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Hello From the Tip o' the Mitt

steve said:
Welcome to the club. 😁
It took my wife 3 years to settle into the understanding.
🙏🙏
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I liked the idea from the start....but it took 20 years for my sisterwife to arrive.

Just be patient and let God lead. It is a lot for a modern wife to wrap her mind around. Going to retreats where she can meet families living that way....and other people open to it that are normal and even likable might help.
 
Welcome.
 
crsivils said:
Thanks for the input, guys, but I believe this was the right course of action. What I have written to her was more along the lines of an epistle, I guess. It was very much "meeting her where she's at", taking into account her feelings and things we've talked about before. It was as personal as could be.

I'm a natural writer, she's a natural reader. I'm a natural listener, she's a natural talker. It was beneficial for me to collect and organize my thoughts for adequate presentation, and it will be good for her to read all of them without jumping to conclusions or interjecting.

Besides, as I said, this is not the first time bringing it up to her, and I'm sure there will be PLENTY of discussion to follow.
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In addition, she is able to reflect on what was read and possibly reread . Rereading material alone, at different times of the day, on empty stomach or full, rested or tired, can all contribute to further future dialogue . It allows a person, to take the information in at their own pace and amount.
The emotions have a chance to cooperate, meshing with the intuition and intellect, without the interference of additional stimuli.
Write on Sir, as each household love languages is personal and intimately understood by the dwellers only.
 
Welcome. I am in same position with you. my wife does not agree with me but advice and fellowship with Biblical families have helped me to stay true to self evident rights and responsibilities given by God through Scripture. I am surprised that my wife is still with me even after I told her that I am searching for additional wive(s). Of course that can change, but I have peace about it. I am looking at both outcomes as win win situations. At the same I made it my goal to show her that I love her.
 
I spent about 2 years trying to convince my wife to be on board, even studying scripture and showing her that it is not a sin. She even saw the scriptures and knew it wasn't a sin and agreed it is acceptable but never still got on board.

It wasn't until later when she was reading scripture,(I don't remember which scripture) and pondering on the relationship with wives with each other and started to see that they would of been very close to each other too in healthy scenarios and that most likely it wasn't a lifeless corporate style contract situation with competition and un happiness. Women are naturally more social than us men. they do everything together, their periods sync, they go to the bathroom together, they breastfeed each others babies, they midwife for each other for births, they need constant affirmation from each other on what shoes to wear that day from eachother and etc lol. So her realizing that it would be an actual friend and someone to care for as well to be someone on the team seemed to click a lot more than me droning on about how it is not a sin and trying to give her a "corporate style" lecture to be on board.

I think as a man it really didn't click with me on close social bond scenario for the wives as well. I was focusing too much on logistics. Us men are pretty good at overall building and logistics of things but tend to forget the love and full of life aspect of it. which in all reality is a bit of self focused selfishness in my opinion. I had to even think back on when my circle of guy friends when one of them would get all the sudden enamored with some stupid MLM(multi level marketing) nonsense and tricked me into conference calls trying to convince me that I need to sign up and that it would be good for me. It was pushed on me and at the end of the day he had lost the love aspect of the friendship and was just trying to further his financial gain.

At the end of the day it is something for self examination on both parts. This world is filled with lots of examples of toxic monogamy marriages enough that most can't even know or realize the proper life filled scenario of a polygny marriage. that in my opinion is on of the reason why it is fraught with uncertainty and fear.
 
Torahobservantmmck86 said:
So her realizing that it would be an actual friend and someone to care for as well to be someone on the team seemed to click a lot more
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That was the idea that appealed to me. It's a good reality too!
 
crsivils said:
But alas, my work has only just begun. Please pray for me and my family, as I am about to deliver my 21-page "this is why polygyny is biblical" document to my first (and only) wife of 9 years. We have debated this topic before when I felt the Spirit's leading in this way, but I was not studied enough to back up my desires with scripture, and she was not open-minded enough to even consider it as a possibility. She has a history of mistreatment at the hands of her parents, so there are a lot of scars and trauma to work through.
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Update for all of you following my story - We are studying polygyny together!

I'm trying not to gush and brag about my woman, but... she is so wise and wonderful! Even though she was hurt by the very subject, she has been able to see through her pain and examine everything biblically. She can see through her social conditioning to understand how the Christian mind has been poisoned against the thought of it. Even though she has trauma trying to hold her back in a state of defensiveness, she can see through her emotions and is actually trying to think logically.

There were some rocks and bumps in the initial talk, and we both said some things that we regret. But now, things are going very well, and even better than I expected. She has great faith and a heart of gold! She can see the spiritual significance of polygyny, and the social and economic benefits as well. We are now working together to understand what this lifestyle would entail for us and for our lives. There are still a lot of emotional and logistical hurdles to cover, but I no longer have any doubt that she will follow me down the right path.

