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Getting through the closeminded parts of accepting PM

Curtis Gerhart said:
Mikki,
For me, a guy, and most other guys are vertical thinkers. We do #1 on the list, #2, #3, . . . Do not ask a man to do #3 while he is doing #1. Brain lock up. Women think horizontally. Dinner, career, children, shopping, etc all at one time. Or another example; men and women all have rooms in our brains. Men go in a room and close the door. They have no doors open, but to exit and enter said room. Women on the other hand, LEAVE EVERY DOOR OPEN!! While I'm in the leaky faucet room Do Not open the door to the leaky faucet room and open up the door to flat tire room. Brain lock up. Both are normal and for God's glory. I esplain this soes use can understand (Godfather accent here). You cannot open up his mind until other things are at least not a distraction. He just thinks different. Not wrong just different. To open up his mind or understanding get several books about the subject you wish to SHARE with him. First, if real Love isn't your only motive it has a good chance of closing that door. A book like "The Great Ommision," by Clyde L. Pilkington, Jr. is a good one. You read it too! There are many more. Be patient, men tend to be creatures most led by logic and not emotions. Encourage, but don't push. You'll be fine. You already have the difficult part accomplished. YOU! Not that there won't be struggles, hurts, etc. you'll get there with Love❣️❣️
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Thank you. That helps me alot
 
Mikki G. said:
Thank you. That helps me alot
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You are welcome Sis. Maybe get some books on understanding men. Just knowing (and being cognitive) that they think, act, and react differently will be a big help. Also, that PM can be a greater responsibility for him and more of a benefit to the first wife. Of course if Real Love (God's) is the foundation. Bless you Sis and your husband. If he needs a brother to ask there are many here that will Lovingly help him along the Way.
 
Curtis Gerhart said:
You are welcome Sis. Maybe get some books on understanding men. Just knowing (and being cognitive) that they think, act, and react differently will be a big help. Also, that PM can be a greater responsibility for him and more of a benefit to the first wife. Of course if Real Love (God's) is the foundation. Bless you Sis and your husband. If he needs a brother to ask there are many here that will Lovingly help him along the Way.
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Thank you. I'm thinking about reading a few books. Right now I'm reading "The Five Love Languages" book. I love this book alot
 
Even though most people i know think these books are monogamous focus Wild at Heart and Captivating by John Eldredge are good books for understanding the differences of heart that God gave men and women. Wild at heart is actually the book I was reading when my perspective about PM changed.
 
Kevin said:
Even though most people i know think these books are monogamous focus Wild at Heart and Captivating by John Eldredge are good books for understanding the differences of heart that God gave men and women. Wild at heart is actually the book I was reading when my perspective about PM changed.
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Hmm never heard of those books
 
Anytime
 
Kevin said:
Even though most people i know think these books are monogamous focus Wild at Heart and Captivating by John Eldredge are good books for understanding the differences of heart that God gave men and women. Wild at heart is actually the book I was reading when my perspective about PM changed.
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Check out Kingdom Men by Tony Evans.
 
I'm guessing that pointing out that he would be sleeping with two women is too low brow? The high minded approach is admirable and scripture study and hard nosed, clear eyed thinking is important but there's nothing wrong with adding some milk and sugar to your oatmeal.

I'm mean we're talking about convincing a man of the efficacy of two wives. This ain't ice boxes and eskimoes.
 
Mikki G. said:
Can I ask how you guys get through the closeminded parts of accepting PM. My husband is an amazing man but doesn't support PM but supports me. I want to be the wife that he needs me to be. I am where I feel God needs me and it's great. How do I at least open up his mind to PM. Or at least give him some understanding of it.
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Not all are called to it. I do not think you should try to talk him into doing someething that he does not want to do, or is not led to do.

You can prepare yourself for it. You can become knowledgable about it. You can let him know that you are open to it if that were a direction that he was interested in, but I would not recommend nagging him about it. A word to the wise is sufficient and all of that.
 
My wife and I started the discussion after watching episodes of the TV show "Big Love". The TV show is mormon polygamy, but for the most part I enjoyed the show and it got the conversation started. From there I went to study it for myself in the Bible and reading various sites online.
 
cnystrom said:
Not all are called to it. I do not think you should try to talk him into doing someething that he does not want to do, or is not led to do.

You can prepare yourself for it. You can become knowledgable about it. You can let him know that you are open to it if that were a direction that he was interested in, but I would not recommend nagging him about it. A word to the wise is sufficient and all of that.
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I never said I would make him
 
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