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Where are the women?

This is a most perplexing situation ED and it tears at our emotions. I'm the same as most of the others here in that we want to encourage and counsel you but we don't know either you or your wife. So please consider my words with that regard and may God's will be done for you.
We are told in holy scripture that the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword (Heb. 4:12). You are a servant of the living and true God, and are to fight the good fight. If the battle for the truth and God's name is to be won, it will be by upholding the truth through the clear and bold presentation of the Word. God's Word effects the hearts of people, hardening some but changing and transforming others. Don't be belligerent but be bold in setting forth the truth to you wife and those she is being influenced by, and trust the outcome to Almighty God who gives victory to those who hope in Him. He does things far above and beyond anything we might ask or expect. Blessings brother and shalom. May His peace be upon you.
 
Thank you guys. Again, I would not be standing as well without all of you.

@ZecAustin and @frederick , I have tried a number of times. She just says stuff like "you know what you have to do". I have been loving but firm.

But I am genuinely interested to hear suggestions. Zec, you say not to talk to her at all. But Frederick makes a great point (and @Joleneakamama ) about God's word being a strong point to stand on. If I dont talk to her, how can I speak God's word?
 
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EternalDreamer said:
If I dont talk to her, how can I speak God's word?
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She’s not going to hear you or God’s word through you. Over the last year + you’ve burned the respect she had for you (whether justified or not, at this point it doesn’t matter). She has to have God speak to her heart to change. You can’t force her to change, just like you couldn’t force her to want plural in the beginning.

If she does lawyer up, you better believe she is saving every message that may imply coercion (or the sort) and that attorney will twist the words in a way you wouldn’t believe. Many men have been through the divorce/custody train wreak. It is not pretty.

Without God changing her heart, she will drag you and your second through the mud.

I pray that this challenging time strengthens your relationship with your second and that you can grow together. I’m sure this is terrifying for her as well.
 
Praying.
 
ED We wrestle a spiritual enemy. The battle is first in the realm of the spirit. Your demeanor in all of this seems to be very right. Keep the battle won against the enemy of your soul that would first, try to defeat you and weaken your spirit. Ultimately she has free-will. God gave it and will ultimately respect it. God plants in a wife a desire to her husband, but she can override that if she chooses. You do not have the spiritual power or right to force her (you can lead and she can choose to follow or accept the consequences ) In the final analysis in the realm of the spirit you have the authority and right to demand that the demonic realm be silent so that she can express her true desires and will free of demonic distraction and influence. She has the spiritual right for the opportunity to have the "voices" to be silenced so she can exercise her own choice. She may need your authoritative prayers for that to happen. Pray for and demand, in the realm of the spirit, for that to happen for her.
If her heart desires to follow God and you as her husband, then you truly do have a wife.​
Spiritual warfare may still be required to keep the "voices" at bay.​

The spiritual enemies will always seek an opportunity to persuade one to take a wrong path. Be sober and be vigilant. Your battle is to do the right thing; her battle is the same. Keep the faith! Win YOUR battle. Walk uprightly. Hope and pray she does the same.

The ultimate battle is for the fruit. Don't let the enemy have the "fruit of the Spirit" which God has placed in your life. Let the fruit abound whether she does or not.

love and prayers for you and yours:
Jim







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I second what Jim said above... Even if she is choosing to legally “divorce” you (simply abolishing that government piece of paper / civil union contract), she is actually Biblically only “putting herself away” from you... and you REMAIN (Biblically/ in Gods eyes) her husband!... You therefore have headship over her still and remain her spiritual covering and authority! Pray against the enemy and the demonic darkness / unclean spirits that are influencing her and those around her!

May The Lord continue to guide and direct you brother! Im praying for your situation with a unique fever, as I’m currently going through a very similar situation/ struggle/ battle!

Shalom!
 
EternalDreamer said:
Thank you guys. Again, I would not be standing as well without all of you.

