How to refer to specific wives? ...and other polygamy etiquette...

[Mojo]

Tiny, for the biggest dude in the room?

 

[ginger2]

i kinda liked 'old lady', suits my sense of humor ... but when i called him old man, he called me battle ax

 

[steve]

“Hey you......you wid da nose”
(generally not used again until I have been seeing out of both eyes for a few weeks)

On the other hand, I am referred to as Trouble now and again.

 

[Curtis Gerhart]

There is a long list of names my Sweetie calls me. Too many for here. I must admit the harsher ones are probably most fitting. I am not the easiest person to live with. Logical and all.

 

[Patricia C]

A quick Google search seems to show the term cowife as being commonly used by those who might be descendant from Ishmael. Were it not for that fact, I think the term might be quite appropriate. Peer-wife doesn't seem to have a very nice ring to it, and doesn't sound very endearing either. I've read on other forums (redit, sisterwives.yuku), where the man simply uses the first letter of the name of each of his respective women (or so it seemed anyway).

Hahahahahaha! I saw cowife but it registered in my mind as "cow-fie" did I mention I have dyslexia LOL oh that was a great laugh!

 

[Tesfalcon]

I agree w everything & nothing.

1) Context matters.
Relationship can change opinions & change the perspective of a quoted opinion. The opinion of me stated by June, my sister's mother-in-law who has known me casually since I was 13, is different than "June", my neighbor of 5 years, & "June", my 2nd wife.

2) On forums, even like this, I tend to use single letter initials for privacy. (S, D, & me.)

3) D was easily offended & took being referred to as my 2nd wife as a sign of inferiority & caused issue in an attempt to demonstrate her superiority. After she left, she married her ex-bf who has shown her what it truly means to be inferior: husband of one, ex-husband of 4, bf of 5, & deadbeat dad to way too many.

4) The sisterwife vs co-wife vs ? represents the relationship between the wives. Sisterwives tend to be closer than co-wives who tend to be standoffish. Islamic co-wifedom mandates such coldness. "She is my husband's other wife." It designates a separation, removal, & deepens animosity for what is often (in Islamic circles) an unwanted arrangement by the women. Whereas a wife accepting another wife in w joy like she would her own sister is a much warmer embrace; a feminine version of "brotherly love", if u will. But this acceptance depends on your association w your sister even as poor brotherly relations can sour the meaning of phileo.

5) While my Christian family & friends were shocked & outraged by my polygynous scandal, declaring myself poly among my "worldly" co-workers more often brought comments of envy. My mom even said that it was worse than coming out as a homosexual. When not ONE was willing to sit down & talk Scripture & one preacher bashed me in public while agreeing w me in private (it might cost him his job), I had my fill of what other people thought. Legal or not. Welcome to me.

 

[rockfox]

While my Christian family & friends were shocked & outraged by my polygynous scandal, declaring myself poly among my "worldly" co-workers more often brought comments of envy.

I have found this to be true about many biblical practices that go against church tradition. The world respects you for your accomplishment or guts or for not being a hypocrite and being consistent in your walk of faith. The Christians, so called, just hate you for pointing out (via your lived life) that they got something wrong or for doing something that they perceive will hamper evangelism.

 

[Tesfalcon]

The world respects you for your accomplishment or guts or for not being a hypocrite and being consistent in your walk of faith. The Christians, so called, just hate you for pointing out (via your lived life) that they got something wrong or for doing something that they perceive will hamper evangelism.

Not quite. My worldly associates simply admired my "manly skill" in getting 2 women into my bed. Having 2 or 3 or 4 girlfriends is perfectly acceptable, even among Christians. Sleeping w my girlfriend(s) is looked down on by Christians but overlooked in its commonality. "Marriage is divinely reserved for just one man w only one woman" ("I can't find that verse off hand, but I'm certain the Bible says so.")

This reminds me of a discussion I got into w an atheist. I admitted that my (only) wife and I enjoyed a certain sex act. He was appalled & rebuked me. I asked where such an act was forbidden. His former life as a child of religious parents had left certsin strong impressions on him. He declared the Bible the work of men & there was no Higher Power. Like poly, he had no verse (although he did love quoting, "Judge not that u be not judged"), but that was what he had been taught all his life. He insisted that I "repent of my sin". I then asked, "What sin? If, as u say there is no God, then I am guilty of nothing more than not obeying YOUR parents. My God says nothing to condemn me, therefore I have nothing to repent of since I have not sinned."

 

[Joleneakamama]

The sisterwife vs co-wife vs ? represents the relationship between the wives. Sisterwives tend to be closer than co-wives who tend to be standoffish. Islamic co-wifedom mandates such coldness. "She is my husband's other wife." It designates a separation, removal, & deepens animosity for what is often (in Islamic circles) an unwanted arrangement by the women. Whereas a wife accepting another wife in w joy like she would her own sister is a much warmer embrace; a feminine version of "brotherly love", if u will. But this acceptance depends on your association w your sister even as poor brotherly relations can sour the meaning of phileo.

I have never heard this. I have often used co-wife because to me it is like co-worker. I would never want a superior position or rank should I ever be a first but not only wife, and this because of a heartfelt desire to apply the golden rule to such a family member. So ironically my intent is opposite of what you would think, based on your understanding of the term.

My favorite term of endearment hubby has used is girl, least favorite is woman. All because of the association (positive and negative) and context they have been used in.

I get called a lot of other things too, by a lot of different folks.... most of them nice....and I'm never called late to dinner! lol

Edited to add ...Hubby gets grief from me when he calls me young lady, because I'm older then him....and I give him grief when he refers to himself as an old man for the same reason. All in good humour.