Judging from the fact that my eyes glazed over in the first paragraph, I’d say that you’ve got it nailed.
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Chasing my (rejection) blues away, without going where the...
- Thread starter Daniel DeLuca
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Actually, everything you said before this doesn't apply, but last I checked, Deut. 14 is still part of the everlasting, unchanging Word of God...
I do, however, find it amusing that the church teaches that the OT Law is done away with but they go to great lengths to teach tithing and created ways for you to do it...
Oh! Nice come back!
OK, so somehow this thread got derailed into a thread about tithing.
Still it gets frustrating to think about what I could have done better, and with no future prospects in sight, that gets frustrating as well. What do you guys do to console yourself about that, when you lose out on one potential second, and you don't see another potential second on the horizon?
Still it gets frustrating to think about what I could have done better, and with no future prospects in sight, that gets frustrating as well. What do you guys do to console yourself about that, when you lose out on one potential second, and you don't see another potential second on the horizon?
OK, third for you....or rather potential fourth.
Is it easier to lose out on a potential third or fourth, than it is to lose out on a potential second?
...but is it easier than it would be if you didn't already have two or three?
No, because my heart is for their future. Not my own.
My desire is to build a caring, helping community that is committed to personal growth. This on the way to becoming a team that helps others in the ways that Yah needs us to. Helping others individually now, but as a team in the future.
I don’t want anyone to miss out on that, unless they are called to something higher. In that case, I will celebrate with them.
My desire is to build a caring, helping community that is committed to personal growth. This on the way to becoming a team that helps others in the ways that Yah needs us to. Helping others individually now, but as a team in the future.
I don’t want anyone to miss out on that, unless they are called to something higher. In that case, I will celebrate with them.
Heartache and rejection are real no matter who still is or isn't in your life.
I'm right there with Steve, and not just in the matter of consoling myself about lost potential love: we are overwhelmingly blessed to be children of God, no matter our circumstances, so I give myself room to mourn any loss but expect myself to limit the amount of time that I just brood on that to the general exclusion of everything else -- and what I always quite quickly remind myself to do is to Count My Blessings. If I focus on my blessings, I find it is an impossible task to contemplate any significant portion of them simultaneously, and leaves much less room for feeling sorry for myself.
I also have a caution: if one is musing about whether it would be easier to lose a third or fourth if one already had a second, what I believe one should feel compelled to do instead is contemplate why it is that already having a first wife doesn't make it easier to rebound from failing to latch on with a potential second. If one is wondering where to start with such contemplation, I'd suggest assessing the degree to which one has turned obtaining an additional wife into an accomplishment that will provide some form of personal validation of one's worth. I write this from direct personal experience.
That was very well said @Keith Martin.
You have one wife already @Daniel DeLuca, and from the interaction we have had with her she seems to be a great blessing for you. You will also have many other things in your life that God has blessed you with. As @steve said, this is not a numbers game. It's not about polygamy. It's not even about marriage. It's about serving our King - finding His instructions for our life, and following those. If that includes multiple wives, great - although if it includes only one wife, that's great also. There are circumstances where polygamy is a blessing, and circumstances where it could better be described as a curse - I'm sure people can think of or imagine examples without me having to give any. Losing a prospect could be God's way of saving you from enormous grief, that you simply didn't foresee. Or maybe you've lost something amazingly wonderful. Honestly, you can't know. But trust God and move forward, focussing on what you do have rather than what you don't have.
If your personal goal is to obtain multiple wives, it may be that God's plan is to break that personal goal of yours. To put you through disappointment after disappointment for as long as it takes until you give up. Until you stop seeking this goal for yourself, and are truly, genuinely open to whatever He has planned for you, whether or not that includes polygamy ever. Your goal becomes finding and obeying His desires, not seeking your own. Maybe it is only once you are completely broken and willing to be completely unresisting clay in His hands that He will be able to fully mould you into the man He intends for you to be.
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The pain seems to be from the loss of a dream that you could have sworn God placed in you, as apposed to losing a woman while you already had the best one He has already given you.
I guess for me, the hardest part is the yearning to be able to prove what I believe to be true, which is that I can love two women at the same time, and where this moves from being theoretical into reality. I know that is true for a lot of you men as well.
Yesterday our pastor preached from I Chronicles 4:9-10 (prayer of Jabez), and it was an awesome message! I would almost be inclined to add this to the thread that I created about Making Progress on the Church Acceptance Front, because he brought up Jacob, saying that he went into the "witness protection program", and that when he returned to face his brother Easu, he had two wives and 11 children, and the pastor left it at that! This is the first time in my recollection that I have ever heard a pastor bring up polygamy without including a negative remark about it. Of course he shortchanged Jacob by two wives (how did those other four chiildren come to be?), but I had to crack a big smile to hear him mention polygamy without a negtive connotation being attached to it. It was all in the context of Jacob's territory being enlarged, and ultimately how he wrestled with the angel of the Lord in order to receive a blessing.
Yesterday our pastor preached from I Chronicles 4:9-10 (prayer of Jabez), and it was an awesome message! I would almost be inclined to add this to the thread that I created about Making Progress on the Church Acceptance Front, because he brought up Jacob, saying that he went into the "witness protection program", and that when he returned to face his brother Easu, he had two wives and 11 children, and the pastor left it at that! This is the first time in my recollection that I have ever heard a pastor bring up polygamy without including a negative remark about it. Of course he shortchanged Jacob by two wives (how did those other four chiildren come to be?), but I had to crack a big smile to hear him mention polygamy without a negtive connotation being attached to it. It was all in the context of Jacob's territory being enlarged, and ultimately how he wrestled with the angel of the Lord in order to receive a blessing.
Why do you have to prove anything to anyone? God knows your heart, what else matters?
Yearning, is a desire, not necessarily a necessity, but it is that which the Proverbs says, maketh the heart sick. Proverbs 13:12
About a month ago, I had a strange experience. I had this strong feeling like when you really miss someone, except the person that I felt like I missed was a second woman. It wasn’t like wanting a second, it was like missing someone you love who has been away for a long time. It felt really odd to miss someone and not know who it is, lol. Anyway, I just prayed for whoever that person may be and asked The Father to be with her and watch over her. Never had that happen before... what a weird feeling.
You just did a great job of putting into words something I've been experiencing for decades. Missing someone and not knowing who she is or even where she is, other than sometimes to be encountered in my dreams. I know her every time I contemplate her, but, as far as I know, I have never actually met her. More accurately, it's more than one person, but the other one is akin to a shapeshifter and takes on significant characteristics of women I have actually known and lost who possess significant characteristics that would make them excellent sister wives.
This sense has, for me, been associated with my gravitating toward wanting a plural family as far back as to before I was an adult.
Thank you for articulating this, @Asforme&myhouse.
I also know just what you're talking about.
That’s funny I wanted a plural family before I was an adult also. I always wished I had more siblings when i was growing up and the big plural families in scripture seemed really neat to me. My parents were very diligent in reading the Bible to me and my siblings. Of course I was told that it was sinful now and so I never contemplated actually having a plural family of my own, but I was always drawn to it.