@ZecAustin and @frederick , I have tried a number of times. She just says stuff like "you know what you have to do". I have been loving but firm. My last text to her:

"I have not left you or divorced you. You have left me. I will not let you spin this as if I am the aggressor or instigator when this is a course of action you have chosen. You have gone back on your own promises and words, especially over the past year, and that is on you. Now, I still love you and can forgive you! I miss you ❤ But you need to do the right thing as a loving, Godly wife and return to me honey That is how this will be fixed. Please come back "

I realize Zec especially may take issue with my lovey language lol.
But I am genuinely interested to hear suggestions. Zec, you say not to talk to her at all. But Frederick makes a great point (and @Joleneakamama ) about God's word being a strong point to stand on. If I dont talk to her, how can I speak God's word?
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I think that text was perfect. I just don't think you should follow it up at all. You've said what needed to be said. You can not change her mind with words. Now leave her to think it over and pray.
 
EternalDreamer said:
My prayer is for the same thing. I keep reaching out in love ...
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You are getting lots of good advice and encouragement here and I just wanted to add my encouragement and prayers.

When I went through a somewhat similiar situation it became very clear to me how little control I really had. Basically none. All I could control was myself. I had to be faithful and true to God and his truth and what I believed his will was for me as best as I could determine, and I believed that if I did that that he would take care of me and see me through, no matter what happens, and I still believe that today.

God bless you and your family.
 
DeathIsNotTheEnd said:
ARE there any women out there who genuinely want polygyny? Who do well in an want that lifestyle and will be a good wife for a man with multiple wives?

Or is it just a pipe dream?
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Nope. There are women out there who want this. I'm the second of five wives and I absolutely love it!!!
 
Men that are in a position to, but are not actively taking more wives (which comes down to literally ONE thing, ...the first wife ALLOWING it) drive me absolutely insane ... cuz there is an absurd amount of available women out there that are extremely ready and willing and waiting to be courted as additional wives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:

And yes... I often wish to punch some of these men in the face. :D ... in love, in Christ of course!

Lift up your eyes Patriarchs... the fields are ripe for the harvest ! A lot of sisters out there are dying spiritually and otherwise without a godly man to lead them!
 
rustywest4 said:
Men that are in a position to, but are not actively taking more wives (which comes down to literally ONE thing, ...the first wife ALLOWING it) drive me absolutely insane ... cuz there is an absurd amount of available women out there that are extremely ready and willing and waiting to be courted as additional wives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:

And yes... I often wish to punch some of these men in the face. :D ... in love, in Christ of course!

Lift up your eyes Patriarchs... the fields are ripe for the harvest ! A lot of sisters out there are dying spiritually and otherwise without a godly man to lead them!
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And where are these women? All I've seen is an absurd number of women who are near 100% guaranteed to be a future divorce.
 
rustywest4 said:
there is an absurd amount of available women out there that are extremely ready and willing and waiting to be courted as additional wives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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You really think this is true? Many willing to be courted as additional wives? I’d find that surprising if so. Most I’d think don’t even have it on their radar, and when brought to them, I’d assume they’d denounce it right away without giving it a thought. I hope I’m wrong and you’re right, because I agree 100% with this...
rustywest4 said:
A lot of sisters out there are dying spiritually and otherwise without a godly man to lead them!
Click to expand...
 
rustywest4 said:
Men that are in a position to, but are not actively taking more wives (which comes down to literally ONE thing, ...the first wife ALLOWING it) drive me absolutely insane ... cuz there is an absurd amount of available women out there that are extremely ready and willing and waiting to be courted as additional wives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:

And yes... I often wish to punch some of these men in the face. :D ... in love, in Christ of course!

Lift up your eyes Patriarchs... the fields are ripe for the harvest ! A lot of sisters out there are dying spiritually and otherwise without a godly man to lead them!
Click to expand...
Exactly! I wish there was a love button instead of just a like button cause this deserves one.
 
Using discernment and the Lord’s leading (via His Holy Spirit within), it is very doable to “court” these western ladies, get to a place where it is easily realized she won’t follow beyond a certain point, then break it off... It’s surely a “You can lead a horse to water but” type deal!
The trick is, completely laying out your expectations and who you are as a man of God... fully and completely expressing up front (before things really go anywhere) how you function as a Patriarch and how you run your house... no negotiations!
This pretty much makes the bad ones run away screaming! And usually the screaming is colorful name calling!
“Bye Felicia!” :p
 
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