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Being Shunned, AND LIKING IT.

Mojo said:
If I am correct, these awards and designations started up when the new forum format began. I am not the most senior member around here.

It is about number of posts AND likes. But, just volume of postings isn't going to get you there. The members of this forum have to like what you say. They have to feel that your messages contribute meaning, humor, wisdom, thought and insight. The moderators don't grade each poster. It's the members who are determining it by number of likes.

I don't game the system, but if you look at the history of my posts, they tend to be shorter. Uber-Long posts with numerous verses and cut/paste material is often glossed over by many. I like to keep my posts the length of an average conversation. I like to keep them meaningful. How many people bust out 10 paragraphs with charts, links and 20 verses at one time in a face to face? If they do, they're the only ones talking after a while...and to themselves.

I don't think I'm particularly wise or interesting. I think it's my posting style more than anything else.
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Asforme&myhouse said:
I think the way it’s set up works just fine. If someone is only posting things to gain likes or recognition, they have issues that are not going to be fixed by changing the platform.
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Likewise, someone posting material to deliberately agitate (trolling) doesn't serve the greater purpose if this forum.

Let's remember. This site is foremost about allowing those who are involved in polygyny to find support, and those interested, contemplating, or just seeking, to find information.

Likes or dislikes are not the focus. At some point, if your views aren't liked, you will figure that out quickly, and work to convince others politely....or just leave quietly. I know of few people ever kicked off here, or SHUNNED.

Keeping your posts primarily about polygyny or biblical marriage will find lasting acceptance around here.
 
I am pleased with the current system. I don't think forums tend towards the same sort of sociological downfalls as Facebook etc. But some of that is in how we use it. Conversation not tweets. Thoughts not images. Ideas not outgrouping.
 
The biggest problem with Facebook is that it only gives a tiny patch in the middle of the screen for actual writing, to leave room for ads etc, and hides most of long posts, forcing people to write very short snappy comments. This discourages well thought-out discussion and favours quick statements, that tend to be more extreme as they don't include the qualifications you would put in a longer one, so result in more polarising arguments and less actual learning.

And the fact that you go onto it to discuss something serious and find you've actually spent an hour watching videos of cats... The proportion of time spent in deep thought is therefore reduced further, and that impacts conversation also.

The biggest benefit of this forum is full-page writing.
 
That's what I hate most about Facebook (outside the whole CIA thing). Totally useless for real conversations. And it completely killed all the email usergroups that used to be such great resources for learning.
 
FollowingHim said:
It is possible to add an add-on to Xenforo that would allow us to restrict the number of "likes" a person can give out each day. That could potentially allow the feature to remain more sincere and therefore useful, and minimise the proliferation of "likes" and resultant psychological engineering that is the problem with Facebook.
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I say this mostly joking: one like a day to distribute as you wish would likely bring out the best posts. The only problem is that there are some really incredible articulate thinkers on here, and it would leave many who don’t fit in that same group with no likes.

All joking aside - I like it just how it is. Like Steve, I don’t think anyone is coming here for the likes.
 
If I could create a poll here I would ask,

When you check your Alerts, do you...

_____ Check your likes first?

_____ Check the replies to your posts first?

_____Don't care about the Alerts, go straight to the hottest topic to participate?
 
I left Facebook in 2014. When I was using it, I was depressed. The topics that came through the news feed would upset me. At times I even noticed myself thinking differently than I did before. The constant barrage of media from the advertisements and people was brainwashing me. I had none to very few real friends that I actively spent time with.

After I dropped Facebook, I actually met people in my area and made real genuine friendships. I now have several very close friends who do not use Facebook. our lives are much better than before. We have peace, serenity, good conversations, and I meet more people than I did on Facebook.

Honestly the only thing I ever miss about Facebook was being able to sell junk on the yard sale pages. Now I just run it through auctions and Craigslist.

About being shunned by the Churches. I still Go. I just don't tell them my beliefs. Yeshua, did say: "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast. ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them. under their feet, and turn again and rend you." In truth they mean well but just don't know what they are doing. Of course I don't have a family In tow since I am a loner, so I can blend in. If I had a plural family to consider; I suppose I would do house church. Me simply mentioning that I don't believe in state contract marriage is enough to be shunned by most churches. I have simply defended plural marriage before in a church never actually stating I believed in it and was ostracized so yeah there is a lot of hate there.
 
andrew said:
Oh, well, gee, then I guess you can't learn anything from other people's experiences....

Question: How many anecdotes does it take to make a statistic? I know of no example of anyone's turning a state church. I know of no example of anyone's turning a home fellowship. I know of maybe a dozen examples of well-intentioned individuals thinking 'their church is different' and having their you-know-what handed to them by people who appear to have lost their minds.

