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How do you, the women of this forum get over the "unfairness" of patriarchy, especially polygyny?

JudahYAHites said:
MeganC said:
If you men would truly put God and Jesus on the throne of your hearts...if you would submit to God the way you want us women to submit to you you will never concern yourselves about our submission! You will have our love, our loyalty, our passion, our dedication, our devotion, our labor, our bodies, our wealth, our hearts, our everything!
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I am inclined to strongly agree with this statement, because it is what I have experienced. What she has stated above is the truth.
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YAH is the perfect husband and both wives rebelled so YAH had to be concerned with their submission.
 
Gary Slaughenhaupt said:
YAH is the perfect husband and both wives rebelled so YAH had to be concerned with their submission.
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MeganC said:
IMHO God was speaking to the men who were already obedient to God.
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Well, in that context, the wives were two very rebellious branches of Israel, so the men who were Yah's brides were anything but submissive.
 
raulus said:
I'm making this thread to try to understand a woman's perspective, men feel free to post as well if you think you have good advice for me, input, etc. I've looked around the forum and couldn't find a thread like this one. This has been one of the main issues I deal with with my wife. The whole difference in understanding women's and men's roles based on the bible, compared to how she's been taught her whole life. On one hand she says I misinterpret, but on the other hand this issue messes with her faith, she gets mad at God, in anger she speaks against the bible, says how disgusting it is, and wrong He is.

Here's some of the main points I deal with in dispute:

Obedience to your husband in everything, as unto the Lord as scripture says, seems unreasonable to her. She tends to always ask is everything really everything? Like rob a bank? Kill someone?

She hates that men can have more wives. That it is in their authority to do so. It is disgusting to her.

That they take wives for their lustful urges, and nothing else.

She feels that it renders her as simply nothing more than an object, which I assure her it does not, and especially not to me.

That she answers to me, even if I say I don't approve of a piece of clothing.

That the woman biblically belongs to the man, in marriage

That the bible seems to be written for men, and that God doesn't care about her.

How do you women(and men) tackle dealing with this issue that the Bible can be offensive towards you, the modern day woman? How do you come to terms with it? Did you also suffer with these issues?

My wife may very well read this, so you can even speak as if you're talking to her and not me. I personally don't know how to answer some of these questions. Knowing how a woman understands these things would really help me to gain perspective, and how to help my wife with what she is dealing with in reading the bible.
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My typing/computer skills are not great so, I'm going to try to answer this the best I can . I don't really know yet how to separate each part of others comments and questions, to respond to them individually(the statements) as others do on this forum.
Hopefully this can help your household a bit.

In response to the first listed issue or main points.

As a woman, I can say that the obedience piece is not as challenging, when the head of the family is in obedience to the Father. A godly man will not rob a bank. By the sweat of his brows he will gain his resources.... He may kill someone in self defense though, and/or to defend his household. Yes, he might need your help or demand it in the process however, in those scenarios( robbers ,intruders of the home etc...)it most likely will be obvious that quick unfortunate, but necessary reaction is needed to safeguard life.
 
Bina said:
I don't really know yet how to separate each part of others comments and questions, to respond to them individually(the statements) as others do on this forum.
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I can help you with that a mite.
If you hold your finger on a word it will highlight it, and give you the blue dots you see in the picture. Menu options appear after you select the portion of the text you want to respond to. Then you can touch the option you want. The bottom two are just for this forum, the top bar is general like copy. If you select quote as an option you then need to touch the 'insert quotes' button under your text box that you type in at the bottom. If you hit the reply option that appears it will place that at the top of your message and let you type under it.
I hope this helps.
Screenshot_20230909_200346_Chrome.jpg
 
Joleneakamama said:
I can help you with that a mite.
If you hold your finger on a word it will highlight it, and give you the blue dots you see in the picture. Menu options appear after you select the portion of the text you want to respond to. Then you can touch the option you want. The bottom two are just for this forum, the top bar is general like copy. If you select quote as an option you then need to touch the 'insert quotes' button under your text box that you type in at the bottom. If you hit the reply option that appears it will place that at the top of your message and let you type under it.
I hope this helps.
View attachment 5368
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Thank you so much Sis. Hopefully I will be able to follow your prompt and get it.
 
theleastofthese said:
It really shows where someone's heart is when they enter into a marriage or any relationship with a fairness mindset. I don't say this to insult your wife in any way, i'm sure she is struggling at the moment however at some point with any relationship in life, you have to simply let the fairness mindset go.
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Agree. Is it fair that a man should die defending his wife against a mugger? In his memory, we would say he was honorable , he did the right thing. he was justified in his actions to put his life at risk, nonetheless he lost it. Later she possible will remarry and continue on. Was he foolish ? Is she wrong ? The same trust that we women have in men, to defend and protect, is the same trust we should have in his other decisions. There's a thin line between fairness and trust and often times that's patience. For the most part , what we deemed as unfair, is really lack of trust and patience that the outcome will be favorable for us the woman.
 
frederick said:
That's a helpful observation. So, is it that women initially view a life-situation as to whether it will be a favorable outcome for themselves? Would that be particularly true for how women first consider and regard polygyny?
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Sir, is that a question you are asking me directly or just adding more info to chew on?
 
