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Taken in Hand/Domestic Discipline

Praying. :D
 
Praying
 
Will be praying for you.
 
Jennifer said:
This reminded me of this clip.
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Our kids think that movie scene is hilarious! It's worth noting too her reaction to the event. Women are not usually happy with getting everything their way. They just want to see if the man is strong enough to handle the challenge.
 
Haha! That was the good old days. Can you imagine Hollywood making a classic like this now!? It would be boycotted and all over the mainstream news. I'm going to have to watch this now. John Wayne was one of my heroes when I was a kid so def have to check it out
 
Lol
 
This is something my DH and I have thought about for a long time. He is holding off as he can’t stand the thought of hurting me!
If you can offer me any advice I would welcome it! All the best in your new venture x
 
Hales said:
This is something my DH and I have thought about for a long time. He is holding off as he can’t stand the thought of hurting me!
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My hubby has no interest at all in physically disciplining a wife, but he only has me...and I want to follow.
I can't stand the thought of causing him grief or problems....so we tend to understand each others unintentional goofs, and just keep working out the details of life.
 
@Hales It seems to me that if your DH can't stand the thought of hurting you... then going into something like DD or whatever is just complicating what should be very simple. You know you should submit to him, so submit. No need to add more steps in.
Loving you is his responsibility, submitting is yours. You shouldn't need physical violence to remind you to submit any more than he should need you to nag him to remind him to love you.
 
Slumberfreeze said:
@Hales It seems to me that if your DH can't stand the thought of hurting you... then going into something like DD or whatever is just complicating what should be very simple. You know you should submit to him, so submit. No need to add more steps in.
Loving you is his responsibility, submitting is yours. You shouldn't need physical violence to remind you to submit any more than he should need you to nag him to remind him to love you.
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This is an overly simplistic and ideal view of life and female psychology. Reality is much more complex. Some women find the corporal punishment very helpful, desirable even. To them, it is no more violence than it is for a parent who uses corporal punishment with their sons/daughters.

Of course they should just submit, but that is true of all women and yet very few do. To say they 'just should' isn't helpful to real life relationships.
 
I really don't want to engage on this thread, but here we go....

If I could tweak Slumber's contribution a bit, I'd say adult submission without beatings is a starting place for figuring out how the relationship is supposed to work (not just a simplistic slogan à la Nike or Nancy Reagan). If one can't submit simply because one is told and one understands one is supposed to submit, then something has gone somewhat amiss that wants looking into.

I reject the idea that there is something inherent in female nature that requires an ongoing, semi-permanent series of corporal punishments to keep that nature in check.

Compare corporal punishment for men (sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander): If we really understood the psychology of corporal punishment, I think most men would rather endure a painful-without-being-outright-torture beating in the town square than get locked up without livelihood for any significant length of time. And maybe there would be some men who just needed beating, regularly and vigorously, because they were just never gonna learn. But for the most part, the threat of beating is there as a deterrent to misconduct, and shouldn't have to be administered much to teach a permanent lesson about where the lines are.

I have spanked my sons and daughters from very young to various ages (depending on their personality), but the object is to outgrow the need for that, to 'train them in righteousness', to equip them to act with self-control as functional adults. If one of my kids—male or female—hits puberty and then mid-adolescence and still requires beatings to keep in line, something has gone horribly wrong, in my opinion (thanks, @PeteR!).

[NB - I'm not saying anything about rough foreplay and various kinks—you do you. But the topic here is discipline.]

Slumber was responding to the comment that the husband "can't stand the thought of hurting" the wife. The solution to that 'problem' is simple—he doesn't have to. I don't think that reluctance is something that he should have to 'get over' so he can get with somebody else's program.

If a woman just enjoys being spanked, then they can work the details of that out between themselves. But I think the goal of any discipline should be for adult women to be able to submit to the husband's leadership out of love and a desire to obey God's commandments (see Jolene's post above), rather than out of fear of corporal punishment.

My two cents. As always, do what you believe God's telling you to do.
 
I have been wanting to give an update. It's hard to know people and their quirks over the few texts we have posted, but @Soldier's Psalm and I have always been very laid back, go-with-the-flow people. It's a great way to live life most of the time, but we started just sweeping things under the rug. We have been married for over seven years and a lot of the struggles we had in the beginning were still here. We had tried talking about it, yelling, arguing, crying, and almost calling it quits. This was almost like a last ditch effort, and I can tell you it has helped tremendously. He established what are "zero tolerance" issues (things we both knew had to be fixed) and others he gives me a little bit of leniency with. He has not had to discipline me, just give me a reminder here and there, and we have seen major progress in areas I've been stagnant in.
 
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That's the kind of thing that makes sense to me. I'm not saying DD doesn't have its place in some cases, either because of something acute that comes up or because of a chronic buildup of stuff. But in those cases, often just the awareness of the possibility and the deterrent effect will do the job.
 
I will not go into details but there was a brief period of time when this sort of thing proved very helpful. It is definitely capable of being both positive and helpful. But this is advanced level stuff and should be approached very carefully.
 
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