Praise God and thank you for your prayers everyone!
 
crsivils said:
Update for all of you following my story - We are studying polygyny together!

I'm trying not to gush and brag about my woman, but... she is so wise and wonderful! Even though she was hurt by the very subject, she has been able to see through her pain and examine everything biblically. She can see through her social conditioning to understand how the Christian mind has been poisoned against the thought of it. Even though she has trauma trying to hold her back in a state of defensiveness, she can see through her emotions and is actually trying to think logically.

There were some rocks and bumps in the initial talk, and we both said some things that we regret. But now, things are going very well, and even better than I expected. She has great faith and a heart of gold! She can see the spiritual significance of polygyny, and the social and economic benefits as well. We are now working together to understand what this lifestyle would entail for us and for our lives. There are still a lot of emotional and logistical hurdles to cover, but I no longer have any doubt that she will follow me down the right path.

Praise God and thank you for your prayers everyone!
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Awesome and very encouraging news! Thanks for sharing.
 
crsivils said:
Update for all of you following my story - We are studying polygyny together!

I'm trying not to gush and brag about my woman, but... she is so wise and wonderful! Even though she was hurt by the very subject, she has been able to see through her pain and examine everything biblically. She can see through her social conditioning to understand how the Christian mind has been poisoned against the thought of it. Even though she has trauma trying to hold her back in a state of defensiveness, she can see through her emotions and is actually trying to think logically.

There were some rocks and bumps in the initial talk, and we both said some things that we regret. But now, things are going very well, and even better than I expected. She has great faith and a heart of gold! She can see the spiritual significance of polygyny, and the social and economic benefits as well. We are now working together to understand what this lifestyle would entail for us and for our lives. There are still a lot of emotional and logistical hurdles to cover, but I no longer have any doubt that she will follow me down the right path.

Praise God and thank you for your prayers everyone!
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Very happy to hear such a good report. May you continue to lead well and pray for her as she walks this strange new path in her mind and heart.
 
crsivils said:
I timidly approach the keyboard to write this intro, but... *sigh* the time has come. I'm new to this, so please excuse the apprehension!

My name is Charlie, and I've recently come to a more full knowledge of the Truth of Biblical marriage, thanks mostly to the plethora of knowledge and insight offered by brother Pete Rambo! It feels so good to be embracing this side of my life, as I have dreamed about and pondered this lifestyle for many years, not knowing then that it was quite literally endorsed by God!

But alas, my work has only just begun. Please pray for me and my family, as I am about to deliver my 21-page "this is why polygyny is biblical" document to my first (and only) wife of 9 years. We have debated this topic before when I felt the Spirit's leading in this way, but I was not studied enough to back up my desires with scripture, and she was not open-minded enough to even consider it as a possibility. She has a history of mistreatment at the hands of her parents, so there are a lot of scars and trauma to work through.

But I see now what I must do as a man of God in training, and I boldly step into the Truth and choose to lead my family in the ways of Messiah. I'm not sure I am prepared for the battle ahead of me, but this is where God has planted my feet, so this is where I must take a stand.

PS. - In spite of her past, my wife is an honest and trustworthy person, having already a passion for the Truth of God's Word. I anticipate that she will eventually see past her monogamy brainwashing and embrace the Truth as I have, but it will likely be after a painful period of heartache and angst. Prayers for her would be much appreciated! 💙
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I will definitely pray. I took the same approach as you are and I believe my Bible study was 21 pages long too. That's amazing!

I will pray that the results you have will be at least as good as mine were.

Welcome to the website.
 
crsivils said:
Update for all of you following my story - We are studying polygyny together!

I'm trying not to gush and brag about my woman, but... she is so wise and wonderful! Even though she was hurt by the very subject, she has been able to see through her pain and examine everything biblically. She can see through her social conditioning to understand how the Christian mind has been poisoned against the thought of it. Even though she has trauma trying to hold her back in a state of defensiveness, she can see through her emotions and is actually trying to think logically.

There were some rocks and bumps in the initial talk, and we both said some things that we regret. But now, things are going very well, and even better than I expected. She has great faith and a heart of gold! She can see the spiritual significance of polygyny, and the social and economic benefits as well. We are now working together to understand what this lifestyle would entail for us and for our lives. There are still a lot of emotional and logistical hurdles to cover, but I no longer have any doubt that she will follow me down the right path.

Praise God and thank you for your prayers everyone!
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PRAISE THE LORD!! That is wonderful news indeed.
 
Hey guys, this is Miriam, Charlie’s (Crsivils) wife. I don’t have much to say right now and I don’t want to take over his post, but reading through all the comments again has been encouraging to me and I just want to thank you all for your prayers. It’s gonna be a long road for me, but I know that if I leave it in God’s hands, everything will be fine.
 
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