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Ranked criteria for your family

theleastofthese said:
If I can't give out of good faith, I'll simply say "no." Expecting something in return seems a bit manipulative to me. I'd hate to be in the position of keeping score with close family and friends. I'd rather someone be honest and just deny my request if they feel it's too much to ask, and vice versa.
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It's natural. In good relationship you do favor and after sometime favor is returned. And so in endless cycle.

This is my friendship and family stick together. Doing favor for each others = helping each other.
 
MemeFan said:
It's natural. In good relationship you do favor and after sometime favor is returned. And so in endless cycle.

This is my friendship and family stick together. Doing favor for each others = helping each other.
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I can agree it's natural and has it's place, I just don't think that place is amongst people you truly trust.
 
Someone who is committed. Who takes their vows, commitment and marriage seriously. Someone who is loyal and is for the family. Will put our husband, this house, this family first over everything. When things get tough, stick to your commitment and not bail because it’s not fun or exciting anymore, we are family forever.
 
Sunflower said:
Someone who is committed. Who takes their vows, commitment and marriage seriously. Someone who is loyal and is for the family. Will put our husband, this house, this family first over everything. When things get tough, stick to your commitment and not bail because it’s not fun or exciting anymore, we are family forever.
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Based opinion haver has entered the chat
 
paterfamilias said:
I was going to put this in the men's section but it occurs to me that wives will absolutely have their own ideals in a new family sisterwife and that the single ladies will have plenty of criteria for the family they are seeking.

I am starting the thread so I will pitch mine first and y'all jump in so we can see if there is a lot of consensus or just tones of outliers etc.
Stable - can be a little crazy, prefer crazy fun or crazy smart or crazy loving but so long as it is all positive stuff and...stable. maybe just crazy enough to follow where I lead
Devoted to polygamy - I really would prefer that someone has taken the time to think it through and examined all the potential ups and downs and made a decision based on study of the plural marriage and not just wanting to try something new or it looked fun on TV
Smart - don't need to be a genius but both of us are talkers and for stoics pretty prosocial so the need to be able to have conversations are pretty fundamental
Must love/want kids - this should be pretty self explanatory
Prefer strong faith - sounds odd from me but I know that strong faith corolates to increased happiness, better life outcomes and...well, quite a list of positive outcomes
Potential best pal to first wife - self explanatory
Misc - obvious stuff everyone wants. Honest, loving, committed and so on. Less concerned about appearance than character. Pretty is nice but pretty doest make you a good wife

How about y'all? Especially the wives and single ladies searching. I imagine a bunch of the guys will have similar basic ideas to mine, so hearing y'all's may be more interesting. Inclufimg the ladies who have been through the successful process in the past and what you had in mind while searching
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Ideals:
Shared Faith and Moral Belief Structure - A house divided itself will not stand.
Biblical Patriarchal and Submission Understanding and Mindset - This mindset goes against most everything taught by Feminism, Egalitarianism and most all of mainstream society. It allows for polygyny to both make sense and able to be embraced to its maximum most beautiful potential. This flows into...
Aligns with Husbands/Patriarchs vision for family unit and...
Willingness to use individual skills and talents as a helpmeet to husband
Brains/Common Sense
Sobriety - Physical, and striving towards mental and emotional.
Self Improver - Someone who has taken upon themselves to grow, heal, and better themselves without relying on anyone else to fix them.
Love kids and want to have their own
Attractive to Husband - This is Physical, but also personality and inner beauty.
Misc etc. - Hard working, honest, willing to learn, etc.

Now that those basic ideals are out there.....here are some random traits which come to mind.

Narcissists, and you don't know who you are, need not apply (Edited per @steve 's correct additions)
Sheep wrestling/wrangling - experience preferred but not required, only willingness to jump right in.
Open to off grid/Little House on the Prairie lifestyle
Green thumb/Gardening experience a major plus (Wish I had this trait!)
Bookworms welcome
Tin Foil Hats - Bring your own
Understand the word Based
Shock people by stance on Women Voting
Basic Car maintenance knowledge
Marrying Gaston rather than the Beast (Kids, dog, guns, hunting, eggs...and etc involved) Willing to elaborate on why this is a positive thing.

Could go on but will stop there for now.
 
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Sunflower said:
Someone who is committed. Who takes their vows, commitment and marriage seriously. Someone who is loyal and is for the family. Will put our husband, this house, this family first over everything. When things get tough, stick to your commitment and not bail because it’s not fun or exciting anymore, we are family forever.
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I love this. You must go in with the mindset nothing will EVER break up this marriage or our home. No matter what.
 
HomesteadWife said:
Ideals:
Shared Faith and Moral Belief Structure - A house divided itself will not stand.
Biblical Patriarchal and Submission Understanding and Mindset - This mindset goes against most everything taught by Feminism, Egalitarianism and most all of mainstream society. It allows for polygyny to both make sense and able to be embraced to its maximum most beautiful potential. This flows into...
Aligns with Husbands/Patriarchs vision for family unit and...
Willingness to use individual skills and talents as a helpmeet to husband
Brains/Common Sense
Sobriety - Physical, and striving towards mental and emotional.
Self Improver - Someone who has taken upon themselves to grow, heal, and better themselves without relying on anyone else to fix them.
Love kids and want to have their own
Attractive to Husband - This is Physical, but also personality and inner beauty.
Misc etc. - Hard working, honest, willing to learn, etc.

Now that those basic ideals are out there.....here are some random traits which come to mind.

No narcissists need apply
Sheep wrestling/wrangling - experience preferred but not required, only willingness to jump right in.
Open to off grid/Little House on the Prairie lifestyle
Green thumb/Gardening experience a major plus (Wish I had this trait!)
Bookworms welcome
Tin Foil Hats - Bring your own
Understand the word Based
Shock people by stance on Women Voting
Basic Car maintenance knowledge
Marrying Gaston rather than the Beast (Kids, dog, guns, hunting, eggs...and etc involved) Willing to elaborate on why this is a positive thing.

Could go on but will stop there for now.
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Dual sword wielding level based opinions haver has entered the chat
 
HomesteadWife said:
True.

If someone can acknowledge THEY have something they need to change/improve, then they have the ability to do so.

If someone is unwilling to acknowledge any responsibility - Always the victims/taking no responsibility - then they can move along.
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How many narcissists know the truth about themselves?
They usually get pretty incensed when you even hint that they might have a problem.
 
steve said:
How many narcissists know the truth about themselves?
They usually get pretty incensed when you even hint that they might have a problem.
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.00001 percent, or something in that range....That's why the test is to see if they can acknowledge they may have a problem.

If they can see a glimmer of this that either means that they weren't actually a full blown narcissist or that they may have a glimmer of a chance of recovery.
 
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