@theleastofthese I would agree with that regarding most women being monogamous by nature. We have discussed it many times and most the time that seems to be the only thing she thinks about is how she would feel while I'm sleeping in the other bedroom if that is what ends up happening.
As for the "off-putting", I'm not even sure what you mean by that and I never meant to imply that I intended on leaving. I see her heart, she is a really good woman, huge heart, full of love but she was raised like the rest of us and told that anything outside of one-man one-woman is adultery. It has taken me this long to get through to her and it has been a rough road!!!! I have no intentions of leaving or letting her go. I see her value and her worth and I appreciate her value and worth and IF someone came along that liked our family dynamics (which let's be honest is a minuscule minority) I could see her blessing the second and I would hope the second would bless her and if they weren't I would either have to figure out how to get them to work together or it couldn't work, but I have no intentions of letting her go. My thought was more of her not being able to handle the whole idea of polygyny and seeking government assistance to attempt to dissolve our union, but I really don't see that happening.
In the past few days we've had some pretty good talks about it all. I don't see anyone coming along or finding anyone but she has the mindset of if anyone does come along that she will make the best of it.
Women have been lied to and brain washed in western culture for sure. They watch movies and see a man that is crazy in love with and only has eyes for one woman. Look at the marriage vows, "... Forsake all others". Makes sense for the women, not so much for the men and doesn't do either any justice.
Flip that coin around and imagine a culture where women are raised knowing that it is normal for men to seek a or many additional wives, where movies are made that portray a man having 2 or 3 wives, then women wouldn't have this mindset that they do today.
Look at what is happening in TV shows and movies now days. Most the time the man is made to look like a complete idiot, unable to manage his family, the woman having a stronger mind set, more emotionally stable, the women don't act like idiots. They are indirectly teaching women that men are stupid childish morons.
@julieb yes, when I made the first post that day I was feeling completely run over, run down, worn out, you name in, I was just spent.
However after that day and my venting the conversations have opened back up and scripture is being dug into and biblical definitions are being defined and I don't feel so worn down anymore, though with all the interruptions we have not as of yet been able to sit down and discuss everything, but in time we will. Today we discussed submissiveness, each other's expectations and what is written regarding submissiveness.
It really got to her when she found out Pete Rambo was having his wives call him Lord and Sir. I don't really expect that, I believe it is a title that is earned, but even then I don't expect that. I'm not sure why Sarah called Abraham Lord but I suspect that she had that much respect for him and as such showed it by calling him Lord, but that is my interpretation.
Again
@julieb I have no idea what God has in store for us, I hope one day to figure it out. The only thing I know for sure is polygyny has been on my mind and heart for 15+ years, the only message my wife received from God was, "Work on yourself" and thus far that is about it but I believe we are making progress, slowly, but progress. In the beginning she was dead set against the polygyny life style because she believed it was a sin. Now she sees that it isn't and is at a point where she is willing to make the best of having a SW, but I think she still has some "renewing" to do, but frankly we are all constantly trying to improve ourselves when we see where work needs to be done. Such is life.
I think this is a understatement. It AMAZES me that these people studied the bible and can call having more than one wife a sin. Is it ignorance or deliberate? I could actually see it being deliberate so as to go along with the societal narrative, to appease their wives and to appease the population just to get people through the door and to avoid answering to multiple women and other citizens why polygyny is acceptable when society says it is not.
Not to mention those single women without a man are more defenseless, easier to control and manipulate just by simple telling them, "You don't need a man, you can do xyz all on your own", "You can get money from the government and child support for your children" which weakens the family unit and leaves not just the women but the children open to further manipulation.
I think part of it is they don't want to have to put up a fight. By ignoring the fact that responsible polygyny is not a sin they are avoiding a pretty serious battle that would show up at their door step.
However, with that said, if they did put up a fight and won (which how could they not) and managed to keep the doors open I think their congregation, while it would shrink at first would gradually get VERY large. Then again people don't like hearing the truth, so that could very well be it for them too. That would be in God's court I think, though it would be a major trial.
Ecclesiastes 1:18
For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.
Anyhow, just know that my wife and I are very committed and stubborn. We don't just give up, we love each other and we've stuck it out all these years and plan to stick it out the rest of our lives and while some of what I post may unintentionally portray that she's a pain in the back side, she is not, she just holds VERY strongly to what she believes is truth and has a difficult time accepting a differing truth from what she knows but she is coming around and we have a open line of communication now.
I will not however say that there will not be bumps or hurtles in the road but I do know we will make it through.
As a side note, I did buy Pete's two books, I haven't read them yet but they are sitting on my desk. My wife read a chapter, it made her quite mad that it is not considered adultery if a man sleeps around but is if a woman does. I had to break that down for her a bit, but if there are other resources you guys have in mind feel free to let me know.
As for the women's group, I have brought it up but she is not ready yet. She is afraid that if she joins the group that everyone will try to brainwash, manipulate or belittle her, so with enough time I might be able to get her to at least give it a try.
