• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Meat Divorce license but no Marriage license

MeganC said:
Good. If you want to claim the mantle of a Man then you have to be able to act like one. And you just did. My respect for you just went up a couple notches. ;)

You're also wrong. :)

I was very much a whore when I bedded down with the man who became my husband. In my heart it felt wrong, I had massive misgivings, I was doing it for very selfish and immature reasons, I did not love him and he was not in love with me either.

Love came in time and so did the marriage. It was a process that took place over time. But at the outset I felt like a whore, I called myself a concubine and a baby factory, and I almost never said I'd married my husband. I would say that I had joined my family. That's still an accurate description of my feelings from back then.

In the end it was not wrong because I had very fortunately been blessed not just with a good man but with a man who was equipped to make me own up to the commitment I had made to him. It was not easy those first few years because I had to learn what it meant to be a wife and a mother. Meanwhile he made sure I understood what he expected from me as his wife and the mother of his children.

In retrospect do I think I was a whore? Yep. Because that was what was in my heart. I was using Steve for my own selfish needs and desires.
Click to expand...

I don't know your story that well, out of curiosity, and feel free not to answer if it's too personal, but what were the selfish and immature reasons?
 
The Revolting Man said:
By the by, the silence around here lately has been deafening. There are so many unanswered propositions on the table that I’m starting to think all of our alleged theologians are only here for the memes and sex monkeys.
Click to expand...
Proverbs 10:19 comes to mind; In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise.
 
MeganC said:
Good. If you want to claim the mantle of a Man then you have to be able to act like one. And you just did. My respect for you just went up a couple notches. ;)

You're also wrong. :)

I was very much a whore when I bedded down with the man who became my husband. In my heart it felt wrong, I had massive misgivings, I was doing it for very selfish and immature reasons, I did not love him and he was not in love with me either.

Love came in time and so did the marriage. It was a process that took place over time. But at the outset I felt like a whore, I called myself a concubine and a baby factory, and I almost never said I'd married my husband. I would say that I had joined my family. That's still an accurate description of my feelings from back then.

In the end it was not wrong because I had very fortunately been blessed not just with a good man but with a man who was equipped to make me own up to the commitment I had made to him. It was not easy those first few years because I had to learn what it meant to be a wife and a mother. Meanwhile he made sure I understood what he expected from me as his wife and the mother of his children.

In retrospect do I think I was a whore? Yep. Because that was what was in my heart. I was using Steve for my own selfish needs and desires.
Click to expand...

Okay, I talked to Maggie and told me you have been married since you have been 18 to the same Man/Husband. If this is the case there is Absolutely No Sin, you have felt like you had been sinning but I'm here to tell you your wrong. Love should be in Marriage but is not required for it to me a Marriage and be Blessed by G-d. So now I can easily Proclaim you as Definitely not a Whore! I also Pray this clears this up for you because you are Spotless in this Area and that is my Honest Opinion!
 
Last edited:
The Revolting Man said:
It occurred to me recently that there is a mandated document related to marriage, the divorce papers.

If a man is divorcing his wife the. The scriptures require him to give her a document declaring so.

It seems then that if something surrounding marriage requires a document then scripture is willing and able to say so.

Why then are we not told about a need for such a thing in order to form a marriage?
Click to expand...

There are two things around the forming, one implied and one stated.

Deuteronomy 22:17 "And now he has accused her of shameful conduct, saying, 'I discovered that your daughter was not a virgin.' But here is the proof of her virginity." And they shall spread out the cloth before the city elders."

That's the stated, for the implied...

Exodus 22:16 "If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged in marriage and sleeps with her, he must pay the full dowry for her to be his wife."

The exchange of money in business frequently involves contracts stipulating terms. In the ancient world well before the writing of this there were laws / contracts related to the disposition of dowry and bride-price money (e.g. as an inheritance to her later, or it's disposition should he divorce her). The common use of dowry doesn't necessarily mean there was a marital contract, but such was common.

