a different kind of marriage...

[Melanie]

I was making a statement that sometimes, second wives have issues that need to be dealt with, that may have been brought on by how others treated them before, ie self esteem issues, mental abuse by a former husband, etc.

Wouldn't that apply to any wife? First second, third, sixth? etc Those sentiments would not have bothered me at all expect for the presumption Welltan made that a woman willing to be a plural wife must have some sort of history and be unsuitable (not good enough) to be someones first wife.

While i agree with your point i think it should be applied across the board.

 

[Chaplains Rose]

Melanie,
Having read your first post and skimming through the 5 pages of replies, it appears to me that everyone has replied to you based on the statements of your posts which lead me and others to assume you are referring strictly to a second or other wife and not a first wife. i agree with you in that these issues you have raised in replying to others posts can occur in a first wife. But again everyone assumed you were talking about a second or other wife. In reference to your first post about the type of relationship you raise,it could happen, but would not be "healthy" for all involved, especially if it is a non-physical ( does not imply a sexual relationship) long distance relationship. Such a relationship would tend to be more of a friendship than a marriage.

 

[Melanie]

First of all i was merely putting the suggestion out there to see what others think i am not seeking a relationship exactly like that. It being healthy or not i think is up to the individuals involved and their circumstances.

Have you seen this thread?

viewtopic.php?f=34&t=319

It is relevant in that it is this attitude that Chaplin was perhaps inadvertently referring to when he responded to Welltans post in this thread.
There are at least 3 other threads that are directly relevant to this one, such is the nature of message boards.

 

[Edward the Elder]

Melanie,
Having read your first post and skimming through the 5 pages of replies, it appears to me that everyone has replied to you based on the statements of your posts which lead me and others to assume you are referring strictly to a second or other wife and not a first wife. i agree with you in that these issues you have raised in replying to others posts can occur in a first wife. But again everyone assumed you were talking about a second or other wife. In reference to your first post about the type of relationship you raise,it could happen, but would not be "healthy" for all involved, especially if it is a non-physical ( does not imply a sexual relationship) long distance relationship. Such a relationship would tend to be more of a friendship than a marriage.

:mrgreen: Well, Chaplains Rose. . . My sweet 'lil lady from Louisiana and I were friends for 18 months online before we even so much as held hands. I'm glad that we had the time to relate to one another on a more cerebral basis for a good time to get better acquainted with eachother first. This also gave the wife of my youth more time to adjust concerning my personal affections and intentions before making any rash decisions about the matter, as well giving the rest of the family time to get better acquainted. I think that this is one of the wonderful things about the internet: It offers people that sort of long-distance type of relationship before they meet in person and if it doesn't work out, rarely is there any lasting harm done. Admittedly it's not quite the same as courting incarnate but it certainly has its advantages as well. I think that is how all marriages begin anyway — as friendships. After all, "friends first" is always a good policy in relationships. I don't think problems and issues in plural marriages are always so different than those occuring in monogamist marriages. In either case, all parties concerned must respect one another's differences and work together on the common ground. There are always problems and issues but it is GOD that both preserves and heals. Without His Hand in the deal it's already pretty much hopeless (pardon the pun) Everyone has issues but GOD is the great equalizer in the marriage equation. He can make the seemingly impossible all work out for the best. Would you agree?

 

[Edward the Elder]

I think the only way to answer these questions would be to first define "marriage". After all, in today's perverse society, men can "marry" other men, so clearly "marriage" has already been altered beyond any recognizable definition in our culture. According to Scripture, sexual intercourse marked the transition from the betrothal period to full marriage, so any couple remaining in the first state would still seem to be married, although the relationship is never consummated.

