• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

General Advice for woman who has left father of children due to living conditions?

salt

New Member
She didn't want to leave him, but she now has mold toxicity and is trying to heal. He is angry with her for leaving and only speaks to her in regards to their son. She has also discovered she is pregnant, and he won't talk about it. Was it wrong for her to leave?
 
There are too few details given for me to judge this.
And yes, judging her actions is what you are asking us to do.
 
She didn't want to leave him, but she now has mold toxicity and is trying to heal. He is angry with her for leaving and only speaks to her in regards to their son. She has also discovered she is pregnant, and he won't talk about it. Was it wrong for her to leave?
Yes, it was wrong for her to leave. Mold toxicity is resolved by killing the mold, something am adult woman is totally capable of resolving herself with a bottle of bleach.
 
Might be a tad harder than just a bottle of bleach if it's in the sheetrock.

There's a reason there's a segment in Torah about mold in homes. Follow that procedure, and it might be discovered that there's a deep rotteness in that home. However, there very well might be extenuating circumstances we are not privy to for him not to follow standard mold-removal practices, like financial hardship.
 
Sorry, but she was a guest in the house. The mold is not in one spot. It is in the HVAC system and all over the bathrooms. She got it in her eyes when cleaning a vent in the bedroom. Bleach is actually not the ideal way to clean mold, anyway. The whole house needs mold mitigation, and his family is unconcerned. My question is not how to clean mold but whether she should continue to live in a home that is making her sick and hope she can survive until he is willing to move out and get a home for them.
 
Might be a tad harder than just a bottle of bleach if it's in the sheetrock.

There's a reason there's a segment in Torah about mold in homes. Follow that procedure, and it might be discovered that there's a deep rotteness in that home. However, there very well might be extenuating circumstances we are not privy to for him not to follow standard mold-removal practices, like financial hardship.
He is living in his parents' home not due to financial hardship but the desire to save money for a business venture. He won't discuss the mold problem with them.
 
...so it is his parent's responsibility. Yeah, I'd call that an extenuating circumstance. He needs to man up for the protection of his family and tell his folks they have a mold problem.

If the parents refuse to do anything about it, then he needs to suck it up and find a way to make a change of living arrangement. His new business venture won't go long if he is sickly from mold, alone because his wife sought safety, and his kids are dying.
 
I found that canvas tents have vastly improved over the generations. $1k, which is about one month's rent, is all it takes to have a miniature house. If they can stay in the back yard with a canvas tent, that will get them out of the mold and still let them live cheaply. (Together!) It sets him back a month, but that is nothing compared to the cost of medical complications from mold.
 
The tents is a good idea if nothing else works. If the son is going to live there, there is nothing stopping him from saying, mom and dad, we have a mold problem and since you're not really too concerned about, I am offering to pay for mold mitigation services. That way my family can safely join me here. He probably is not paying rent, so he should be able to afford some things. If his business needs to get placed on hold for a few months extra, then so be it. If she is actively getting very sick, I can't say I blame her for seeking temporary lodging. But really, he needs to man up, lead his family, and take care of his family. That is the bottom line. There are many ways to get this done.
 
There are two sides to every story; we always get a very different picture when both parties are involved in the discussion. And why wouldn't he be angry with her? For better or worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health.
 
I found that canvas tents have vastly improved over the generations. $1k, which is about one month's rent, is all it takes to have a miniature house. If they can stay in the back yard with a canvas tent, that will get them out of the mold and still let them live cheaply. (Together!) It sets him back a month, but that is nothing compared to the cost of medical complications from mold.
He is unwilling to spend money on any other living situation. He said no to a small RV or renting a house or apartment. He would never agree to a tent. He is fine with the mold since he seems to be well. He told her to suck it up for at least another year.
 
The tents is a good idea if nothing else works. If the son is going to live there, there is nothing stopping him from saying, mom and dad, we have a mold problem and since you're not really too concerned about, I am offering to pay for mold mitigation services. That way my family can safely join me here. He probably is not paying rent, so he should be able to afford some things. If his business needs to get placed on hold for a few months extra, then so be it. If she is actively getting very sick, I can't say I blame her for seeking temporary lodging. But really, he needs to man up, lead his family, and take care of his family. That is the bottom line. There are many ways to get this done.
I totally agree with you. She emphasized she was only leaving to get well. He knows that but still won't discuss the mold with his parents. It is like he thinks it is rude or disrespectful. She has talked to his mom about it, but she said it's ok to have mold. So, at this point, she is just praying that he will understand she needed to leave for her health and forgive her.
 
No, he wouldn't be interested, unfortunately.
He may just feel awkward bringing it up to his parents because ya'll are living in their household. If mold was making me sick, i'd leave as well. I feel like he should be more concerned with his family's health than his pride or future business ventures. That's my opinion based on one side of the story.
 
Sorry, but she was a guest in the house. The mold is not in one spot. It is in the HVAC system and all over the bathrooms. She got it in her eyes when cleaning a vent in the bedroom. Bleach is actually not the ideal way to clean mold, anyway. The whole house needs mold mitigation, and his family is unconcerned. My question is not how to clean mold but whether she should continue to live in a home that is making her sick and hope she can survive until he is willing to move out and get a home for them.
Yes, she should live in the house or get his permission to stay in a satellite location he approves of.
 
Back
Top