Bina said:
Agree. Is it fair that a man should die defending his wife against a mugger? In his memory, we would say he was honorable , he did the right thing. he was justified in his actions to put his life at risk, nonetheless he lost it. Later she possible will remarry and continue on. Was he foolish ? Is she wrong ? The same trust that we women have in men, to defend and protect, is the same trust we should have in his other decisions. There's a thin line between fairness and trust and often times that's patience. For the most part , what we deemed as unfair, is really lack of trust and patience that the outcome will be favorable for us the woman.
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This is very mature thinking.
 
Bina said:
Agree. Is it fair that a man should die defending his wife against a mugger? In his memory, we would say he was honorable , he did the right thing. he was justified in his actions to put his life at risk, nonetheless he lost it. Later she possible will remarry and continue on. Was he foolish ? Is she wrong ? The same trust that we women have in men, to defend and protect, is the same trust we should have in his other decisions. There's a thin line between fairness and trust and often times that's patience. For the most part , what we deemed as unfair, is really lack of trust and patience that the outcome will be favorable for us the woman.
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Yes! It's amazing how much our perspective can change when we concern ourselves more with giving than taking.
 
frederick said:
Both thanks @Bina. More insights help us all.
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Turtle typing -forgive me.
Hoping that both of these short examples below , can answer your question about a favorable outcome ( scenario) for different types of women.
We understand that the earth is filled with a sea of women, therefore, these examples do not in any way reflect all females . Its just a tidbit of sharing and reflections . To answer the first part of your question.

In my humble opinion as a woman, I believe , most females in the world hope to be protected and made to feel secure and safe by males. In that 'hope'' is the desire, prayer of , longing for, wanting, wishing, yearning of - a favorable outcome .

If we start with the beginning, girls are generally protected by their fathers, brothers ,uncles etc.... then grow up and seek to be protected in a relationship by a man.
Protection/security can mean different things, to different women.

For example-A woman who is financially successful , may want predominately to be with a man that would provide her with companionship/ a more emotional , physical, intellectual, sexual , pregnancy, etc...reality. If she finds that in a man that's a decent enough guy , to her , that is in route to a favorable outcome in her life.

An opposite example may be , if a woman lack financial resources, she may hope to be with a man that has an ample amount to provide for her.
It may not seem like much resources lets say, to a westernized woman , but its probably plenty for a woman coming from a third world country or a poor American family. She (the woman lacking in access to financial resources ) probably wont be too fussy or demanding, or expecting a lot from the man. As compared to what another female may desire/expect.
She probably will be content with having food, clothing, shelter and conjugal rights.

This is often why men find women from other countries easier to build with. Less complicated of sorts. They the men , expect to experience less hassle, as these women from other countries, are most of the time , very grateful to have an opportunity to have a mate that will bring home the turkey bacon.
In having a man to provide her with the necessities , she is on the path of receiving her provision, protection, security leading to a favorable outcome, of what was initially most important to her.

We are not referring here, to women who , pose as wanting the basics, but yet , may have a secret agenda like ,just wanting a wedding event or a baby or just needing a green card.
After they get it, may become a different person altogether , as that was her favorable outcome, sadly at the expense of a man that didn't see through the deception at the time. Perhaps he was distracted by the exoticness of it all.
If her behavior, loyalty, honor, respect, commitment, nurture and obedience does not change after attainment of the above just mentioned and or visa, green card or entry into the United States( where we are presently relating to) then this can be a favorable outcome for all parties involved frankly. Hence, what's favorable in outcome, is often what makes us wombman (intentional spelling) feel safe, protected, loved, provided for, looked after defended , etc.... different strokes for different Sisters. No pun intended.
Bina said:
Sir, is that a question you are asking me directly or just adding more info to chew on?
Click to expand...
 
Bina said:
Turtle typing -forgive me.
Hoping that both of these short examples below , can answer your question about a favorable outcome ( scenario) for different types of women.
We understand that the earth is filled with a sea of women, therefore, these examples do not in any way reflect all females . Its just a tidbit of sharing and reflections . To answer the first part of your question.

In my humble opinion as a woman, I believe , most females in the world hope to be protected and made to feel secure and safe by males. In that 'hope'' is the desire, prayer of , longing for, wanting, wishing, yearning of - a favorable outcome .

If we start with the beginning, girls are generally protected by their fathers, brothers ,uncles etc.... then grow up and seek to be protected in a relationship by a man.
Protection/security can mean different things, to different women.

For example-A woman who is financially successful , may want predominately to be with a man that would provide her with companionship/ a more emotional , physical, intellectual, sexual , pregnancy, etc...reality. If she finds that in a man that's a decent enough guy , to her , that is in route to a favorable outcome in her life.

An opposite example may be , if a woman lack financial resources, she may hope to be with a man that has an ample amount to provide for her.
It may not seem like much resources lets say, to a westernized woman , but its probably plenty for a woman coming from a third world country or a poor American family. She (the woman lacking in access to financial resources ) probably wont be too fussy or demanding, or expecting a lot from the man. As compared to what another female may desire/expect.
She probably will be content with having food, clothing, shelter and conjugal rights.