So tell you what: You figure out how to turn your church, be the first one to do it, and then come back and tell us how you did it. You'll be a hero, and you'll save future families a lot of unnecessary pain.
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I am still on good speaking terms with my pastor even after our exchange of emails, so, so far so good. No second wife has yet officially entered the picture yet though, so like I said, I don't have any advertisement out there that says, "Ask me about polygamy", but things very well could be moving in that direction. Our Bible Study class is going through Matthew, and we are now in chapter 16. Just three more to go, until we reach chapter 19. I am well liked in the class, and well respected for my knowledge of Scripture, so I will have something to report in the next month or so.

I do know this. My pastor wants prayer warriors. He is very big on people who are praying for revival. I would be interested to see how he would react if a bunch of polygamy minded families showed up at one of the Metro-wide prayer gatherings, in the city of Austin, to come and ask God to send revival to our city and to our nation. Contact Pastor Kie Bowman at kiebowman.com and ask how you might be able to get a prayer movement going in your city. My former church in Plano, TX is very big on evangelism. I wonder how that church's pastoral staff might react if Christian polys were to inquire about how they might help share the gospel with their friends and neighbors. Sign up with E3Partners to go on a mission trip to Romania along with many of the folks from Prestonwood Baptist. Spend a week there, and win friends and influence people, and mention in passing that you happen to believe in polygyny. Sure, you might take some flack, but we all take a lot of flack every time we go onto a public forum to do any sort of online outreach, do we not? At some point, we have to engage the enemy on his home turf, don't you think?
 
Daniel DeLuca said:
Sure, you might take some flack, but we all take a lot of flack every time we go onto a public forum to do any sort of online outreach, do we not? At some point, we have to engage the enemy on his home turf, don't you think?
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Daniel, you crack me up. You don't know me, so you have no idea how foolish you look lecturing me along this line as if you know things I don't in this area.

Good luck with your strategy. You're gonna need it.
 
Cap said:
Revelation 18:4
Then I heard another voice from heaven say: "'Come out of her, my people,' so that you will not share in her sins, so that you will not receive any of her plagues;

Babylon is considered to the world government system, Mystery Babylon is what woud describe the church system that encompasses the world systems and eventually leads people away from the One True God. Coming out of this system seems to be highly important when the time comes just before the fall of Babylon spoken of in Revelations.

This morning at church we saw three separate women in the middle of worship, raising their hands in praise and honor, singing, closing their eyes in prayer, and checking their cell phones for text messages. All at the same time. Once the text messages were sent, back to praise and worship, with hands held high. Repeatedly.

At the retreat a large portion of the discussion was about how we as christians who believe in plural marriage are being removed from this system. Based on Rev 18, that appears to be a blessing in disguise.

I myself, and I'm thinking a lot of others, have held the idea that if I could bring the biblical idea of family to them they would see the light and that would help in bringing the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth. But that's not what Revelations says is going to happen.

Why are we trying to be a part of this system? Have I missed something?
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Man made religion
andrew said:
The BeFree community died years ago, and the founder/leader has recanted his polygamy teaching and tries to avoid association with it (he's way off into end times + hebrew roots stuff now). (No offense to my HR brothers; it's his particular cocktail of HR and end times alarmism that is interesting to me.) (And I don't mean he's "way off" as in heretical or "off his rocker", I just mean he's way down a particular road. That has nothing to do with plural marriage. In the context of which his previous association with PM is an embarrassment to him.)

Meanwhile Daniel, I would disagree with everything else you said in that post. The government churches don't "need our support". We need to recognize the evil they represent and come out of them.
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Amen, the false prophet and harlot titles are a hint in the Bible. Beastie's church has an important purpose, to keep many people obeying the beast. Some even say love it or leave it. Lol
PM is representative of God's relationship with us, hence why the particular (spiritual or supernatural?) dislike by this world. I have seen this for many years now and is fascinating.
 
andrew said:
Daniel, you crack me up. You don't know me, so you have no idea how foolish you look lecturing me along this line as if you know things I don't in this area.

Good luck with your strategy. You're gonna need it.
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I would think it is much more difficult to take that flack from your own church, than a church you have not yet been a part of, but I haven't really taken much of that flack yet. If I do get shunned from my current church, and I visit another church, and that church shuns me, I suppose after a few churches do that, I might get frustrated. At that point, I would still be willing to visit a church, if I knew a fellow BFer needed support in facing their church, because I wouldn't really care if they didn't like having me there. FLDSers have a bit of an advantage in this area because their community is not so spread out like we are.
 
Verifyveritas76 said:
Kudos on your conversations Daniel. The point you need to be cautious is when you know he’s discussing it with his wife or peers. Often they’ll admit in private conversations what they won’t dare to stand for in public.
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I do hope he discusses it with his peers, because ultimately, I would like to see this topic taken on in a live debate in a major forum. I guess the real question is, who would be the ideal candidate to take on an anti-poly debater. That Dowell/Roberts debate went very well for the pro poly side, but the forum was restricted to the Hebrew Roots minded crowd.
 
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