It's a long story but Steve and Christie were really an amazing match. I totally understood why they fell in love.
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Biblically speaking. If a man/household needs a first wife's outside income, is the husband right in seeking additional wives?
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It's a long story but Steve and Christie were really an amazing match. I totally understood why they fell in love.
What do you think Dave Ramsey would say? And I do not ask that lightly, I know of Dave Ramsey but I do not know much about everything he says so this is a serious question.
No, he would not. He wouldn't make the perfect the enemy of the good. He would recommend entirely reorienting their finances, but I've never heard of him promoting extended celibacy for the sake of getting rid of debt. What I have heard him say is that it's worthwhile to reorient the finances to line up with scriptural imperatives at the beginning of the engagement period -- including forsaking the spending of money on a lavish wedding when it could be used to pay off debts and/or invest in something like a home or starting a reasonable business.
My point is that, while I'm all in favor of eliminating debt, I don't believe it should be a hard and fast rule before entering into any marriage, poly or mono.
Isaiah 4:1
Interesting perspective. This is where my analytical engineering brain has a sandbox to play in. (Play with these numbers as you will) If average husband takes home $3K, house is $2K (mortgage, power, water, etc), and another meager $500 in food, clothing. He’s still providing for his home. Now along comes 2nd wife and there isn’t enough for a second home, but might have just enough to add more food and clothing to the household. It would be easy for a wife to earn for “vacation” or lifestyle. Money is fungible. The issue is what are necessities and what are wants. Car payments, entertainment, eating out, etc. Also, the average person has little budgeting mindset, and lacks self control. Look at the stats for income, savings, debt, etc. It’s almost always a behavior problem, not a math problem. Review the man’s character.
There is a Biblical reason and I am sure it has been talked about, but also I want to say that one person's income might not be enough for just one person. Now let's say you have two adults and a child, Both have to work or most will not make it. For me and my house none of my wives can be a boss over any man so they do stuff that won't require, it is best to do work from home or start your own family business. Right Now we are just beginning to feel the impact of inflation and it won't stop, I am that person who is saying Join together and become stronger or you will lose everything. One Man and Multiple Wives who work at home or do their own businesses will use the Multiple Income Structure/Bulk buying and reduce the cost of everything. Even if a wife brings in $1,000 per month it would have much more value then by herself, as with myself I own my house and that would save on rent. We all eat the same food so that is bulk cost as well. Women who are the same size can wear each others clothes so increasing their wardrobes same with our children. The Larger the family the more cost effective.
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Didn't see this in there:
The real problem with understanding any apparent conflict has to do with the word "income" -
it's an IRS trap, not a Scriptural one.
Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob never had a single fiat dollar of 'income.' Yet, without question, they worked hard, provided for their wives and children, and were blessed of Yah.
The 'additional wife' does not diminish the food, clothing, or 'marital blessings' provided to those who came before. That does not mean, as Proverbs 31 makes clear, that wives shouldn't "pull their weight" - better, make a positive contribution, to the house.
And, without question, one of the many strengths of polygyny is "division of labor," and the related fact that the sum really is greater than the parts.
I contend that, now, more than ever in modern history, additional wives are NECESSARY to the success of a family. (Example abound here, from schooling and child care, to keeping the books.)
How can two people, even with a couple of strapping sons, ever hope, for example, to keep a 24 hour watch against the 'zombie hordes'? Much less grow food, harvest it, cook it, change the oil in the tractor, and keep the guns clean?
I was wondering when Isaiah 4:1 would come up... clear indication that the woman can come to the man and gladly provide for self/pull her weight in the equation in order to be covered.. Seems, that would include working if he allowed that.
RemnantResilience
Member
There's a lot of good points here, and I agree I don't think it is an issue scripturally, a woman is supposed to be a help meet. Taking a step back and applying the contextual logic of of the OP's original question, I would put forth if the man was unable to support the household before marrying his first wife, needing to rely on her income after marriage. Was he right in seeking the first wife at all, if qualification is dependent on financial stability/independence? If it wasn't a problem originally, why would it become one now? Instead I would be more concerned about whether his house is in order, allowing for successful integration of the new wife. I could see it becoming an issue if the household is struggling to make ends meet and the new wife would not be helping to alleviate that in some way, but instead be a drain on already sparse resources.
Well said sir
Exodus 21:10 is about fairness between wives, not where the money comes from. Don't neglect your first wife while spoiling the new one with fancy clothes.
The modern mindset is 'making money = work' and 'my money is my money and his money is my money'. Both are unbiblical. The family works together. Not all may draw income but all should work and the man manages the finances, regardless of their source.
Will an additional wife improve or worsen the economic picture? In most cases economies of scale dictate improvement.
Generally yes to the former, no to the later. All are to work, the idea that a man's work is outside the home is a unique cultural artifact of our corportist capitalistic society.
What do you mean?
That is my situation right now, and I am going on week # 6 of NOT being able to work. Before I did a career change we were always a one income home, the only reason Paula is working now is because we empty nesters and she wanted something to do. As she put it I can only clean the house so many times, I gave her my blessing BUT she is not to take on a role that would put her over a man. So I am glad she is working right now.
Amen, the Father knows best, we just need to have faith that the Father will meet those needs.
Yes we need to... KISS
Keep
It
Simple
Silly
When Paula and I met all I had was a job and a room, I definitely did NOT have my ducks in a row. Are they in a row now at going 31 years? Yes I think they are. Are they in a row to take on a second or more?? I hope so. So If I were to take a second this would be my FIRST rodeo.
AMEN!!
Some women just want a sugar daddy.
They seemed to think it was right.
Exactly.
Yes, if there is not order in the home with one, two could either make it or break it.
In sense that she is aware and has acceoted thst husband can't fullfil his duties toward her.
@MemeFan, you are making no sense. The second wife has to agree the husband cannot fulfil his marital duties to her if she wants to marry him? What's the point in marrying him then if he's not going to fulfil his marital duties - what sort of marriage are you even talking about which has no sex, protection or other marital duties?
I am sure I am misunderstanding you. If it's an important point you need to explain it more clearly.
I am sure I am misunderstanding you. If it's an important point you need to explain it more clearly.
What is he is ootential husband is lacking only as provider, but not in anything else? Political dissident in authoritarian regime wouldn't certainly lack in bravery department.
I'm lost, really don't get your point. Don't worry about it.
What I hear you saying is that if a potential husband has problems that prevent him from providing the normal requirements, she can waive her rights to them and still have a marriage.
Possibly even a good one.