This is often why men find women from other countries easier to build with. Less complicated of sorts. They the men , expect to experience less hassle, as these women from other countries, are most of the time , very grateful to have an opportunity to have a mate that will bring home the turkey bacon.
In having a man to provide her with the necessities , she is on the path of receiving her provision, protection, security leading to a favorable outcome, of what was initially most important to her.

We are not referring here, to women who , pose as wanting the basics, but yet , may have a secret agenda like ,just wanting a wedding event or a baby or just needing a green card.
After they get it, may become a different person altogether , as that was her favorable outcome, sadly at the expense of a man that didn't see through the deception at the time. Perhaps he was distracted by the exoticness of it all.
If her behavior, loyalty, honor, respect, commitment, nurture and obedience does not change after attainment of the above just mentioned and or visa, green card or entry into the United States( where we are presently relating to) then this can be a favorable outcome for all parties involved frankly. Hence, what's favorable in outcome, is often what makes us wombman (intentional spelling) feel safe, protected, loved, provided for, looked after defended , etc.... different strokes for different Sisters. No pun intended.
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Sir , I hope I answered the first part of your question .
 
Bina said:
Turtle typing -forgive me.
Hoping that both of these short examples below , can answer your question about a favorable outcome ( scenario) for different types of women.
We understand that the earth is filled with a sea of women, therefore, these examples do not in any way reflect all females . Its just a tidbit of sharing and reflections . To answer the first part of your question.

In my humble opinion as a woman, I believe , most females in the world hope to be protected and made to feel secure and safe by males. In that 'hope'' is the desire, prayer of , longing for, wanting, wishing, yearning of - a favorable outcome .

If we start with the beginning, girls are generally protected by their fathers, brothers ,uncles etc.... then grow up and seek to be protected in a relationship by a man.
Protection/security can mean different things, to different women.

For example-A woman who is financially successful , may want predominately to be with a man that would provide her with companionship/ a more emotional , physical, intellectual, sexual , pregnancy, etc...reality. If she finds that in a man that's a decent enough guy , to her , that is in route to a favorable outcome in her life.

An opposite example may be , if a woman lack financial resources, she may hope to be with a man that has an ample amount to provide for her.
It may not seem like much resources lets say, to a westernized woman , but its probably plenty for a woman coming from a third world country or a poor American family. She (the woman lacking in access to financial resources ) probably wont be too fussy or demanding, or expecting a lot from the man. As compared to what another female may desire/expect.
She probably will be content with having food, clothing, shelter and conjugal rights.

This is often why men find women from other countries easier to build with. Less complicated of sorts. They the men , expect to experience less hassle, as these women from other countries, are most of the time , very grateful to have an opportunity to have a mate that will bring home the turkey bacon.
In having a man to provide her with the necessities , she is on the path of receiving her provision, protection, security leading to a favorable outcome, of what was initially most important to her.

We are not referring here, to women who , pose as wanting the basics, but yet , may have a secret agenda like ,just wanting a wedding event or a baby or just needing a green card.
After they get it, may become a different person altogether , as that was her favorable outcome, sadly at the expense of a man that didn't see through the deception at the time. Perhaps he was distracted by the exoticness of it all.
If her behavior, loyalty, honor, respect, commitment, nurture and obedience does not change after attainment of the above just mentioned and or visa, green card or entry into the United States( where we are presently relating to) then this can be a favorable outcome for all parties involved frankly. Hence, what's favorable in outcome, is often what makes us wombman (intentional spelling) feel safe, protected, loved, provided for, looked after defended , etc.... different strokes for different Sisters. No pun intended.
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Great exposition/proof of how female hypergamy isn't static but exists on a sliding scale based on each individual woman's perspective.

Thanks, @Bina.
 
Keith Martin said:
Great exposition/proof of how female hypergamy isn't static but exists on a sliding scale based on each individual woman's perspective.

Thanks, @Bina.
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You're welcome Sir.
Its difficult writing here at times because, I know somethings I say may ruffle feathers, however if we truly want progress ( at least for the future generation of young adults that may come to this forum) its more just, to discuss all possibilities, triumphs and pitfalls, they may encounter throughout their mating development.

Human life, as compared to other living things like trees for instance, is short. The more we learn , hopefully the less mistakes we should be making.

Young adults can dodge these mistakes per se , by learning here (this forum tool) from others' blunders, thereby avoiding wasting precious LIFE.

My motivation and objective is that, my six grandsons, one day, will grow up and know where I stood on the subject of plural biblical marriage.
Perhaps they will also glean, from all the stories shared here by others, and the different stances men took on scriptural doctrine. My deep love for them and my compassion for women , compel me to risk saying, what is often at times difficult or a bit taboo. The bottom line, is that satan/the demonic/lucifer is working overtime with legions of entities , to destroy humans, as we are so loved by our HEAVENLY CREATOR. Where we had failed in being vigilant, hopefully our children and grand children will not, because we did not let the ego, hide pertinent truths from them. We exposed the wiles of the devil's impact on our own frail lives.
 
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