Move to the head of the class! You hit the nail on the head, DJ. That is truly the problem. Most folks do not know what actual MARRIAGE is precisely as the Bible defines it and a large portion of these don't really even WANT to know. If anything ever caused me to regret the way I lived my life in the past it was the realization that I had lived in denial of what GOD called marriage for well over thirty years from the day I had my first clue. GOD speaks to our hearts continually, but sometimes we also need to open our eyes and see what the LORD is showing us. Some folks call that a "reality check". It is all too easy for people live in blatant denial of something that is staring them square in the face all the while and it often takes alot more guts to call a spade a shovel than some might think. That is indeed what I did after I finally hit the wall, realizing that GOD never once changed His moral law. Nor shall I ever forget the humiliation I experienced when I finally OWNED UP to what the LORD GOD first called ONE FLESH and I've been paying for it ever since. Well, that's okay. At least now I know the truth. Sometimes I just want to take a hold of these young whippersnappers and give them a good shaking... Get them to WAKE UP and smell the coffee before they repeat the same mistakes I did. If only I were twenty years younger, knowing then what I know now, but I took alot for granted in those days. Sound familiar? Alas, 20 years ago I thought people like me were sick and perverted old dogs because I was judging them according to the flesh (my own flesh) without fully understanding the gifts and the calling. I was contemptuous, self-right, and lifted up in my pride, thinking myself something simply because I was "monogamous". The sad truth is, I never was monogamous and my track record is not at all something that could ever substantiate that monogamy was what GOD wanted for me. All I ever wanted was to be loved and accepted but I was a coward of the worst kind and I am truly sorry for it now; but I cannot change the past. I can only warn the youth. That is why I started a ministry on the internet because so many of our young men are totally lost on the marriage issue. They don't even know what it is anymore. Lest any say that I disclude the women... If the men are lost then the women are forsaken. Both history and the Holy Bible proves it.

I realize that it is a serious conundrum that snowballs and escalates until the only end in sight is bitterness and contempt on both sides, this proverbial battle of the sexes; but the truth is, nobody wins in a world of gender equality. Men are not women and women are not men. Only the few will ever come to the full knowledge of what exactly biblical marriage is without help and guidence, which seems pretty much in short supply these days. The rest usually get knocked off their high horses and tumble down the mountain side. Should they manage to survive they might even bear their humility and shame long enough to learn the truth about marriage and the fact that some men are indeed called to more than one wife for a very good reason. Of course, there are always exceptions to the foolish rules mankind likes to employ, that are contrary to the Word of GOD; but how many monogamous men will say, "Bigamy is not wrong but not all men are called to it". Not many. My calling began at 14 years of age and I kept right on running until I was in my early forties. I had plenty of opportunities in my youth where the ladies in my life would have happily complied and even told me so. Now I am old and not so much desired. False pride is a killer. The truth is that the LORD was showing me that I was called to more than one wife all the time and I kept on dismissing it for the voice of the devil. It had very little to do with the satisfying of the lusts of the flesh, but it certainly had something to do with the fact that I was called to raise up seed and that I was very capable of loving, truly loving, more than one woman at the same time as my spouses. I suppose I could blame the pastors, or my parents, or society, or anyone else but me... But at the end of the day, it is MY RESPOSNIBILITY to know what thus saith the LORD and no one else's job. I could have stopped dismissing the Word of GOD for archaic, OLD TESTAMENT LEGALISM and realized that GOD's MORAL LAW never changes, but I was too proud of my monogamous lifestyle wherein I never once had any affairs behind my wife's back or committed adultery. No, I had to eat a grande slice of humble pie instead, before I would finally become willing enough to receive the knowledge of the truth. That is where my beloved Hope came into play.

...to be continued at some point...

 

[Edward the Elder]

Edward the Elder,
Sir.. as one who knows Chaplains Rose and seeing as you have made mention that you and her were friends for 18 mts before holding hands.....may I ask as to how you came to know her seeing as she lives in Louisiana?? You may send your response to me in a private message if you wish.

Chaplain Sir,

I regret to say that I just finished typing out the whole story of how Hope and I met when I accidently hit "delete" instead of "enter" on my keyboard and lost the entire thing. I hate it when that happens! Hope no longer lives in Louisiana. She and our beloved new daughter, Abigail, a Canadian citizen, live with me here, in CANADA, where all my family reside: The true North, strong and free, where Common-Law marriage is considered lawful marriage in our courts of law and men and women need not apply for a license to divorce to be "officially" considered ONE FLESH in the Sight of GOD. I thank the LORD JESUS for this daily.

Okay.. One more time...

