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Goin' Live

Keith Martin said:
Kudos to you, @Daniel DeLuca, for taking the bull by the horn to create a dating site that fits in with your vision of what kind of matches would be acceptable in your eyes.

I happen to personally agree with @FollowingHim in regard to your choice to exclude divorced women, but it is your site, and therefore it is your freedom to choose who you want your patrons to be.

I'm also thankful for and impressed by @FollowingHim's level of detail in regard to the coding advice he's been giving you. I concur with him about the efficacy of purchasing preconfigured dating-site software that you can adjust to your specifics. You have better things to do with your time, and I suspect that, if you put the word out that you need some funding for it after you determine its price, brothers who share your vision of what the clientele for the site should be will be more than willing to toss you some investment money. I know I would be.

I won't be signing up, but only because I am unwilling to restrict myself from marrying women who have been divorced. At the same time, I do sincerely support your choice to tackle the difficulties of managing that can of worms, as @FollowingHim referred to it, because you are always consistent in your position that divorced women are off-limits to those whom you believe are following the proper dictates of Scripture.
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Thank you. Ultimately, following the dictates of Scripture, is what ought to guide all of our decisions in life.
 
FollowingHim said:
Another situation you are failing to consider @Daniel DeLuca is that of the unjustly divorced woman - the woman who never wanted divorce, but whose husband has chosen to abandon her, and who has very clearly shown through both actions and time that there is zero chance of her ever reconciling with him. Is such a woman to be excluded?
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Yeah, in fact Jesus said that it is those men, who cause their wives to commit adultery, so I don't blame the women whose husbands unjustly divorced them. We have a few of them here on this site, and I know that men who have no issue with taking them to be their second or third, are here, so I don't see myself filling a void, if I were to include them. My preference would be for the husband who is responsible for this situation, to first be forewarned that there are serious consequences, either in this life or the life to come, for his refusal to take his wife back.

Now, bear in mind that even if you personally think that such a woman is not an option for you personally, I trust you can recognise that this (like some of the other situations I mentioned earlier) is a grey area, and other men may choose to marry such a woman. Are those men welcome?
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Those men are of course welcome to seek out women who are not divorced, but that is entirely up to them, and it is entirely possible that a divorced woman might slip through the cracks and end up marrying them, but I won't have a guilty conscience over the matter.

The fundamental problem with this is that it makes the website seem like the work of one man, with only women who that one man would consider as options for him to personally marry being permitted. No scope for women who he may not be interested in, but other men may. This makes it come across as one man's way of fishing for his own wife, and not a service truly aimed at blessing the wider Church. I'm not accusing you of having this sole intention, I am being honest with you and saying this is how it looks. It's seriously offputting and makes it not attractive to sign up to.
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So be it. I cannot concern myself with how the website seems. I put the topic in as a Vent your rage item, so that it can be discussed. The America's Biblical Polygyny FB group was so off-put with my stance that one of the Admins blocked me on that page for two weeks. I got a number of likes from others in the group, when I took that stance.

If another polygamy dating website pops up that welcomes divorced women, I will have to change my tagline to reflect that mine is not the only one out there. Some people have no qualms about going to a Muslim run site to find a second or third wife. I want to have a site for people who believe in doing this in accordance to what the Bible teaches. I recognize that others are out there who believe that Scripture teaches differently. If any of them are open to marrying divorcees, I don't believe they will have too much difficulty finding them in different polygamy forums.
 
Gary Slaughenhaupt said:
Are you setup to access the PHP backend so you can fix and customize the logic?
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I haven't been able to do that yet. Many many years ago, I created a website that used PHP and cgi, but it didn't use WordPress. It was much easier for me to deal with getting the site to do what I wanted it to do, although I did not have any tools to work with. I used Microsoft Front page to get the look and feel, and Edited the source, because the Hosting provider provided the means for me to upload HTML, PHP, and .cgi files. I am not seeing that with what I am working with right now. I do want to get experience with working with WP though, because there are a ton of freelance jobs out there that are asking for experience with that technology, and I would love to be able to bring in the extra income.
 
I see nothing wrong with a matchmaking website that caters to a particular country or to those matches which are consistent with a given moral framework. His effort doesn't have to fit my sensibilities. And I've seen how well the come one come all approach works; maybe something more tailored is appropriate.
 
Daniel DeLuca said:
I haven't been able to do that yet. Many many years ago, I created a website that used PHP and cgi, but it didn't use WordPress. It was much easier for me to deal with getting the site to do what I wanted it to do, although I did not have any tools to work with. I used Microsoft Front page to get the look and feel, and Edited the source, because the Hosting provider provided the means for me to upload HTML, PHP, and .cgi files. I am not seeing that with what I am working with right now. I do want to get experience with working with WP though, because there are a ton of freelance jobs out there that are asking for experience with that technology, and I would love to be able to bring in the extra income.
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Oh, When I did it I just had the WordPress PHP source code. Maybe they don't do that anymore.
 
Well, well, well! I found a Plugin that might be just what I need...WP File Manager.
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Not so fast. I've got a bit of a learning curve to figure what php files I need to edit in order to make it do what I want it to do.
 
