience that may be invaluable in being a husband to a second with a past.
If God is drawing you towards a Christian husband, it would not at all surprise me if He draws you to a polygamist.
When growing up, was your family Mormon, Christian, or something else? What do you now believe in your heart about God?
If God is drawing you towards a Christian husband, it would not at all surprise me if He draws you to a polygamist.
When growing up, was your family Mormon, Christian, or something else? What do you now believe in your heart about God?
Of course not, but do you already have a particular man in mind who is a polygamist? If so, does he already know that you have this conviction?
Shalom and welcome, @Lisa.
You will find quite a broad variety of people, both men and women, on this forum. Further, while we all believe in Scriture and are some shade/flavor of Christianity, I.e., believe in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and His Son, Jesus/Yeshua, there is quite a bit of variety here.
Settle in, get to know us, meet the ladies, relax, and ask questions/enter discussion.
You will find quite a broad variety of people, both men and women, on this forum. Further, while we all believe in Scriture and are some shade/flavor of Christianity, I.e., believe in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and His Son, Jesus/Yeshua, there is quite a bit of variety here.
Settle in, get to know us, meet the ladies, relax, and ask questions/enter discussion.
Lisa, we've all had problems in our past and some of us have had challenges like your own or worse. It's what you choose to do with the experience is what matters. If you're coming to Christ, and it sounds like you are, then that's the first thing. I'm not a great example of a Christian but I hope to think I am a good example of what Christ can do with someone who is a massive mess.
And no, you are no further gone than any of us.
I can see two paths ahead for you:
1. Choose to come closer to Christ and prepare yourself for a family.
2. Find the right family and being with them can bring you closer to Christ.
I chose my family first and coming to Christ happened over time because I realized that God's love was coming to me through my family.
Maybe you can find the same thing. I hope and pray you do.
Welcome to BF by the way!
When you left at 17, were you leaving as a daughter? Or were you already married at that time and left as in divorce? Either way, were there some things going on that you didn't like that made you want to leave? And do you see those things differently now, or would you hope that in your next family those things won't be there?
Hello, anything is possible with God through all the pain and sorrow you go through in life and bad choices. It is God who can make everything right. The road may not be clear....just keep in mind ultimately you have to shut out ever bodies options and listen to God. God comes first..........put God first look for a man who truly wants to read the Bible and pray with you....and not to psychologically direct and control you in the dominant way
Welcome to the forum. I am in Austin, too.
Your question can be complicated and not all of the men here seek the same thing, but as a general answer I would say that the men here are seeking a woman who is committed to putting Jesus first, and, as a part of putting Jesus first, entering into to a life long committed relationship as a wife. The details can vary and every family is different.
You are never too far gone to start following Matthew 6:33. Maybe God has brought you where you are today in order for you to learn that you need him?
You have to know a little about me and my family. We negotiated our marriage. We negotiated everything from who does the dishes, to who folds the laundry. We have areas of responsibility, and while I'm the head of the Family, she's the head of the household. I would find unacceptable any woman who would not work in that framework, or who I feel would not honor her oath. She would have to negotiate with both of us for her place in the household, and be willing to accept me as her General.
Also, I have exceptionally high standards. She would have to have a good education, but not necessarily college. She would have to be willing to get a degree and the family would put her through school with the understanding that she would assist the family with her income, just as all of us do - but this is part of the negotiations.
You notice I don't talk about bodies, or faces. I don't care about that, except that it plays into health issues. I don't care if she's shy, or outgoing, as long as her chores are done and she meets the responsibilities she agreed to.
I can assure you of one thing, however. I love my wife dearly. I would "interview," (no-sex) the girl and arrange for her to stay with us a short time to see how we get along before we negotiate anything... I will do NOTHING that harms my wife, or our existing family.