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How did you come to understand about Polygamy?

I would wager (I don't think there's statistics for this) that most people out there in the US culture, me included, were probably introduced to the concept of western polygamy (meaning not foreign, islamic, whatnot) by the occasional FLDS scandal news story (e.g. Warren Jeffs), and certainly by the popular polygamous TV shows most people have watched (Big Love, Sisterwives, couple other big ones). I mean, I grew up Baptist Christian and stuck to my faith, went to church often enough (not as often as some, but more than many out there), but literally nobody ever mentioned polygamy, never heard a sermon about it in church, nobody ever talked about it, definitely a super-taboo subject in mainstream Christianity. And I thought it was so forbidden (more of an Islamic, pagan concept) that I never bothered to ask anyone.

So I didn't find out in a dream or divine revelation unfortunately, my path here was far more mundane and average as stated above, and I will admit with a tinge of embarrassment that neither was it some noble pursuit of God's true path, but rather for many years all through my 20s it was sort of a personal sex fantasy to be with more than one woman in marriage (I mean not just a one-night threesome, but I would often imagine having a whole life with multiple women, many children, a house, family prayer the whole bit, I kid you not. These were the most wholesome fantasies you could imagine haha, seriously, white picket fence and all, none of them were "dirty" to me at all), except that it was a sort of a sinful guilty secret, or so I thought. So i lived with that sin quite a long time, but I kept imagining it, I couldn't help it. It was morally conflicting at times being a Christian and running it over and over in my head that I knew it was wrong, and yet sometimes inescapably exhilarating in a "guilty thrill" kind of way, because I would be sitting in church sometimes and feeling awful for feeling these things, but then other times I would be eyeing a couple cute girls across the aisle and sort of letting my mind run off with the idea, which made me feel even worse afterward, and on and on like a cycle, even though I couldn't help it, I kept coming back to those thoughts. I don't regret the thoughts now that I know better, but man, those feelings of personal anguish at feeling like "I don't belong here in God's house, I'm a bad Christian, I'm a traitor to the Lord's covenants" could get quite intense, it's like you felt a little devil inside you that you felt even worse for letting it remain there.

So then, maybe in the last couple years, can't pinpoint the day or even the month but fairly recently in life, I randomly one day just googled "polygamy in the bible". Simple as that. Can't even remember why I looked it up, because hitherto, never would I have thought in my wildest dreams what we know today here at BF. What followed was indeed a whirlwind of revelations, both personal and biblical. I was in a monogamous relationship with a girl at the time, and she had already refused and shot down the notion hard earlier in our relationship, so I sort of ran that along its natural course and eventually that relationship ended, and now I'm a free man to start a new life with the proper Christian polygamous mindset (which nobody had ever bothered to tell me about! I guess God eventually did, in His own way...)
 
Because of delving deeper into the Tanach (old testament) and a new found respect for it's principles and authority, I began to observe and question several things like divorce (I am) and polygyny. The most basic "in your face" example to me is Jacob, having 12 sons that became the foundational families of Israel, though they came from 4 different mothers. Just doesn't look like sin to me if Yahweh blessed it. Also, Judah was told to DIVORCE their foreign wives when they were leaving Babylon for home. Hmmm...
So there are one or two people whom I consider spiritual soulmates that I would discuss these perplexing issues with and we started coming to some conclusions that, once again, our culture and the churches were probably wrong on these matters as well.
 
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Robhar said:
@PeteR...

Hugs to K...
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Glad you are participating on here. @Judgemenot doesn't get on very often, but we are getting ready for our third retreat and are both excited to see family from the forum that we have bonded with.

Blessings.
 
I was doing a deep study on Biblical genealogy. I was asked if having multiple wives was wrong. and if so, Why?" I had been asked this before and my knee-jerk response was the standard rhetoric. This person knew, that on most things, I would truly study them out for myself and not just repeat others. As she pressed me for more explanation I was forced to look deeper. In time she became my second, and two or three months later I found this web site. The reasonings here were basically the same as what I had already concluded.
 
PeteR said:
Bravo for her... she not only knew the truth and pressed you on it, but found headship and a family in the process!
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Maybe she instinctively "knew". She had studied the Messianic perspective and doubted many traditional teachings although she still had many that she defended. She has an enquiring mind and has a way of forcing me to defend and define and discover truth. The more we looked at PM the less we could defend Monogamy only as a Biblical view in either the Old or New testament. FW getting on board was a direct revelation of the Spirit.
 
