Talking or courting?

[steve]

I listened to a podcast (YouTube, actually, but I was driving, so it was a “podcast”) of an interview with a divorced woman who went on 45 first dates over the course of a year. She never found what she was looking for.
She didn’t identify where the suckers came from, but I would assume social media apps.

Before you ask, she did admit to sleeping with a couple of them. One of whom stayed her friend, but not with benefits.

 

[frederick]

I listened to a podcast (YouTube, actually, but I was driving, so it was a “podcast”) of an interview with a divorced woman who went on 45 first dates over the course of a year. She never found what she was looking for.
She didn’t identify where the suckers came from, but I would assume social media apps.

Before you ask, she did admit to sleeping with a couple of them. One of whom stayed her friend, but not with benefits.

Did she say how her divorce came about?

Social media/dating apps are very popular and widely accepted. Not all of them are bad but they do make it very easy to become part of the "hook-up" culture.

 

[paterfamilias]

To answer the original question...
Just on a personal level I would see it as a danger signal if a puy who practices or intends polygamy at Minimum is not filling in his wife on talking to a woman. Maybe she is a perspective and maybe she is not. That can evolve. But it is simply good manners.

I have learned that some woman would actually get bent if you are too open and shared chat logs with ones wife in hopes that she would have some commentary or just to keep her looped in. Silly lumpheaded me did not see the need for privacy in that context as the goal was to build family as well as individual compatibility testing. Seems I was mistaken.

Generally speaking I try when talking to a lady to be as up front as possible if I have met her through circumstances where she knows that polygamy is part of the equation. We can talk about how things work fairly bluntly and work towards seeing if talking can move forward to actual courting.

In a couple of cases we...I suppose just felt a spark or some such and seemed to go straight to courting without slowing down. Fell in love with one of them and married her. The other had a mental health issue and went peculiar and then disappeared. Has tried to come back to us. Odd circumstances.

In the long run I think I would try to be as clear and as explicit as possible in an initial talking phase but to try not to skip that phase. There will be times when you feel very attracted to someone who will turn out not to be a correct match. Even if you have to speed run the talking and getting to know you phase, don't skip it. There may be hard limit deal breaker issues you want to encounter Before feeling emotionally attacked. This is for both sides.
We have encountered several deal breaker circumstances for us that compatibility wipe out potential for compatibility. Trust me, it really sucks to learn those things in the middle of emotionally committed courting.
Good luck

 

[steve]

Did she say how her divorce came about?

Social media/dating apps are very popular and widely accepted. Not all of them are bad but they do make it very easy to become part of the "hook-up" culture.

I have no clue.
I mostly made the post to illustrate one of the scenarios that exists out there when a guy is looking, a scenario in which the woman is basically a professional dater. Why wouldn’t they, it’s all free. She never even split a check.
And I’m sure that her “dinner count” is extremely low in comparison to some.

Men can be simps.

 

[paterfamilias]

I have no clue.
I mostly made the post to illustrate one of the scenarios that exists out there when a guy is looking, a scenario in which the woman is basically a professional dater. Why wouldn’t they, it’s all free. She never even split a check.
And I’m sure that her “dinner count” is extremely low in comparison to some.

Men can be simps.

That whole story and idea leaves a very bad taste in my mind.