I was a level four sysop for MSN GAMING ZONE and had already completed all my courses from Microsoft by the time I met my beloved Hope. I was independantly testing an online beta version of a game which I suppose I am likely not at liberty to mention because of legalities involved. No matter, the game no longer exists anyway. Hope was a second year university student living on campus at Iowa State University, majoring in zoology, another one of my personal interests since childhood. (Actually microzoology was the thing that really caught my eye and became my obsession when I was eleven, but all this is immaterial.) Already by this point I was losing interest in the online gaming thing and beta testing new games was the only thing that actually kept my waning interest alive. Hope beta tested online games in her leisure time and I was testing a game that required a minimum of four players. We had three participants already, but I needed one more person to help so I asked her because she registered online and seemed available. She readily accepted my offer and I guess it could be said that the rest is history.

In retrospect, I think it only fair to say that the wife of my youth knew about Hope from the first day we met online. I simply had to tell her about the interesting young lady that I recently met who was majoring in zoology and came from a good, Christian background. Speaking of "background", there is some background information you might consider useful here, because when I reflect on all those conditions that had to synchronize in order for this whole thing to take place, the entire scenario reads like a miracle. You see, I was already well-accustomed to over a thousand (I hardly exaggerate) advances from all sorts of women online (which I promptly declined, being a registered sysop and the "happily married man" I fancied myself to be). I considered myself fully "immune" to the cybersex community because I had (and do have) a genuine preference for the "real thing". I made no secret about my marital status at that time and I still don't. However I feel that I should confess that I was quite attached then to my online conversations with my favorite niece who was approximately the same age as Hope while she was working on her degree in psychology and I missed our live chats when she suddenly vanished and I never saw her online again for well over a year. What I am saying is that if Hope had made anything that could be interpreted as an "advance" toward me she would have been promptly shut down. Instead, we became good friends. She knew I was a married man, she knew I had children, she knew that I had Christian principles and high moral standards. Perhaps Hope provided that sort of "surrogate" niece I was missing and this "deepened" our friendship.

All of this occured online. The wife of my youth received regular reports about my surrogate niece and thought nothing of it. Neither did I. A strange turn of events occured however when Hope caught a flight to her parents during thanksgiving. Her parents had no internet or pc and she was going to be gone for some time. Already she knew that I had developed a certain protectiveness about her and had warned her about the dangers of online gaming, telling her to stick to her studies and whatever she did, not to fall in love with anyone until she completed her degree. I "uncled" her and warned her about the online predators. I had absolutely no interest in her maritally or otherwise than to be a good friend and to encourage her success in university. I freely told my online friends (and I had many, hundreds even) that I loved them and Hope was no exception. I did not understand how important it was for her at that time to know that she was loved by some person other than her family. So I suppose that I could be blamed for having kindled the spark in my confession of my love for her. At that time it certainly wasn't the sort of love that I shared for the wife of my youth. No, that came much later. Nontheless I did miss her company and often wondered how she was. I suppose that when she returned she already knew what her feelings were toward me. Being a man, I was a little slower on the draw.

It was when she was gone again to her parents in Louisiana a second time for the solstice holidays of December that I began to sense something between us that was not the sort of love that is normally shared between friends. One morning I was walking upstairs from my basement when suddenly I felt this embracing in the spirit that I knew to be that sort of affection that a man sometimes feels from his wife even when she is not present in the flesh. By the time that I made it to the kitchen I knew it was Hope's love. I was aghast. "Where did I go wrong?", I thought. "How could I let this happen?" I thought that I had been clear about my intentions and yet this was definitely the love of a woman I was feeling all around me and it was definitely not the wife of my youth. Where did I go awry? It was time to pray... That is what I did. Every time I tried to ask my LORD for forgiveness for what I knew in my heart was true, it was pulled away from me. I was blameless and could not understand why. I could not feel remorse... And yet how could this be? How could I possibly be feeling the love of two women both at once and not feel conviction of sin? I was perplexed. I knew what I felt. I knew this was not mere sensuality. I knew that I was not without discernment. Three times I prayed. . . In the morning... In the afternoon... and finally, in the evening, I received a vision in prayer that I will always remember. The vision is sacred to me and I will not describe it here. It answered much. My LORD spoke to my heart and I verily have His blessing because this time, instead of consulting my wife first, I consulted my LORD first. To this day I now hold this belief that before a man consults his wife about anything he must first consult the LORD. After this I spoke with the wife of my youth and received even further witness. I already knew what would be waiting for me in my email and hesitated for nearly a week before I opened my email. I was so perplexed. All of this was going against everything that I had been taught about marriage. When I finally opened my email it was all there... The love poems, the confessions, the whole story... This was Hope's attempt to reach me. Her parents had purchased a computer and she was trying to reach me via e-mail. But you see, I already knew. My GOD doesn't lie. I already knew. I already had my witness. I needed no further validation of her love.

