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MARRIAGE ADVICE GEMS

Mark C said:
Sorry, but very untrue. (But - I guess if YHVH can't keep His Word and His Covenants... ;) )

I can't help but think (see "Faustus" and even "Damn Yankees") that if people can make a "deal with the Devil" - and be bound by that, there is something here to ponder. Remember what Yakov said that cost him Rachel.

No, and even any kidding aside, THIS is why Yahushua said, "let your 'yes' be yes, and your 'no' be no..."
Our vows are vitally important. Numbers 30:2:

"If a man vow a vow unto YHVH, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth."

We have all seen some pretty creative excuses for saying that so many things have been 'done away with', I'm sure that could be made to apply to vows. After all, people do it with the marriage covenant all the time.

But I don't think it's a good way to enter a polygynous marriage.

And it's part of why I suggest Numbers chapter 30 is SO vital to understand, and apply.
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6 "And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul;
7 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.
14 But if her husband altogether hold his peace at her from day to day; then he establisheth all her vows, or all her bonds, which are upon her: he confirmeth them, because he held his peace at her in the day that he heard them."

This would stand then if a couple was married for more then a year? If the husband finds out 10 years into the marriage he wants to pursue polygyny but they both vowed to forsake others on their wedding day then SCRIPTURALLY they must keep the original vows they made? Neither "disallowed" the vows day to day for years. Unless of course, they release the vows and rewrite new ones? Where in Scripture does it speak about releasing vows? Or is that what disallow means?
 
leastofthese said:
This would stand then if a couple was married for more then a year? If the husband finds out 10 years into the marriage...
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There's nothing here about a year. (Although, separate issue, he doesn't go to war in that time.)
WHATEVER he finds out (when I teach this, I often note that a wife may, in the course of a marriage, remember some vow or oath made in her youth, or a former marriage - YEARS before the man who is then her covering) and ON THE DAY THAT HE HEARS it, he may cast that down. (Personal note: I have found this VERY valuable in dealing with vows that enable a demonic attack.)

leastofthese said:
Where in Scripture does it speak about releasing vows? Or is that what disallow means?
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With the exception of the process of 'putting away' and, with a 'get,' breaking covenant,in Deuteronomy 24:1-3, nowhere explicitly that I can recall. (The clever might see an option there. ;) )

But if someone DID take what are, in obvious hindsight, clearly anti-Scriptural vows, a mutual consent seems at least like the only [other] genuine option.
 
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Mark C said:
There's nothing here about a year. (Although, separate issue, he doesn't go to war in that time.)
WHATEVER he finds out (when I teach this, I often note that a wife may, in the course of a marriage, remember some vow or oath made in her youth, or a former marriage - YEARS before the man who is then her covering) and ON THE DAY THAT HE HEARS it, he may cast that down. (Personal note: I have found this VERY valuable in dealing with vows that enable a demonic attack.)


With the exception of the process of 'putting away' and, with a 'get,' breaking covenant,in Deuteronomy 24:1-3, nowhere explicitly that I can recall. (The clever might see an option there. ;) )

But if someone DID take what are, in obvious hindsight, clearly anti-Scriptural vows, a mutual consent seems at least like the only [other] genuine option.
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Thank you. I believe your answer was very clear and scriptural. That's what we need. Vows are sacred.
 
leastofthese said:
Thank you. I believe your answer was very clear and scriptural. That's what we need. Vows are sacred.
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I'm in the same exact boat. "Forsake all others" was part of the vow. I wasn't a Christian when I married my first (and current) wife. The only way I see myself righteously adding wives is if she agrees to it. If it becomes mutual consent -- then I can add additional wives into my family unit.
 
leastofthese said:
Thank you. I believe your answer was very clear and scriptural. That's what we need. Vows are sacred.
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Also, it would be difficult to even incorporate the 2nd wife if the first wife doesn't agree to it. Even if she does not file a divorce -- you don't want to be in rough waters while taking on such a task. Of course -- this is why you become on the same page with your first wife "before you marry her." If she doesn't agree to be submissive and obedient, then maybe she's not the right Christian candidate for marriage.
 
Mark C said:
Sorry, but very untrue. (But - I guess if YHVH can't keep His Word and His Covenants... ;) )

I can't help but think (see "Faustus" and even "Damn Yankees") that if people can make a "deal with the Devil" - and be bound by that, there is something here to ponder. Remember what Yakov said that cost him Rachel.

No, and even any kidding aside, THIS is why Yahushua said, "let your 'yes' be yes, and your 'no' be no..."
Our vows are vitally important. Numbers 30:2:

"If a man vow a vow unto YHVH, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth."

We have all seen some pretty creative excuses for saying that so many things have been 'done away with', I'm sure that could be made to apply to vows. After all, people do it with the marriage covenant all the time.

But I don't think it's a good way to enter a polygynous marriage.

