This is something if been thinking and praying about lately. Some of you know I am a fan of arranged marriages. I guess that comes from my need to control the situation. My daughter's happiness is extremely important to me. I have years before this even becomes an Issue , she's only 10, but everyday I hear her talk about when she's gets married and has a family she is going to do this or its going to be that way with her kids. She wants to get married when she's 18. Its got me thinking about alot of things. What kind of man do I hope she marries? Does age matter? What if she wants to be a plural wife?
I'll start with age. Does it matter? In short, to me Yes, but probably not for the reasons others think. This might sound strange to some of yall, but I don't want my daughter to marry an 18 year or so boy. I would prefer she married a man in his mid 20s to early 30s. Some one who has grown up. Set aside childish things. I believe this because someone has to have the maturity in the releastionship. As head of the house it should be him. I know age doesn't always equal maturity. Sometimes we attribute maturity to those who don't have it because of age or deny it because of youth. Would I be ok with her marring someone 18 or much older than I prefer?
What if one day my daughter wants to become a plural wife? This really started to twist on me. I believe in Polygyny. I my self am willing to marry another woman. Why then was my knee jerk reaction to the thought be no way? It's because of cultral programing. I had to really question my beleifs and motives for myself about being willing to take a second wife. Any woman I brought into my family would be someone's daughter. Why would it be ok for someone else's daughter and not my own? This is what has come to me after a few weeks of prayer. It shouldn't matter to me. If he loves her, can see to her spiritual needs, treats her with respect and providers her with opportunity to flourish in life there's nothing more I could ask for. Plus I could get a glimpse of her future and how she would be treated by looking at his marriage. If his motivation is love then there is no greater one.
What kind of man do I hope she marries? Hopefully I've done my job well enough that she will except nothing less than a G-d fearing man who has the courage to practice what he preaches. A man who has the convictions to make the right decisions in the tough situations. A man worthy of her trust, knows the diffrence between being a boy and a man, and understands the value of a good Christian woman. Does age matter? Would I be ok with her marring someone 18 or much older than I prefer? No, age doesn't matter. It's not about age it's about his maturity. Would I be ok with her becoming a plural wife? It depends on the character of the man. I know when she marries she leaves my covering for his. This does not mean she's no longer my family. It means he and his are now mine aswell. If he is the type of man that I would accept as a member of my family then I would give my blessing. If he lacked the strength of character to be a good husband or was someone I wouldn't want my family to be associated with I would with hold my blessing and council her against the marriage.
I'll start with age. Does it matter? In short, to me Yes, but probably not for the reasons others think. This might sound strange to some of yall, but I don't want my daughter to marry an 18 year or so boy. I would prefer she married a man in his mid 20s to early 30s. Some one who has grown up. Set aside childish things. I believe this because someone has to have the maturity in the releastionship. As head of the house it should be him. I know age doesn't always equal maturity. Sometimes we attribute maturity to those who don't have it because of age or deny it because of youth. Would I be ok with her marring someone 18 or much older than I prefer?
What if one day my daughter wants to become a plural wife? This really started to twist on me. I believe in Polygyny. I my self am willing to marry another woman. Why then was my knee jerk reaction to the thought be no way? It's because of cultral programing. I had to really question my beleifs and motives for myself about being willing to take a second wife. Any woman I brought into my family would be someone's daughter. Why would it be ok for someone else's daughter and not my own? This is what has come to me after a few weeks of prayer. It shouldn't matter to me. If he loves her, can see to her spiritual needs, treats her with respect and providers her with opportunity to flourish in life there's nothing more I could ask for. Plus I could get a glimpse of her future and how she would be treated by looking at his marriage. If his motivation is love then there is no greater one.
What kind of man do I hope she marries? Hopefully I've done my job well enough that she will except nothing less than a G-d fearing man who has the courage to practice what he preaches. A man who has the convictions to make the right decisions in the tough situations. A man worthy of her trust, knows the diffrence between being a boy and a man, and understands the value of a good Christian woman. Does age matter? Would I be ok with her marring someone 18 or much older than I prefer? No, age doesn't matter. It's not about age it's about his maturity. Would I be ok with her becoming a plural wife? It depends on the character of the man. I know when she marries she leaves my covering for his. This does not mean she's no longer my family. It means he and his are now mine aswell. If he is the type of man that I would accept as a member of my family then I would give my blessing. If he lacked the strength of character to be a good husband or was someone I wouldn't want my family to be associated with I would with hold my blessing and council her against the marriage.
I really don't mean this in a preachy way, maybe I'm just not experienced-enough a dad yet, but...I don't get it. I feel nothing but joy that God may bless my son with multiple wives, and am already praying for him and them 
