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Chasing my (rejection) blues away, without going where the...

Daniel DeLuca

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Male
whiskey drowns and the beer...

It sucks to get rejected! It can get discouraging, whether that rejection happens before or after marriage.

What are some thoughts/activities/Bible verses that have helped those of you who have been rejected, cope with those discouraging feelings?
 
Whiskey and beer are not a bad thing..

Or, Deut. 14:25-26.. '...bind the money in your hand..you may spend the money for... strong drink or whatever your heart desires...'. :D
 
Isaiah 53:3 (KJV)
He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were [our] faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Welcome to the club?

Seriously, rejection is par for the course. Disappointment comes from a loss of expectations. Managing our expectations is the first step in managing disappointments. You are looking for someone who would be a blessing to, and be blessed by, being a member of your family. Not the new love of your life.
It is all too easy to fall into the old romantic ideas, but that right there is where the emotional trap starts. And emotion is where expectations and disappointment are rooted.
 
My heart is calloused at this point, but it refuses to cry uncle. I am rarely actively looking these days, but I remain open to the possibility of expanding our family.

We are now in Texas and will decide on our temporary dwelling (next 18 months) tomorrow. Staying in Lake Worth for 4 nights.

Kristin asserts that, once we are settled in, she is going to being seeking out her next sister wife, but that won't prevent heartache. I do not use liquor for solace, as it simply anesthetizes, burying the feelings with the inevitable result that they pop right back up again later -- and unprocessed. My go-to strategy is to choose to feel the way I feel, thank God for the depths of my feeling, and remind myself that I have been here/there before and have always survived the experience and would never prefer to avoid heartache if it meant not having hope.

Also, given the state of our culture and its near-absolute opposition to polygamy, I take heart in indications that, minus that opposition, my family would likely long ago have been blessed with additional wives, and they blessed with their presence with us. Just during this trip here, I met a woman who was very clearly taken by both Kristin and me, expressing in many ways that we as individuals and what we have together is exactly what she desires for herself. Many complications -- and the buzz-kill presence of our youngest daughter, who will eventually feel the heat of my dragon breath about her comments -- legislated for entirely avoiding even meandering down the path of introducing the mere idea of sharing a husband. But that doesn't stop me from having confidence that, in other circumstances, bonds very well could have been formed, strengthened and sustained.

I believe in forgiving every woman who is blinded by her inability to recognize just how worth it being married to me would be!
 
I believe in forgiving every woman who is blinded by her inability to recognize just how worth it being married to me would be!
Solid gold!
 
I believe in forgiving every woman who is blinded by her inability to recognize just how worth it being married to me would be!
In some instances, I need to figure out how to forgive myself for botching things so bad.
 
In some instances, I need to figure out how to forgive myself for botching things so bad.

Think of the bright side: you are learning and growing! Go forth and do better. The Good Lord has plenty of blessing left to bestow on you.

Let me know if you want to get together for lunch or something. I find myself with a lot of time on my hands these days.
 
Or..... we could all meet in Georgetown, which is not too far from Austin. :)
 
Think of the bright side: you are learning and growing! Go forth and do better. The Good Lord has plenty of blessing left to bestow on you.

Let me know if you want to get together for lunch or something. I find myself with a lot of time on my hands these days.
I hope you like Arby's, because I have a lot of coupons, and I am the only one in our house that likes it. I got other coupons though if that doesn't work for you.
 
Whiskey and beer are not a bad thing..

Or, Deut. 14:25-26.. '...bind the money in your hand..you may spend the money for... strong drink or whatever your heart desires...'. :D
That is only if...

"... that place is too distant and you have been blessed by the Lord your God and cannot carry your tithe (because the place where the Lord will choose to put his Name is so far away)."
 
Think of the bright side: you are learning and growing!
Yeah! Learning from my mistakes. Sure wish I could learn from other people's mistakes, so I don't make them myself! I could probably write a book on what not to do in a relationship.
 
Will Friday @ 2:15 PM work?
 
That is only if...

"... that place is too distant and you have been blessed by the Lord your God and cannot carry your tithe (because the place where the Lord will choose to put his Name is so far away)."
Oh, yeah... that part of the command. Forgot it applies as well...
 
Oh, yeah... that part of the command. Forgot it applies as well...
Except that nowadays, you don't have to carry your tithe with you. You can pay it by credit card. :)
 
Except that nowadays, you don't have to carry your tithe with you. You can pay it by credit card. :)
Are credit card readers the newest accessory to the hymnal rack/communion cup holders?
 
Would love to to see you all down in Austin. We have a guest room. :)
After we get settled in, you can count on being taken up on that invitation!
 
Are credit card readers the newest accessory to the hymnal rack/communion cup holders?
No. It's this new thing they got called "online giving". Of course they also take checks, which you can send to them but you have to have this thing called a "checkbook", and the church sends you these things they call "offering envelopes". They should come with the name of the church printed on the front, and the location of the church, and may also have your name and where you might be located. You will need to find this place called a "post office", where you can purchase these things called "postage stamps", you can then peel one of them off, and affix it to the aforementioned, offering envelope. The aforementioned checkbook has these things called "checks" inside. Now before you can get a checkbook, you need to go to this place commonly referred to as a "bank" or a "credit union". You will need to go there, and take some cash, and give it to someone at the bank. You may need to wait in a line in order to do so. The person you give it to, is usually someone who sits or stands behind a counter, and wears a badge with the emblem of the bank or credit union. Tell them that you want to open up an "account". They will give you a choice as to which type of account that you can choose from. Choose wisely, because some of them have recurring fees. They will give you a set of temporary checks or cheques if you live in the UK, and you can use those. It has a number of entries where you can write the name of the church that you wish to pay your tithe to, and the amount of the tithe in both numeric and word form, put the current date at the top, and sign your name at the bottom of the check. Then you can place the check into the aforementioned offering envelope. The envelope they send you is sealable, so you will want to seal it. Then you take the offering envelope, either to a post office, or you can use this thing called a "mailbox". Some of these mailboxes have a special compartment labelled "outgoing". Others have a flat piece of metal that is shaped like a flag. It swivels, so you will need to ensure that the piece of metal points straight up. You can open that mailbox, insert the offering envelope, and close it.

Another option is to simply go to the church with the offering envelope, no postage stamp is needed for this option, but you will still need to have a check or cash. You won't need the offering envelope for this. Locate a box inside the church, usually wooden or metal, with a slit in or near the top, and a lock on it. There may be a sign above or on it, that says "Offering drop box" or simply "offerings". Simply insert the cash or check (envelope is optional), into the slit.

Important Note: Make sure that amount of money that you give the person at the bank or credit union, is greater than the amount that you write on the check, and be sure to keep track of the amount of money that is given at the bank or credit union, and the amount that is written on the check.

If none of those options are available to you, then I suppose Deut 14:25-26 would apply.

I have transitioned from being a Software Engineer to being a Software QA, and I have to write up these detailed test plans, which have a set of test steps that you have to follow. How am I doing?
 
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