And it's part of why I suggest Numbers chapter 30 is SO vital to understand, and apply.
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Yes, I knew about these verses and agree with it in principle.

My only question was, what if the vow violated the Bible, was anti-biblical, wrong, or even sinful. Should you still be held to it. Must you still keep it.

Crazy example, let's say you vowed to do something that was clearly wrong and sinful by scripture. Should you keep this vow or obey God and the Bible. According to the clear reading of this verse, you should keep the vow. I do not really think this would be the right thing to do.
 
NBTX11 said:
Yes, I knew about these verses and agree with it in principle.

My only question was, what if the vow violated the Bible, was anti-biblical, wrong, or even sinful. Should you still be held to it. Must you still keep it.

Crazy example, let's say you vowed to do something that was clearly wrong and sinful by scripture. Should you keep this vow or obey God and the Bible. According to the clear reading of this verse, you should keep the vow. I do not really think this would be the right thing to do.
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What do you mean? Are you saying vowing to monogamy is antibiblical?
If you vow to murder someone for a gang then later on get saved you should not keep that vow.
"Who the Son sets free is free indeed" John 8:36 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
We're not under the law but grace. We should never take advantage of that grace. This is why Jesus said,
34 "But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne:
35 Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.
36 Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.
37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil."
 
NBTX11 said:
Crazy example, let's say you vowed to do something that was clearly wrong and sinful by scripture.
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“4Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law.”

Sometimes the word “sinful” is used for something that we may not like, but sin is a serious issue. A vow to abstain from “all others” isn’t transgression of the law.
 
steve said:
“4Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law.”

Sometimes the word “sinful” is used for something that we may not like, but sin is a serious issue. A vow to abstain from “all others” isn’t transgression of the law.
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Agree. I guess my overall point was there could be times when you have to break a vow. It’s not an absolute command, which I’ve demonstrated. If keeping a vow is causing you to sin, you can’t keep it. It was presented in this thread that you have to keep every vow no matter what.
 
🤦🏿‍♂️👋
Hello guys, remember the good advice
JudahYAHites said:
Before getting married I received one piece of advice from a pastor that helped keep things in perspective...

"Marriage is just two imperfect people trying to make a perfect situation"

This extrapolates out to polygyny...

What positive advice have you received or advice that you can share to anyone starting on here starting out or already in marriage whether monogamous or polygynous?

******EDIT******

CLARIFICATION

PLEASE CAN WE HAVE ADVICE.

MEN GIVING ADVICE TO MEN AS SONS & BROTHERS
WOMEN GIVING ADVICE TO WOMEN AS DAUGHTERS AND SISTERS


THANK YOU 🙏🏽
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Imagine we are all in one room with this newly married couple, throuple, quadrouple, etc having been asked the original question, now, read through the thread being the conversation going on in the room.... 👀 Not the best

I was looking forward to read some godly wisdom and advice that would be great for visitors to the forum and for those I meet on my travels.

Everyone here has such a wide variety of lived experience, there is gold buried in here.

My favourite so far is...

WifeOfHisYouth said:
“Fight naked.” 😏
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Just so you know @WifeOfHisYouth this is going to be on tshirts... love it.
 
NBTX11 said:
My only question was, what if the vow violated the Bible, was anti-biblical, wrong, or even sinful. Should you still be held to it. Must you still keep it.
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Therein lies the rub. Again, it's why Yahushua says don't DO it to begin with: "Let your 'yes' be yes..."

And I mentioned just one example (Yakov's vow which evidently resulted in Rachel's death.) There are others (like Yiphtah/Jephtah and his daughter in Judges).

So, make t'shuvah (turn around, 'repent') and pray that He makes a way.

PS> I see others are thinking of the same story. ;)
 
leastofthese said:
What do you mean? Are you saying vowing to monogamy is antibiblical?
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And, yes, actually.

Would you make a vow to refuse any potential gift from Yah?

It's why that verse you quoted is SO apropos. And it's why - when I teach Numbers 30 - I usually note that when a husband/father hears ANY phrase from a woman under his covering that starts with anything LIKE, "So long as I live, I'll NEVER..."
...his "spidey sense" should activate. It's probably time to cast that down.

And NEVER forget: If so, "he bears her guilt."
 
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Mark C said:
And, yes, actually.

Would you make a vow to refuse any potential gift from Yah?

It's why that verse you quoted is SO apropos. And it's why - when I teach Numbers 30 - I usually note that when a husband/father hears ANY phrase from a woman under his covering that starts with anything LIKE, "So long as I live, I'll NEVER..."
...his "spidey sense" should activate. It's probably time to cast that down.

And NEVER forget: If so, "he bears her guilt."
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Yes, but if he agreed to those vows himself - "Forsake all others" - How can he cast out his own vow? Unless there is mutual consent between the husband and wife.
 
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