When Hope returned to University the following year we chatted live, on MSN messenger. So the question then was where to go from here... An intensive Bible study ensued. Were we wrong? Was it not a sin for a man to have two wives? Was this not adultery? Oh yes, the wife of my youth was not in the dark about this either. In fact she even went to a friend's house and did an independant Bible study with her friend. She concluded that it was not a sin for a man to have two wives. I was slower at it. I wanted to know the entire width, length, breadth, depth, and scope of it. I wanted to leave no stone unturned. I had to know beyond a shadow of doubt. WHY? Because I have a responsibility to the truth. Once a man receives the HOLY GHOST evidenced by speaking in tongues he doesn't mess around with the Word of GOD. I had a witness and I needed to know why. . . Why did my LORD tell me it was not a sin after every thing that the pastors taught? I had to know. Three months later, I knew. So did Hope. So did Pamela. So did my children. Since then, I've been preaching it and teaching it all over the internet: It is not a sin for a man to have two wives. No, we have been robbed, are being robbed, and will continue to be robbed by lies preached from the pulpit until true men of GOD step forth and tell these lying pastors that they will not accept their lies anymore. Satan was a liar from the beginning and the father of it; but GOD cannot lie and GOD called it "two wives". That is the first step to breaking free of this bondage placed upon us by ROME. The time is come to call a spade a shovel and declare what thus saith the LORD. No matter how vehemently the Pharaohs of the pulpits preach against this truth with hardened hearts, the prophecies of GOD are sure and if two wives are not a sin then it is not a sin to have seven wives either. I hope this helps answer some of your questions.

GOD BLESS YOU

 

[sweetlissa]

:lol: Chaplain,
I do believe I saw the flames in your eyes from Dallas. I was going to explain it to you. Glad you figured it out for yourself.
LOL

Sweet Lissa

 

[Edward the Elder]

Brother Edward the Elder,
I believe that there has been some misunderstanding on my part and I wish to publicly apologize to you and all here on the board. I had assumed by the way you wrote the following: ..... Well, Chaplains Rose. . . My sweet 'lil lady from Louisiana and I were friends for 18 months online before we even so much as held hands........that you knew Chaplains Rose. I had asked you how you met Chaplains Rose and you gave me an answer to how you met Hope. You see Chaplains Rose is my wife and I was just wondering how the two of you met seeing as she does not know you. This goes to show one and all yet again, that the way we write our post, they can be and some times are, misunderstood or taken in a wrong way. That is why I have tried to encourage one and all several times to please read over your post and make sure they say what you wish in a manner that cannot be taken wrong, seem harsh or does not come across as UnChristian like. Again I apologize for the misunderstanding.

Chaplain, Sir

I concur. What is so funny is that I had typed out my reply and lost it, and then typed out another reply, and I still did not even realize what you were saying. I was totally oblivious to what you were asking me and your words did not make sense to me. There are also great differences in the way we understand words in Northern Canada as compared to the way some understand words in the Southern U.S.A. Dialect is also a factor. I suppose I might have better expressed myself by underlining and emphasising the word "my": "Well, Chaplains Rose. . . MY sweet 'lil lady from Louisiana and I were friends for 18 months online before we even so much as held hands." I apologise for this misunderstanding also. I recall once telling someone that we had to be careful with text because text does not easily convey tone. Tone carries a considerable value in the articulation of our language and our speech. Some have stated that it doesn't matter so much what we say but how we say it. Personally, I believe it is both: What we say and how we say things matters. Yet again, to be true, we say nothing in these forums that is oral however verbal our words may be. We are not actually heard and this often makes for a considerable difference in communication.

