So here's a fun one. For those of you plurals out there, husbands and wives. What has been your experience in regards to libido when the husband is courting a prospect or when the new wife is still "new". How long after a prospect becomes a wife does it last for? Is there a general increase in libido for the husband? Do all wives benefit from this increase or only the new wife?
When courting do the existing wives notice an increase in libido themselves? During prospecting and new wife introduction is there an increase in libido among the wives or a decrease?
TMI Disclaimer:
Because you asked.
Also, my answers are based on my personal experience and observation. Which is what you asked for.
What has been your experience in regards to libido when the husband is courting a prospect or when the new wife is still "new".
I never noticed any increase in libido with Steve when he was courting. But after the wedding he was noticeably more interested in everyone, not just the new wife. But focusing on the new wife for sure. I've seen this in other poly families and at least in our fellowship we colloquially refer to this as
honeymoon sex. True, that's what it is, but we put a name to it.
How long after a prospect becomes a wife does it last for?
A year or two. Sometimes a little bit more. Sometimes less. I suppose you could say the honeymoon ardor tapers off over time.
Is there a general increase in libido for the husband? Do all wives benefit from this increase or only the new wife?
Oh yes.
When courting do the existing wives notice an increase in libido themselves? During prospecting and new wife introduction is there an increase in libido among the wives or a decrease?
This varies depending upon the woman. First wives in particular can be less interested in their man when he has a new wife. It is a big adjustment for some and it is understandable (Biblical arguments aside, women have feelings).
Other First wives will have the opposite reaction. Seeing their husband being attentive and sexually active with another woman can awaken their own interest in his attentions.
Speaking for myself when I joined my family as a plural I was equal parts naïve of sex, terrified of it, and also somewhat excited by it. After a rough start I eventually found myself fascinated and aroused by being with a man who was a proven husband and father. He'd had children with two women and so when he was with me it was very much on my mind that he could be making me pregnant.
The First wife, Shari, was not interested in sex at this point but their second wife Christie most definitely was.
After that and over some years we had three new women join the family while Shari left. When there was a new woman in the family Steve's interest in sex would increase and that was kind of nice! I'll also say that if a sister got pregnant I often found myself deeply desiring to have another baby. Ditto with my sisters to varying degrees.
Simultaneous pregnancies where two of us would be pregnant more or less a month apart was not uncommon. Our 'dry spells' were also synched for whatever reason. Usually because Steve was working away from home.