I had a dream that I was in my apartment reading the Bible when I heard a voice saying my name and then saying you can have another wife, yet not to divorce your wife of your youth. I went to work the next day and during lunch I often fast and pray, but this day after the dream that night I heard a voice in my head saying you can have another wife, yet not to divorce your wife of your youth. I called on Jesus name to cast out the evil spirit, to give me a pure heart and mind while asking Jesus to keep me from evil. Then that night I had another dream the same as the night before and heard a voice saying my name and then saying you can have another wife, yet not to divorce your wife of your youth. Now I had enough and was going to prove that it was Satan that was sending me these messages in my head and I could prove it, because it would not line up to the word of God. I told my wife about the dreams and what I was going to do to prove it wrong. I planed to start a study of the Bible on this subject. I was shocked on how many verses in the Bible speaks of having more than one wife and even gives rules for having more than one wife, some from God Himself. I shared this study with my wife. I then started having dreams of a name to call, I did not know a person with this name. The only person with this name was a person I dated when I was young. I also did not know how to get the phone number for her, for she would have been married and have another last name. I was on the computer and an add about using this new app that could be used to find someone popped up. The only problem is it coast money and I was not about to pay for something that God was asking me to do. I clicked on the add and it said put in a name in the block provided and it would find the person you were looking for, I typed the name of the name I knew this person by and where I knew this person from. Then up came a list of people with that first name and lots of different last names (10 to 20), none in the area of where I had typed. The problem is that the next step was to pay, which I was not going to do. I noticed that all the names had information that had been blacked out with black bars after each name except one which showed a phone number; an area of the united states, and with a husbands name and two children's names. I thought why would this be the only one showing this persons first name with a different last name, family names, and a phone number? All the others were showing the names only with all the other information blacked out. So I decided to call and when I did a person answered which I asked if she knew a person by my name. She said no she did not know a person named by another name, not the name I gave her. I then stated my name again. She then started screaming it my first love, its my first love. I then talked to her about her past and mine, when she told me that her husband had died last year and that she had many problems with dating and she was thinking about killing her self due to the way the men were treating her. That she had been dreaming about me and did not know how to contact me. I told her I was asked to call her by the Lord and did not know how to get in contact with her along with how strange it was that I got her phone number. I told my wife about getting in contact with this person and she knew about our past. This person asked if I could come and see her just to talk, I stated only if it was all right with my wife and it was. We went to see her and met with her, we talked about old times. I had talked to wife about what the Lord had led me in study in the Bible about plural marriage and to call this other person, the Lord was working on my wife also. I had no plans to have a second wife, but God had other planes He allowed me to choice to be with this person and allowed my wife to accept the situation. With in time, over a little more than a year she did become my second wife (in a covenant marriage).
 
wow alot of great testamonials. Wanna say that I just knew when I read about solomon having a couple thousand wives that I knew it was for me maybe not that many hahahaha. I could go for a couple few though. I heard that you were only allowed to have one woman but nobody ever said why so why not?
 
Jackofall82 said:
wow alot of great testamonials. Wanna say that I just knew when I read about solomon having a couple thousand wives that I knew it was for me maybe not that many hahahaha. I could go for a couple few though. I heard that you were only allowed to have one woman but nobody ever said why so why not?
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Hi @Jackofall82 Welcome to our little slice of the Internet. Please introduce yourself here and tell us a bit about you!
 
Herbie said:
I copied and pasted mine from my other post in another thread.
At the age of 15, I witnessed the pastor of my small church ask a polygamist man and his wives and children not to come back to the church. They had came by to attend a service in hopes of finding a place them and their children could attend. I Began to research if the man and his family were indeed living in sin as the pastor preached from the pulpit. To my surprise they were not, when I scoured through scripture after scripture. I realized the pastor like society had abandoned Gods law. Then I decided to pursue it later, I just felt A pull to defend Gods law.
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Hmmmm, I think when I get a second wife and get kicked out of my church, I might just visit all the churches around here and get asked not to come back. Who knows? There might be some 15 year olds in some of those churches, who witness those encounters!
 
