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Is submissiveness a mandatory in polygyny?

Sophia

Sophia

Member
I always thought that polygyny was all about being submissive and devoted to your husband and Christ.

Growing up in a very traditional family I was drawn into traditional gender roles, homemaking and being a submissive wife since I was a kid. Found my perfect husband - head of the household and two years after getting married my husband wanted to introduce a second wife to our marriage, I felt terribly hurt and left him.
I deeply regret that decision.
Later I realized that my ex husband being the head of the household knew his decision was beneficial for everyone involved, but it was too late.

After reading a lot about it - specially the Bible , I decided to humble myself, overcome jealousy and explore the ultimate way to submit to your husband - polygyny - sharing him with love.
 
Sophia said:
I always thought that polygyny was all about being submissive and devoted to your husband and Christ.

Growing up in a very traditional family I was drawn into traditional gender roles, homemaking and being a submissive wife since I was a kid. Found my perfect husband - head of the household and two years after getting married my husband wanted to introduce a second wife to our marriage, I felt terribly hurt and left him.
I deeply regret that decision.
Later I realized that my ex husband being the head of the household knew his decision was beneficial for everyone involved, but it was too late.

After reading a lot about it - specially the Bible , I decided to humble myself, overcome jealousy and explore the ultimate way to submit to your husband - polygyny - sharing him with love.
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Is submissiveness a mandatory in polygyny?​


Submission is mandatory in marriage.

For the man it is submission to Christ
For the woman it is submission to her man/husband

Polygyny is just a numerical factor within the covenant union of marriage.

PS.
Going to use some of what you wrote here to ask three questions on a new thread so as not to derail this one, because although I know that your situation is very real and personal to you, I can assure you it is very common.
 
Try to imagine a household with more than one woman where they aren’t submissive.
 
JudahYAHites said:

Is submissiveness a mandatory in polygyny?​


Submission is mandatory in marriage.

For the man it is submission to Christ
For the woman it is submission to her man/husband

Polygyny is just a numerical factor within the covenant union of marriage.

PS.
Going to use some of what you wrote here to ask three questions on a new thread so as not to derail this one, because although I know that your situation is very real and personal to you, I can assure you it is very common.
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Thank you for your response. I learned about submission since I was a girl. Its just hard to practice it purely. Any way, I am willing to try again.
 
Sophia said:
Thank you for your response. I learned about submission since I was a girl. Its just hard to practice it purely. Any way, I am willing to try again.
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As others have said, it is no different in multiple marriages than it is in one. You have said it is too late for you, which I am so sorry to hear and I pray that it changes. You have also said it is difficult to be obedient to that command to submit, so I am going to offer some words to help strengthen your understanding.

One thing that will help next time there is a conflict of interest, is to keep in mind that a woman's submission to her husband IS obedience to God. Just like a man's love for his wife, no matter how unlovable, is obedience to God, so, too, in the difficult moments, if her eyes are on Him, the perfect One, to inspire her heart toward submission, instead of looking to her husband, an imperfect one, for inspiration and finding him lacking, she will have a much easier time staying the course and obeying that man even in what she perceives is his dishonor. And, do this with faith, believing it your command from God to submit to your husband, no matter how dishonorable you think he is, so that, in moments like the past, when you thought surely he was wrong and you were right, yet because of your faith in God, you will obey and submit yourself to an earthly man who you believe to be in error. God will reward you for your obedience to Him in obeying your husband.

This correct framing and focus of her mind will also help a woman avoid idolatry in the periods where her husband is everything she ever wanted, if even in those happy times she remembers that it is God who she is submitting to by following her "perfect" husband. Do this in the happy times as well as the hard times, even in the times when you think he is ordering you to disobey God, understanding that God is the author of your submission and that He placed you under your husband without condition and it is your indemnification. As long as a woman remains in submission to her husband, he is her covering and he alone answers to God for the way he has managed his authority. He bears the guilt before God for any wrongdoing he causes, as well as the reward for righteousness that he causes. This is how a hierarchy works. If we say this hierarchy doesn't exist, then we must also say his authority is a myth. This is the blessing of the curse that placed women under the rule of men. As long as you are obeying his command, you are free to simply obey without fear of guilt, because that is His command to you. He has placed the burden on the man's shoulders who blamed the woman for sin, and put the woman in bondage to the man.

But, if you step out from under the man's covering, rebelling against his word, he bears no guilt for you.
 
Sophia said:
I am willing to try again.
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“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭10‬-‭11‬

Have you considered reconciliation?
 
b_ce said:
“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭10‬-‭11‬

Have you considered reconciliation?
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Yes, we've gone through that and did not work out
 
Loosely defined, a woman totally free to remarry, possibly not under any authority or headship. (-per maddog)
 
Sophia said:
Yes, we've gone through that and did not work out
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Nothing stopping you from trying to reconcile again. Some really good answers here about submission so I won’t add further to that. Has your husband divorced you or are you just currently separated.
 
NBTX11 said:
Nothing stopping you from trying to reconcile again. Some really good answers here about submission so I won’t add further to that. Has your husband divorced you or are you just currently separated.
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Divorced since 2 years ago and he's moved on with his new wife.
 
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