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Love the ladies but some make me want to curse

paterfamilias

paterfamilias

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Male
Not trying to gripe or boo hoo poor little me or anything of that nature. More just vent slightly and express how much I apparently don't get.

Last Dec on one of the plural marriage seeking sites I am contacted by a very young woman who liked my profile and wanted to talk. Ok, cool. We start texting and it goes on for two days. I am polite but honest...Plenty of ladies here will attest to that, their cup of tea or not...I stay polite and try to be honest(would rather find someone attracted to me rather than a fake charming facade)...and two days into the conversation she does the ghosting. No biggie. She was not interested. I get it.

Here is where it gets funny. Yesterday on the same site I say hello to a young woman with a newish profile. Dont try to flirt or anything, mainly hi and keep your guard up, the joint is full of swingers. She asks to text. Sure. I shoot her a text and boom pops up last years conversation. I remind her who I am and of the conversation. The reply, "oh yeah lol" aaaand ghost.

Legitimately not bent about not being a match. Not remotely. I just am amazed at the lack of courtesy or interest in any consideration of others. It is like narcissism was the real pandemic that swept the nation. Just amazing.

Not even griping I suppose about the ladies that do this as I have been told that lots of couples are just as bad. Just more an issue of being mildly miffed that those who are supposedly...and it sure looks to me like a massive percentage are just full of crap...looking for life partnership would treat others trying to walk that same path as if they were just disposable. Lol, that sounds all black pilled. Happily not the case.
 
Given that she's contacted you twice now maybe she's got a reason to be interested in you. I'm thinking it's your epic beard. ;)
 
MeganC said:
Given that she's contacted you twice now maybe she's got a reason to be interested in you. I'm thinking it's your epic beard. ;)
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You are too kind. I suspect that she is simply fribberty-jibbet
 
paterfamilias said:
You are too kind. I suspect that she is simply fribberty-jibbet
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I've long said that the women who are interested in poly usually have reasons for it. Lots of imperfect women look for this life.

I guess my heart is saying to maybe just reach out to her again and just engage her about something other than this life. Like is she into sports or something. But again there is a reason why she contacted you twice. I don't believe in coincidences like that.
 
You make a good point about discussing other topics. I will admit to becoming too task driven as it were.

I will also admit to being a dumbass who made an assumption tumblr_o3oipnqiZR1qzpn6vo2_540.gif
Seems that I was not ghosted a second time and we are talking.

Being Murphy's favorite son means that it is fun for him to mess me about. Should have known if I predicted it that it would go the other direction.

Hey...I know. I predict she won't be amazing and for some strange reason think I am amazing as well...we won't fall head over heels and we won't have an army of fine strong sons on a big beautiful homestead.
 
paterfamilias said:
Hey...I know. I predict she won't be amazing and for some strange reason think I am amazing as well...we won't fall head over heels and we won't have an army of fine strong sons on a big beautiful homestead.
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Not every relationship is based in romance. I know this lady I see in the mirror all the time and she married her husband a long time before she loved him.
 
MeganC said:
Not every relationship is based in romance. I know this lady I see in the mirror all the time and she married her husband a long time before she loved him.
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Those are the testimonies that the world needs to hear.

Can I say win her head, not her heart?
Provide what she needs, as opposed to what she says she wants?
 
steve said:
Can I say win her head, not her heart?
Provide what she needs, as opposed to what she says she wants?
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There's a lady on Fox tv that I sometimes like named Kat Timpf. This one time she was talking about her ideal guy and she says she avoided guys with washboard abs.

You'd think that would be attractive to some women but not to a thinking woman.

Kat said, "If you have washboard abs you don't have time for me."

She's right. Such a guy might look nice on a calendar but he's going to spend every spare moment working out and not spending it with his lady.

And that comes right back to men (not mere 'guys') who are proven husbands and fathers. They are far more attractive than some guy with washboard abs and a self-absorbed personality.
 
I very much enjoy Kat, she has a way of appearing lost while being brilliant.
 
I have washboard abs and work out about 5-30 mins a day. Mostly just from physical work outside on the homestead.
 
frederick said:
it was the Word of God that ultimately united .....us and has sustained us through the turmoil.
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This was true for my husband and I as well.
The Word is living and still very relevant to LIFE. Those that live by it, see the value in it.
 
frederick said:
I used to have them when I was young and competitive bodybuilding. Both my wives were attracted to me physically, however it was the Word of God that ultimately united each of us and has sustained us through the turmoil.
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My point was, simply being physically fit does not in any way equal the broad generalization above.
 
MeganC said:
And that comes right back to men (not mere 'guys') who are proven husbands and fathers. They are far more attractive than some guy with washboard abs and a self-absorbed personality.
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I gotta say....I avoided guys that were good looking ...and acted like they knew it.
Some of the best looking people in the world have a degree of conceit that as far as I'm concerned tips their overall appeal into the negative numbers.
My husband was just a young man of 21 when I met him. He wasn't a proven husband or father but he was serious, brutally honest, and I could tell he wanted to do what was right (super attractive that circumcised heart).
He was also a country raised man who knew his way around horses and could milk goats too. He had strength of body from good old fashioned work AND strength of character.
I decided right away he was who I was waiting for.....and I couldn't have been more right!

If you thought country boys were a thing of the past, think again. We are raising a few good ole country boys here.
With only one taken so far. :) We've got one son ready for that next stage of life now, and four more after him growing up on the farm.
These guys dang near have it all. They can work like a man, handle livestock (including milking and slaughtering), they play music, DANCE! And they love kids and want to marry and raise a family.
They are all ORNERY! Have a sense of humor and like helping people. They can hunt, shoot, and volunteer as soon as they're old enough as first responders with the fire department.
And if that wasn't enough, they love the truth and will stand alone if they have to. Our oldest single son even decided to view our belief in polygyny (that has now become living polygyny) as a filter instead of a liability in finding a wife.....and he brought up the topic with his friends! The result? He ended up with two sisters from a nice family interested in discussing it. (And I hear from observers the younger one really seems to like him)

I feel beyond blessed. Are our sons perfect? Not hardly, but they want to learn and do what's right....and I think that's pretty wonderful.
They are like their dad. Not a proven husband or father yet, but with the right stuff to become one.
I hope and pray they find good God fearing women to do life with.
 
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