My main point to that communication addressing Chaplain's Rose, your wife, is that I wanted to verify that online relationships can be very real and that it is good to establish such relationships on a "FRIENDS FIRST" basis. Making friends online can give one time and a measure of protection that they would not otherwise have. This is also one reason why online dating is become so popular. I have not actually used online dating per se, but I have looked into it and even once registered with one of these to see what the result would be... I had to block my email afterward. The scores of replies from women that poured into my email account every day were overwhelming.... A good many of them very eager to be a sister wife. Perhaps too eager. At first I thought it might be spam. (Insert words here: ___) but over time I saw that these replies were indeed from real women looking for husbands and willing to try the "sister wife" thing. About 10% of these were replies from women who were adamantly wroth with me, lecturing me on the sins of adultery, and these pretty much accounted for hate mail. Some of the replies were quite humorous and many of them were very sad. I don't think people really understand the condition of the planet and I would venture to say that North Americans take too much for granted. Of course, if I were to answer any of these I would have had to pay a nominal fee first and so I declined, telling the agency that I was no longer interested in their system and that I was simply running a test to see if they were for real.

Folks, they're REAL. Hundreds of thousands of women around the globe are willing to try the "sister wife" thing and many of them also hope to become citizens of North America. Many of these have their own money, their own "bread", and are able to provide their own apparel. A good majority of them come from some Christian background also. Some of these are even willing to pay for their own plane ticket ... If only they had a place to go! This is only one more proof that the prophecy of ISAIAH FOUR is not merely some Symbolic Metaphor but a real event that is prophecied to take place in this world. Blessed are those who have escaped from ISRAEL!

Chaplain, Sir:

Once again, I apologise for this misunderstanding. Normally I do not communicate here that often; so I understand that I don't have much of a repitore here and for a couple of years I often just read the posts. I was invited to join by a fine young man using the name DUKE OF MARSHAL. I certainly would not be so disrespectful of one's wife as to call her my own when she is not. At no point did I address Chaplain's Rose as my own wife and would not think to do such a thing. I am truly sorry for the misunderstanding. I was merely expressing that my wife, also from Louisiana, shares the belief that it is not a sin for a man to have wives, plural (among other things). I was rather hoping that your wife would find this information encouraging and delightful; although it is evident that she has not replied to my post that was addressed to her directly, under the watchful eyes of this fine forum.

GOD BLESS YOU

Edward

 

[Chaplains Rose]

Edward,
Now that the air has been cleared I guess I now can now say :lol: !!! and read your post and now understand what you were meaning. Lets just say this Cajun woman's temper almost got the best of her . It's funny how different styles of writing and language usage can cause some confusion and misunderstandings.
I find it quite unique that your wife ,Hope, is also from Louisiana and she also accepts plural marriage. I agree with you in that there are those Godly men, such as yourself and The Chaplain, who have through the study of God's Word opened their hearts up to loving more than one wife and building a Covenant Relationship Family, though the make up of those families can vary from family to family. I would be interested in speaking with Hope through Biblical Families or through Yahoo if she is interested. Again , I am glad the err of misunderstandings have been cleared.

 

[Edward the Elder]

Well, she's online right now using the auxilary computer. She spends a great deal of time in YAHOO ANSWERS making mince meat out of atheists. :lol: Yup, we eat alot of mince-meat pie up here. JK. I relayed the message to her. She's a little shy when it comes to these sorts of things because as you can likely guess, she has been treated very harshly in many forums professing faith in GOD. She feels safe in YAHOO ANSWERS. REDHOPESTER@YAHOO.COM is her email addy there. Personally, YAHOO really isn't my cup of tea. Feel free to send her an email.

GOD BLESS

Edward

 

[DaPastor]

I was making a statement that sometimes, second wives have issues that need to be dealt with, that may have been brought on by how others treated them before, ie self esteem issues, mental abuse by a former husband, etc.

Wouldn't that apply to any wife? First second, third, sixth? etc Those sentiments would not have bothered me at all expect for the presumption Welltan made that a woman willing to be a plural wife must have some sort of history and be unsuitable (not good enough) to be someones first wife.

While i agree with your point i think it should be applied across the board.

