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Leslie from Montana

Leslie Pease

Member
Real Person
Female
Hi my name's Leslie. I'm James Pease's wife. He introduced himself in the "James from Montana" introduction. I am his first wife of almost 10 years now. I figured I'd introduce myself becoming a new member of the site and tell you a little about my experience of becoming a part of a polygynous family.

I've always believed that Christ died for my sins but I've been a disciple of Christ for 5 years now.

So for over a year my husband, being an elder of the church, had been dicussing, with me and other people, polygyny and how he couldnt view it as wrong. He never brought up personally taking another wife, his stance was that he couldnt speak up about anybody else taking one or having one. He also never thought it a possibility to take another wife because I have always had major jealousy problems. A month prior to him taking his 2nd wife (my younger 18 year old sister which we had been taking care of and had been living with us for 3 and a half years), God had started working on my jealousy. I noticed my husband being more thoughtful towards my sister in that month (unlike any other woman before) and as we had been looking into polygyny, we'd also been looking more and more into the biblical roles of men and even more so..women. So in that month, I started to wonder how much I could actually get mad about my husbands interactions with other women, (not that any of his interactions were inappropriate but he's always been more friendly to women friends than I would have liked). He's always gotten along with women much easier than men, not that he doesn't have men friends but they tend to be turned off by his intelligence and his tendency to point out hypocrisy.

So, I started wondering how I should actually view my jealousy since, in God's eyes, it is not wrong for a man to take another wife. I should mention my husband and my's marriage had been really, really enjoyable for the past 2 years because I had sumbitted myself under his authority and started following the model that Paul states in Ephesians 5:22-24. So I decided to talk to my husband about his changed behavior (not thinking that it would lead to marriage at all because he told me specifically he was not looking to take another wife in our many discussions before) and see what he thought the bible said about a wife's jealousy and if it's at all exceptable since men are allowed to take other wives. I ended up bringing up that I realized how helpful it could be (to other women) for him to take them as a wife because we had come to realize how important biblical headship is in a family, and my husband is a man who's heart is after following the Lord, sticking to the truth of His Word, and praying & reading the scripture daily. Not to mention over the course of our 10 years of marriage I've seen God shape and mold him into a completely different man than the one that I'd met at 15(we married when he was 17 & I was 18). My husband decided not to share his feelings, (that he didnt really understand himself yet), for my sister that night because of my previous jealousy problems. The next day God told me that "I needed to be willing to be ok with James taking another wife". And that shook me pretty good (because I knew God's voice well enough to know it was Him who told me, I knew it wasn't against scripture, and in my walk with Christ I had become a person wanting to do everything He asked me to to please Him) but even though I was ok for someone else to be in polygyny, I was definitely not ok with applying that to my own marriage. I talked to my husband about what God had told me and he said that he didn't want to take another wife, still not understanding the feelings he was having and not wanting the extra responsibility, as well as not wanting to give up his position as elder. The next day after that, God had me tell my husband "if it was God's will for his life he needed to be willing to take another wife as well". Then the next day after, he told me the only person he would be willing to take as a wife was my sister Lara and that he had started feeling different feelings for her than he'd ever had before(during this past month). So realizing now what God was planning I had a choice to make.. James told God that he would not take another wife if I was not ok with it. The next day, I prayed with my husband and told God that I was willing for Him to change my heart to be ok with James taking another wife. Through the next week my sister also agreed to the marriage (since she knew my husband was exactly the type of man she'd been praying for God to bring to her), they made their vows to each other, my husband stepped down as elder, and they consimated the marriage. It was a lot of emotions for me to handle because my view on what marriage was supposed to be was still so skewed from our American culture that I had a lot to work through but it actually gave us the opportunity to work through the few problems we hadn't still worked through yet in our marriage and allowed the opportunity for growth in my walk with Christ AND NOW we have an even better marriage than we did before they married, as well as my relationship with Christ is much stronger, and the understanding that I can get from the Word is phenomenal when you see how polygyny can actually be good.

So our Father is faithful and has blessed my husband and I through his change (as well as answering me and my sister's prayers for her to find a God loving husband) and I am so thankful that I chose to obey Him.

Thanks for reading :)
 
Welcome to the forum Leslie, and that is a fantastic testimony. I am sure all the ladies would love to meet you at the Monday night ladies chat.
 
Welcome!
Your story is wonderful!
 
Welcome to Biblical Families!

That was an amazing introduction post. Thank you for sharing your story with us and being so open about your journey.

I'm a first and only wife and mom.

I mostly enjoy the cross denominational aspect of the discussions here, and being free to share my own thoughts and feelings relating to polygyny with people that are not hostile to the concept.

I hope you are blessed by being here and expect others will be blessed by your participation. :)
 
We are blessed by your willingness to be so candid about not only your fresh embrace of your husband's marriage to your sister but also about the meat and bones of the background behind that embrace. I'm very grateful for you sharing the degree to which you've been tackling probably the most difficult aspects (jealousy and social stigma) of a woman's struggle with accepting a structure in which she has to share a wife. I really do commend you, @Leslie Pease. Welcome to our corner of the world, and I look forward to my wife and I being able to meet you and your family at an in-person gathering.
 
Shalom, and welcome.
 
So glad to have you here @Leslie Pease! Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. Looking forward to getting to know you and your husband better. I hope you will join Chat on Mondays at 7:30 EST at some point, too.
 
Welcome!
 
Man, what a testimony. Thank you for being so bold as to share your story and encouragement to all of us. Glad to have you here!
 
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