I had a major breakthrough today! I found a plugin that allows me to use PHP snippets. What does this mean to you? It means that when you sign up for your account, the information you enter into the Database, can now be displayed when you login to your account. In essence, now your account will be personalized, and pretty soon, you will be able to make changes to your account, if and when you need to. I will soon be able to perform queries that will help you search for potential marriage candidates as well, which is the whole point of a dating website.

I also figured out how to set up an image upload, but don't get too excited about that yet. You can upload your profile pic, but I haven't figured out how to associate your photo with the account, yet.

I have other issues that need to get cleaned up as well, but this was a major blocking issue that I have finally overcome.
 
Oh yes! I forgot to mention, and @FollowingHim , you will be glad to see this; I figured out how to do Countries, so this will not be restricted to North America. The Registration Magic Plugin has a Country Selector that makes it real easy to add whichever country is out there. Dirty little secret though, is if you select the USA or Canada, you can also select a state or province or territory, but you won't even see those options if you choose a different country :p.
 
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Spent some late nights workin' on this, but now you can upload 1 photo, and it will display on your welcome page. If you want to show more than one photo, you will have to make a collage and submit it as one photo. If you try to submit a second photo, it will overwrite the first one.
 
I was able to get a lot more work done on this, this past weekend. You can now change most of the things in your profile, and now, you can view potential matches. I haven't had any ladies sign up yet though. If you browse for a potential match, the only ladies you will see, are dummy test accounts.

I have to set up the throttle though for the ladies, so they won't get overwhelmed with 50 potential candidates. Also, I need to set up the one where you can see who out there has expressed interest in you, and I want to set up a way that you can communicate back and forth with this potential someone, and then thumb up or thumb down.

My plan is to set it up such that if someone reaches zero on your scale of 1 to 10, they go away, and you will once again be visible in the Browse section, if you have gone below your threshold. Guys will have to jump fast, because once a woman has reached her threshold, you won't be able to browse for her, or Express Interest. Also, I want to make sure that if you get thumbed out, you can't go back in and harass whoever thumbed you out, unless they decide on their own to thumb you back in, but I 'm not sure how I will go about doing that.

I set up a table with His interest level and Her interest level, and the gender that is expressing interest. When say a man expresses interest in a woman, his interest level will be 2 and hers 1, and it will indicate that it is the male expressing interest. Vice versa, if a woman expresses interest, hers will be set to 2, and his will be set to 1. I want to make the interest level visible, so that you always know where you stand, with a person, and you can back off, if you see that you are getting dangerously close to getting dumped.

I am also thinking about setting it up so you can see if the potential match has others they are interested in as well, and how seriously involved they are with others, without disclosing whom they are interested in. I know a lot of men feel awkward about getting involved with a woman who is serious with other men. I am not completely sure I want to add this, and if I do, it will not be implemented until I figure out how to implement some of these other features.

The cool thing is, I have figured out how to get past a lot of these technical challenges that I was encountering, so that was half the battle. Progress will now be somewhat accelerated, depending of course on how much free time I have on my hands, and also how much interruption I get from the electricity and internet service, as the Arctic blast that we have been experiencing lately, has knocked out power for much of the day, and even when the electricity is on, the ISP has not been connecting to our router.
 
I like your novel thinking on the mechanisms of this. Maybe if you come up with something that works and is better than what is already out there, you could open-source it for other developers to use on their sites. I'm sure there would be other people interested in open-source dating app software, for different purposes, and you'd then be able to leverage the time and effort of others to feed back into the functionality of your own site. Of course you'd also be enabling others to use your time and effort for different purposes.
 
Yeah! I have always seen the Open Source community as a sort of freeloading enterprise. They don't really care about the quality of the product they produce. Their assumption is that we are the testing community, which is stupid. It makes their stuff completely unreliable. Then they turn around and blame corporations for not paying for the "free" software, that comes with all kinds of restrictions, if you actually use the software. We had to deal with this at Dell, because there was one library, and there was an issue with it, and they wouldn't patch it. Instead they told us to download the latest, which was not backward compatible, and required a whole slew of changes to our firmware.

A lot of the developers are from Germany and the Nordic region, where they sponge off the government, while the US taxpayer pays to keep our military presence over there. Then of course, they build up all this renown for having built a part of this Opensource conglomerate, which helps them land nice jobs, while those of us who actually have to work for a living, don't have the free time on our hands to make hay in the Open source community. They aren't necessarily the brightest in the software community, but when you don't have to actually work for a living, you can take that free government education that you get, and make yourself look pretty good. Those of us who work on proprietary stuff, have to work harder to sell ourselves to prospective employers.

If anyone wants to pay me to do work for them, or to get a license to use the work I have done, I will contemplate allowing them to do so, while I work on setting up my own restrictions on how they can use it.

(Dismounting from my soap box).
 
Full disclosure here:

If you sign up for an account, your email is stored on the server database, unencrypted. I hope I have earned the trust of everyone to not divulge and/or abuse that information. If however anyone is concerned about disclosing that to a perfect stranger, you might want to consider creating a new personal email that you can then submit. We (as in I myself) want to have the email, in the event that you forget your password, I can send you a reset link. I am not interested in using that email myself, unless I need to communicate with a user that their behavior is unacceptable or they are not eligible to use the service. If I can come up with a way to hide that information, I will incorporate that into the website.
 
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