Mel,

I understand what you are trying to say here. Sometimes it seems that the standard for a second, third, etc... wife is much higher than for the first wife. Sometimes a second or third wife may go through a grilling from the other wife as well as the husband which the first wife, in most cases, never had to experience. I think that the first wife and husband should be careful how they treat potential other wives.

From my perspective, I believe that the husband makes the choice. It is his wife. The first or second wife should definately give their input, wisdom and concerns, but should be careful not to usurp authority in the home. A loving Godly husband will listen to his wives, but ultimately the man makes the final decision.

 

[Mark C]

That is good input, Pastor Randy.

I would add simply that the dynamics associated with the understanding of marriage as God ordained it in the Bible are vastly different than what most of us were taught.

Monogamy-worship leads to the conclusion - graphically demonstrated on TV, post-Christian Amerikan 'society', and The World - that since "there can be ONLY one", SHE must be perfect. Those failing to meet that impossible standard, of both sexes, are most often discarded, put away, abandoned, divorced, or walked away from, in search of an "ideal" that was never appropriate to begin with.

Polygyny, OTOH, has other issues - some justifiable, and others based on many of the same Romanized (from whence comes the unfortunate term "romance") bias that idolizes the pagan standard. Wives in a polygynous House are divested of the unrealistic burden of "be all and end-all" to their husband, and have companions to share work, love, burdens, duties, and joys with. But there is always another important dynamic to be considered as well. While the entire House MUST be guided by the husband, under the headship of our Messiah, and in accord with His Word, there are simply more relationships to consider in polygynous marriages. Harmony, forgiveness, and patience are very important in all concerned. They can (and must) be fostered and learned, but it is not unreasonable that all such issues be explored early in relationships that are to be sealed by permanent contract.

The important choice of a second (or subsequent) wife is not necessarily subject to more "stringent" criteria than any other LIFE-LONG COVENANT should be; it is just that ALL of those criteria are probably very different than what society has taught most of us they should be.


Blessings in Him,

Mark

 

[Edward the Elder]

That is good input, Pastor Randy.

I would add simply that the dynamics associated with the understanding of marriage as God ordained it in the Bible are vastly different than what most of us were taught.

Monogamy-worship leads to the conclusion - graphically demonstrated on TV, post-Christian Amerikan 'society', and The World - that since "there can be ONLY one", SHE must be perfect. Those failing to meet that impossible standard, of both sexes, are most often discarded, put away, abandoned, divorced, or walked away from, in search of an "ideal" that was never appropriate to begin with.

Polygyny, OTOH, has other issues - some justifiable, and others based on many of the same Romanized (from whence comes the unfortunate term "romance") bias that idolizes the pagan standard. Wives in a polygynous House are divested of the unrealistic burden of "be all and end-all" to their husband, and have companions to share work, love, burdens, duties, and joys with. But there is always another important dynamic to be considered as well. While the entire House MUST be guided by the husband, under the headship of our Messiah, and in accord with His Word, there are simply more relationships to consider in polygynous marriages. Harmony, forgiveness, and patience are very important in all concerned. They can (and must) be fostered and learned, but it is not unreasonable that all such issues be explored early in relationships that are to be sealed by permanent contract.

The important choice of a second (or subsequent) wife is not necessarily subject to more "stringent" criteria than any other LIFE-LONG COVENANT should be; it is just that ALL of those criteria are probably very different than what society has taught most of us they should be.


Blessings in Him,

Mark

Agreed. It is comforting to read the words of a brother who has evidently done his homework. Thankyou for the words of wisdom.

 

[Mark C]

Thank you, Edward. Much of what I have learned comes from the school of hard knocks as well, however, by virtue of having made my share of mistakes. It is also very comforting to remember that God chastens those He loves...

Love in Him,

Mark

 

[Edward the Elder]

Amen. Not only does GOD chasten those that He loves but He also rebukes them. I would not go so far as to say that he does not also bless His children. For me, the road to accepting biblical bigamy, or whatever label for it that one might care to aspire to, was extremely rocky for me and left me a bigamist only by default. Through this process I learned many valuable and expensive lessons. My circumstances were indeed quite humbling for a man who had faithfully practiced monogamy for 22 years and had adopted a somewhat self-right attitude toward those who chose this sort of "alternative" lifestyle. At that time I had relegated the state of polygyny to unbridled lust and sin. I condemned it in my confusion, failing to understand that the dynamic employed in the love of a wife is not the same dynamic that one employs in their love of GOD. One does not worship a spouse. I was so very wrong and often wonder if there was anything else I have ever been more wrong about than this in my life time; howbeit I believe that GOD suffered me this humility for a sure testimony.

