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What if one day my daughter wants to be a second wife?

EternalDreamer said:
Do we REALLY value the shitty, hurtful, close-minded society we live in that much, that we would be distressed more by that than excited for our children to experience the fullness of God's blessings? o_O
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Nope! Some of us could not care less about what "society" (whatever that is) thinks of my life and choices. I only care what others think if it is likely YHWH thinks the same.

Congratulations on your son!
I understand your sentiments. I hope that being raised with an understanding of biblical marriage is a blessing to our children as well.
 
windblown said:
Would love to know what's going through this guy's head now! :D
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So, the interesting thing is, still with no knowledge of anything, I was praying with him and asking for intercession on the day of one of the worst arguments with my first wife about poly, when she actually left me for a bit. This mentor had a vision of me sitting at a holiday dinner with my first wife and 'some other woman' (whom he described similar to my second), with God serving us a great feast. The day we tell him what all's been going on, he's going to be blown away lol
 
EternalDreamer said:
Alright so, I realize I am VERY late to reply, and I realize this was about daughters (not sons), but...

Had my first son the other day. A spiritual mentor of ours was present, and we had a time of prophetic prayer for little Aiden. This mentor, who knows nothing about our situation or poly or whatever, had a vision of my son walking hand in hand down an aisle with two women he was 'connected to'. I felt an immense swell of gratitude and praise that God would like to bless my little boy, who isn't even a month old yet, with multiple wives.

Is this hard? Of course it is! Does my situation suck right now, with my first wife not really being on board and being upset by it, and not living together with my second? OF COURSE IT SUCKS. It sucks big. But still, when the thought came of my son having multiple wives during the prayer, I felt only joy and excitement for him. May he be blessed and God enlarge his house! :)

To my shock, when discussing this with my first wife later, she was unhappy, and although she knew that was what God meant, she didn't want to believe it. At first I couldn't believe she would be so selfish as to withold that from our son (in her heart) because of her own feelings in our experience. But surprisingly, her answer was that she didn't want Aiden to go through the ostracization or upset of society/family/friends/etc.

I honestly cannot sympathize with that feeling, and am kind of surprised at how many of you seem to feel the same way! Not a criticism, I'm just surprised. Do we REALLY value the shitty, hurtful, close-minded society we live in that much, that we would be distressed more by that than excited for our children to experience the fullness of God's blessings? o_O I really don't mean this in a preachy way, maybe I'm just not experienced-enough a dad yet, but...I don't get it. I feel nothing but joy that God may bless my son with multiple wives, and am already praying for him and them :)
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Your wife is postpartum.
She needs a lot of grace right now.

One of the things that my wife very much appreciated during the period of our mental reset to the Biblical idea of marriage was my reassuring her that we would be in agreement in the future and that it would all make sense as we grew in our understanding of YHWH’s ways.
Focusing on the positive rather than where we were at odds bypassed the attempt of the enemy to divide us.
 
EternalDreamer said:
But surprisingly, her answer was that she didn't want Aiden to go through the ostracization or upset of society/family/friends/etc.

I honestly cannot sympathize with that feeling, and am kind of surprised at how many of you seem to feel the same way! Not a criticism, I'm just surprised. Do we REALLY value the shitty, hurtful, close-minded society we live in that much, that we would be distressed more by that than excited for our children to experience the fullness of God's blessings? o_O I really don't mean this in a preachy way, maybe I'm just not experienced-enough a dad yet, but...I don't get it. I feel nothing but joy that God may bless my son with multiple wives, and am already praying for him and them :)
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Humans are at heart social creatures. Not everyone has that pioneering spirit to go forth into unconquered lands alone and make something from nothing. For some people, social ostracism is worse than death. Think about our tribal ancestors. If you get kicked out of the tribe: you die. Usually slowly and painfully. Even if not outright rejected, if you are at the bottom of the totem pole you get the least of everything.

This is why social approval, pragmatism and tradition are too often valued over truth. Most people aren't wired this way. And really, that is necessary. You can't have a tribe with 50 chiefs; most people just need to be followers.

Our burden then as people willing to strike out away from the herd is to build new tribes. Hence the importance of being willing to give our daughter as a second wife. To understand that even if polygamy isn't in the cards for us, we can lay the foundation for the next generation to undertake it by building social/familial circles that accept and embrace it. Even if that starts with just a husband and wife founding the start of a new clan.
 
steve said:
One of the things that my wife very much appreciated during the period of our mental reset to the Biblical idea of marriage was my reassuring her that we would be in agreement in the future and that it would all make sense as we grew in our understanding of YHWH’s ways.
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This was what we agreed on before marriage when we had differences in understanding, and YHWH gave us both peace about marrying, even though we weren't agreed on everything.

It can make a huge difference to keep this concept in mind.....especially when post partum or having difficulties of any kind.
 
My eldest daughters (twins) will be able to make marriage choices in another eight years and while I expect one of them to pursue an education and then a family I think the other will be interested in starting her own family. Whether she's a first wife or a second wife I do know she'll be great at it and I also know that her happiness will be in the hand of God. I'll try to guide her and counsel her when the time comes but at the end of it all I know I'll be happy for her no matter what she chooses.
 
MeganC said:
My eldest daughters (twins) will be able to make marriage choices in another eight years and while I expect one of them to pursue an education and then a family I think the other will be interested in starting her own family. Whether she's a first wife or a second wife I do know she'll be great at it and I also know that her happiness will be in the hand of God. I'll try to guide her and counsel her when the time comes but at the end of it all I know I'll be happy for her no matter what she chooses.
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I have a few sons who will be about ready in 10 years. Talk to you then!
 
ZecAustin said:
My sons range fron 19 to 3 with a high probability of more to come. What age do you want? I probably have it.
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We have 6 from 8 to 21. :-)
 
FollowingHim2 said:
So what everyone is saying is that in a few years time we need to have a retreat where everyone comes with all their kids and we partner them up and marry them off?
I'm good with that.
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Excellent idea I have two sons and three daughters so far...
 
I have 4 sons, 18 to 27 and one married daughter, 3 stepchildren in their 30s with 5 grand kids, so a 'marry them off' retreat sounds good to me too.
 
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