So four years ago, I was at work, walking towards my desk, and I had on my heart, witnessing to lost souls, but the thought occurred to me, that often, what keeps people bound to their false religion, is not necessarily whether that religion is true or can be proven false, but rather, some of the thing they might have to forfeit, in order to follow Christ. The other thing I pondered, was the fact that our eternal reward may pale in comparison to what they have been promised. Eternal marriage is promised to Mormons, and 72 virgins are promised to Muslims, and that naturally led to the realization that these groups can also practice polygamy. I thought that if I were Mormon, I would naturally choose one of the poly offshoots, but of course, their deviant theology, especially pertaining to their beliefs about God, prohibited me from embracing that belief. Then is struck me that Scripture never condemns polygamy, and I wondered if there were any Christians who accepted the teaching that a man could have more than one wife. I decided that when I got back to my desk, I would do a Google search.

What I found, amazed me! Mark Henkel had produced a video, in which he shared II Sam 12:8, and of course I continued to dig deeper. I wanted to see both sides of the argument. After a lot of digging, I found raging online debate, but I found that every argument that was used against polygamy, had already been refuted by sites such as the Biblical Families Objections page. When I saw that those who opposed polygamy were only winning the online debate by wearing down their opponents, I knew which side was right, and I felt strongly enough about it, to be willing to stick my neck out. Then I watched the 25 part series on Biblical Marriage, produced by Brian Kelson, and in one of his videos, he asked how we could be silent in the face of falsehood. That compelled me to join the fray. It took three years for me to get my wife to accept polygamy. God has not yet brought us a second wife, but I have been praying, and I know that in His time, He will bring us to the next chapter in our lives.
 
Had a maternal great-grandfather who had 2 wives and children in 2 close but different states. He worked for a major newspaper and for over 20 years he worked it out. Died when I was very young. Have had no contact with any of them. Tried the DNA route, found a few but no response. Seems like most people are like that. Send it in, get the results and then do not follow thru. During my teenage years I hung out with the other rejects and had at times 2 girlfriends. We were together all the time. Never took it serious as race cars were my main focus. Fast forward to 6 years ago while in a hospital I had an experience of falling into a dark, black hole. All thru my life I had this same nightmare of falling into this hole. Usually I would wake right up. This time felt like 2 hours. It is the only thing that has ever really scared me. Driving at high speeds doesn`t even come close. This nightmare was so bad I started at 13 with alcohol to get sleep. After 26 years I woke up one day and quit. Was still unable to get real sleep but pressed on. When I was in the hospital and falling into what I knew was death, I landed on 2 outstretched arms. At that same instant I woke up. I was given 3 things to do. Sell off most of my vehicles, sell our house and find the woman who will be my next help mate. As soon as this happened I started following Jesus in the ways he has been guiding me. I have been trying to accomplish those 3 things but it seems like forces are working against me. My wife is at the point of where is she already? She is the only friend I have left. Once I started on this path all the so-called friends left. One other thing is that I realized that Jesus has been with me since birth and has saved me on countless rides of high speeds and overall just being reckless. I`m hoping to become one of the Elect and to use me to face off with the Anti-Christ. He has restored my mind and body. Never have felt this good!
 
Ours was also was Isaiah 4:1. We had been studying Torah for about 3 years and one of the studies was that. We kinda knew Hashem would one day bring another woman to be a wife but didn't know when. Our boys always knew our feelings and thoughts. So 2 years ago my sister wife came and became a part of our family. She now lives with us and one son is wanting a pural marriage and the other son is ok with one wife. But we found out long ago how much the church doesn't tell you. Shalom
 
I grew up in a household adamantly opposed to God, but I always heard the inner voice and knew it’s truth in my heart. I never had any teachers, pastors, father figures or anyone to help me, but my first ever boyfriend and his family identified themselves as born again Christians and as an introduction to their family, gifted me a bible. I took the Bible with me everywhere and (foolishly) tried to delve into meaty topics I did not understand, and one thing I could never accept was Jacob having 4 wives. I went on living, chasing the wind without direction, until The Lord heard my cries for help and quite literally handed me to my now husband who patiently took the time to teach me and uncover the mysteries of God’s beauty. I tormented my husband so much on this topic (I’m not proud to admit), but eventually I came to the conclusion that “everything is lawful” and that patriarchy is God’s design. However many wives the Lord wishes you to have is for no other reason than to bless you for His glory, same as with children. “For a man may plan his course, but it is The Lord who directs his steps” (paraphrase). Not to mention that by studying our forefathers lives, you come to realize that, compared to this society, having multiple wives, concubines, maidservants, slaves, etc gave everyone as close to a Godly society as possible, where everyone in the household was under one mans authority and they were all free to love and support one another in a close knit tribe that we all desire to this day.
 
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