I received the blessing from the wife of my youth for a new wife only by the time the wife of my youth was already an aging woman and for all intents and purposes, beyond child bearing years. I was not nearly prepared for the changes that followed thereafter and although I still indeed have two wives according to that letter of the law provided by both man and by GOD, I will confess that my present circumstances hardly reflect the sort of life that I had originally hoped for irrespective of the fact that I am still richly blessed by this choice. In my treasure of blessings I would find that humility is also bountiful. Yet it seldom ceases to amaze me to learn how many would pray for my failure instead of my success. So now, here I am, humbled beyond all recognition, few truly knowing me, fewer even caring, still married and the loving father of only three children in total and no grandchildren despite having two wives. . . A bigamist by default, never once having divorced and never once having put away either wife, ever reflecting on that odd turn of events that brought me to this place and how foolish I was in my youth having little guidence and direction from those elders who should have otherwise instructed me correctly. This is something that I should greatly like to spare any future generations of young men and young women from: Squandering their lives in whoredom and fornication in a failure to understand what GOD called marriage from the beginning. I would readily state that this kind of marriage is not for the covetous or the worldly. It is only for the very mature.

I shall never forget the resistance and condemnation I first experienced at the hands of those who would teach our youth lies whereby they might continue to stumble and fall prey to the whims of neo-pharisees and opportunists of every ilke and now, I find myself swinging a broadsword, weary old knight that I may or may not be, rusty old armour and all, dashing to pieces every bit of false doctrine touching marriage to lead our youth astray that happens to come my way. It is too late for my son. He is convinced that I am mad. This is only one more measure of humility that I must bear for his sake and for the sakes of the rest of our young men who fail to concur the truth about marriage. Yea, it is an endless battle, often a thankless battle, a visionary battle and a battle for the truth. I marvel that what brought me here were the words of a young virgin daughter of a Baptist deacon who challenged me to put the doctrine to the test to prove beyond all shadow of doubt that it was indeed a sin for a man to have two wives. She was so convinced that her feelings were not wrong. I had my doubts. Though my love for her at that time was more paternal in nature than anything else, I accepted this challenge with relish, thinking surely there was scripture to support such a popular and established doctrine. The humility was mine. I was forced to confess that the mainstream churches of so-called Christianity were not telling the truth about marriage and were holding the assemblies in bondage to myths and lies just as she, herself, suspected after attending an altar call and pouring her heart out to GOD.

I shared my findings with the wife of my youth who in turn engaged in an independant Bible study with certain ladies of her own choosing and also concluded the same some months later. They could not produce the scripture. It was at this point that the residents of my own community began to shun us both and even the general atmosphere at the church was no longer the same. I will spare the reader the details as they were not pleasant to say the least. This sort of marriage is not for the feint of heart. This sort of marriage is for the mature and for those who are rich in the knowledge of the LORD. Even then it will not be without its special challenges although it may produce many blessings otherwise undreamed of. It is totally unsuited to the whoremonger, the adulterer, and the fornicator and particularly volitile for the immature in Christ. It is by no means for the selfish-hearted and even less so for the sanctimonious pontificator thinking themselves something in the LORD. It is so greatly misunderstood and so peculiar to actual, mainstream thinking that I would not recommend it for 98% of marriageable couples today until they really spent some intensive study of the subject in the Holy Bible first (even as I and both my wives did) and even then with the full knowledge that there is no guarantee that such will result in a happy and successful family life. It is a sacrifice in honour of a higher standard and a greater principle than the world is able to bear. Through all of it LOVE must always be the bottom line, all the time, without exception. I hope and pray anyone reading this and considering such a cause might benefit from these words. Biblical bigamy, or polygyny, as some call it, is NOT to be trifled with.

GOD bless the reader.