Another way to look at it is this: possession is 9/10ths of the law. The father has her, gets's his money and then the man has her. The only issue comes up when she is on her own; the divorce papers serve as proof / verification that she has the right to remarry so that future suitors can verify they're not about to commit adultery with a run-away. This is only a possible explanation; I'm not aware that the why's are explained in this matter (as they often are not in with many laws).
 
DustinM said:
I don't know your story that well, out of curiosity, and feel free not to answer if it's too personal, but what were the selfish and immature reasons?
Click to expand...

I was raped at 16 by my meth-head father, my meth-head mother blamed me for promptly calling the police on him, and that screwed me up quite a bit as if being somewhat autistic wasn't bad enough on its own. In the aftermath of that event I ended up with some skewed ideas relative to societal norms.

I ended up obsessing over the desire to have a baby and I was also desperate to get the hell away from my mother. For obvious reasons I had deep trust issues concerning men and did not want to be alone with a man. I discovered poly and when I turned 18 my mother got me a computer (which she likely stole) and I started looking into poly.

When I met my family I was thrilled about having a stable home, I would get to have the baby I wanted because they wanted that too, and at that time the man who would be providing all of this to me was little more than a piece of talking furniture to my perception. I very selfishly wanted him to provide me with my wants and needs while giving him almost no consideration at all.

Everyone involved told me precisely what I was getting in to and some of them tried to talk me out of it. I went ahead anyway.

To be fair to myself, my decision was a mix of narcissism, selfishness, naiveté, and stark pragmatism.

Fortunately it worked out well. My husband appreciated me ( :cool: ) and grew to like how I would channel my OCD into positive things like learning to cook, learning to ride horses, and etc. I learned to love and appreciate him for his wisdom and for leading me to be more of a person that I was before he met me. I would not be who I am today without his support and frequent insistence that I could succeed at things.

He has always lifted me up and with certain exceptions ;) has never held me down.

My relationship with him at the start was an epiphany because I discovered he was a very real person and that when I had agreed to marry him and have his children he was going to hold me to that agreement. Or I could leave.

Truly, I never had to grow up until I met my husband and he gave me no choice in the matter.
 
MeganC said:
I was raped at 16 by my meth-head father, my meth-head mother blamed me for promptly calling the police on him, and that screwed me up quite a bit as if being somewhat autistic wasn't bad enough on its own. In the aftermath of that event I ended up with some skewed ideas relative to societal norms.

I ended up obsessing over the desire to have a baby and I was also desperate to get the hell away from my mother. For obvious reasons I had deep trust issues concerning men and did not want to be alone with a man. I discovered poly and when I turned 18 my mother got me a computer (which she likely stole) and I started looking into poly.

When I met my family I was thrilled about having a stable home, I would get to have the baby I wanted because they wanted that too, and at that time the man who would be providing all of this to me was little more than a piece of talking furniture to my perception. I very selfishly wanted him to provide me with my wants and needs while giving him almost no consideration at all.

Everyone involved told me precisely what I was getting in to and some of them tried to talk me out of it. I went ahead anyway.

To be fair to myself, my decision was a mix of narcissism, selfishness, naiveté, and stark pragmatism.

Fortunately it worked out well. My husband appreciated me ( :cool: ) and grew to like how I would channel my OCD into positive things like learning to cook, learning to ride horses, and etc. I learned to love and appreciate him for his wisdom and for leading me to be more of a person that I was before he met me. I would not be who I am today without his support and frequent insistence that I could succeed at things.

He has always lifted me up and with certain exceptions ;) has never held me down.

My relationship with him at the start was an epiphany because I discovered he was a very real person and that when I had agreed to marry him and have his children he was going to hold me to that agreement. Or I could leave.

Truly, I never had to grow up until I met my husband and he gave me no choice in the matter.
Click to expand...

MeganC, I am so sorry you had a hard life. I too had a very hard life, but as G-d tells us if it don't Kill us it will make us Stronger.
You have nothing to be ashamed as you Married and your Husband took The Fatherly Path and Made you a Woman.

Believe it or not that is mostly what happened more than not, Men in their 20. 30, 40 and Up Married (Took or Given) a Wife (13+/-)
and She was not a Grown-Up she most likely needed her New Husband to Take Fatherly Actions to help her Grow-Up as well.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top