So, here's my experience.
On Friday night, we all went as a family to what was advertised as a revival/healing event being held in the city. We took 5 of the children with us. Samuel, our 5 year old Noah, and I, all need healing for some permanent problems we have. I have a problem with my pelvis that I was told is incurable, and I figured lets give it a go. I, as always, have complete faith that God can heal me, and thought if there was someone there with the gift of healing from God then that was perfect.
The worship was amazing. The children and I had the time of our lives. The kids were up the front with me, dancing and waving ribbons and flags. I truly felt the Holy Spirit there.
After worship the guy leading it, Joseph, started calling people up by name or ailment and laying hands on them, having them fall to the ground being slain in the spirit, and cast demons out of people. Honestly, I'd never seen that before, it was pretty neat to watch.
Then Joseph started talking, telling his story and preaching etc. After a while he got people to stand up who were wanting to get close to God and become Christians and then told them to come up the front. After this there just seemed to be a line of people going up the front for prayer. At no time did anyone actually call people up for healing, but we figured that was what was happening. So up we went, Samuel, Noah, and I.
First, a helper woman took me up to Joseph to pray for me. He touched my forehead, then held my hand, mumbled something incoherent and distracted, then turned and walked off mid-sentance to go pray for someone else. I was confused, and left standing there on my own. After a while another woman came up to pray for me. She didn't ask me what I wanted.
I wanted healing. I wanted prayer for my pelvis. I did not want to be slain in the spirit. But, that was what happened. Only, the thing is, it wasn't anything like what I've read about. What it felt like, was kind of like when you go downhill on a rollercoaster, and you feel like your stomach has been left behind. That combined with being really lightheaded meant I couldn't stand and I dropped down onto my butt. While sitting there the woman (catcher) behind me asked if I was ok. I said yes, so they both walked off and left me. I then tried to stand but went woomph backwards onto my back. I lay there for a while, just staring at the ceiling, and asking God to heal me. The moment I realised I could get up, I did, and knew immediately I wasn't healed. Which was understandable, since no prayer for healing had occurred except for my own.
My priority then was getting prayer for Noah. We waited for a while but everyone was busy. Eventually Joseph had wandered over our way, so I asked if he could pray for Noah, because he has bad anxiety. He did pray for him, but the music was so loud (it was loud the whole time to 'create atmosphere' I'm guessing) that I couldn't hear him. But since Noah was sitting on Samuel's knee, he did hear. As soon as Joseph wandered off, Samuel asked me why I'd said all that nonsense about Noah to him. After a confused exchange, we realised that Joseph had been completely making things up. He'd been praying for the stopping of bad dreams and problems sleeping amongst other things. This has never been a problem for Noah.
We then talked about leaving, but Samuel wanted me to have one last go at actually getting healing for myself. So, up I went again. Then the woman who had prayed for me earlier laughed and said "Can't get enough huh?" or something like that. I explained to her that I actually needed healing, which she seemed a bit hesitant about, but she put her hands on my hips and prayed one sentence. Then she said "Do you feel the heat?" I said no, I didn't. She then prayed one more sentence and asked again. Still no. She then asked if her hands were in the right spot, and we rearranged things a bit. Then she started praying and just pushing on me all the time. I think I took about 5 steps backwards before I gave in and let myself fall back into the catcher behind me and decided, once again, just to pray myself. The moment I was on the floor the two women just walked away and didn't look back. Just to be clear here, I was not slain in the spirit this time, I was very aware of what I was doing and just wanted the woman to stop trying to push me over all the time.
And yeah, I'm not healed. Not even a little bit.
So, what did I experience? What happened? I felt something for sure, but not what I expected. I've felt the power of the Holy Spirit, and this wasn't it. It did not feel powerful. I've felt the love of the Holy Spirit and this wasn't it. It didn't affect my emotions or thoughts or feelings about God in any way. I don't feel any closer to Him. He didn't speak to me. I certainly wasn't healed. So what was the point? And was it even God? And if it wasn't, then what the heck was it?!
Honestly, I'm not even sure that these people were focused on God, there seemed to more be a result they wanted rather than anything else. And yet, I saw people have demons cast out of them. Healing though, I can't confirm, it's hard to show instant results from the healing of osteoporosis and sleep apnea for example, which is what they said they were healing.
I am sure that I did not make it happen because I wanted it to. That was not why I was there, I was not seeking an experience with the Holy Spirit (except for healing, which I guess you could say is an experience, lol, but that's a bit different).
Something happened to me, and it didn't feel like God. That is what is concerning me.
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