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This has been on my mind

Tina Galloway

Tina Galloway

Member
Real Person
Female
What would happen if God forbid my husband passed away or any other women's husband would a bf member steep foward ?
Just been on my mind and thought I should ask has this happened?

And if I passed ?
 
Tina, I don’t know of anyone on the forum that views our responsibilities to each other in a way similar to a leverite marriage, but there may be some who think that way. Personally, I wouldn’t be opposed to taking the wife of a friend of mine if he were to pass away, but I also don’t think of that as an obligation.

I think 1 Timothy 5 applies here:

1 Timothy 5:3 Honour widows that are widows indeed. 4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God. 5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. 6 But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth. 7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless.8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 9 Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, 10 Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.11 But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; 12 Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. 13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. 14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 15 For some are already turned aside after Satan.16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.​

As I read that, if a window is over 60 and has no relative to care for her, then the church should care for her. If she is under 60, she should remarry. Now, that said, I think this could be taken as a modern leverite marriage in a biblically-minded church, that another man of the church should step up and take his brother’s wife after his passing.

Does this apply to Biblical Families? I don’t feel that way at this time. I don’t see this as a church. While we come together with like beliefs related to biblical marriage and some other things, there are also strong disagreements on some positions here too. There are all flavors of Christians here from many denominations and many from no denomination. There are also some here who aren’t Christian at all. I certainly would not want a non-Christian man to take my wife if I were to pass.
 
If anything happened to me I personally would prefer a Christian man from this group step in and marry mine over most that I know personally outside this ministry... as far as whether or not I would do the same? If I believed that God was directing it sure I would. But I agree with @aineo and I don’t view it as something we would be compelled to do scripturaly...
 
Agreed with @aineo and @Pacman . In a more functional community, something I do think the Father will eventually move His people toward, a form of levirate marriage along what seems suggested in this passage may develop as women will likely outnumber men, maybe by a wide margin, ala Is. 4:1.

One point worth considering, aineo, is that in context 60 then was about like 80 now... so, imho, 60 might not be the hard cutoff...
 
The fact that the government is now the provider for many makes it the defacto husband nowadays.
This complicated the issue, in my opinion.

But I would agree that 80 is the new 60.
 
In context of knowing OF people in a segment of society that might be beneficial in such circumstances, I would say the chances of a woman to find a place in an established biblical home would be greater here than a local church. Not a requirement, but it does create possibilities.
 
Ancient Paths said:
as women will likely outnumber men, maybe by a wide margin, ala Is. 4:1.
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This is the commonly held reason for that verse, but I believe that there is a more relevant truth about the society that will exist.
Looking at the previous chapters, we see a very haughty attitude in the females. I think that this attitude combined with a very non-manly attitude in the males combines to create a society of self centered people going their own ways. (MGTOW, for one)
Is. 1:4 is where the shift is occurring towards righteousness as the women realize that they belong in a relationship with male leadership and they choose a proven leader as opposed to all of the available males.
Let’s face it, we will also be losing females in future wars as they become more and more integrated in the military, something that wasn’t contemplated in the past. (With the exception of genocide)
 
After having been married for 15 years, if something happened to my husband and it could considering his career, I don't think I would be inclined to find another husband. I have had children and can no longer have anymore because of medical issues. I am also set financially if such an event were to occur. If I remarried it would not be out of necessity and therefore I don't see myself ever desiring another man. He would have to be someone super special and have a need for me to catch my eye and make me want to live with him. I think men are different in this respect. I think they have a much harder time being without a mate. Women do you find this true about yourselves, too? I just think it would be hard to build that bond with someone else after having already shared it with a man you are crazy about for so many years and had babies with. I guess if I were facing financial ruin or hadn't had children, I might be more inclined.
 
rockfox said:
I think a 60 year year old back then is functionally like a 60 year old today. I don't really buy the nasty brutish short version of history.
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Do you have an opinion as to why that particular age was chosen then?
It seems to me that women are completely productive at that age, 80 probably being a bit of a hyperbole.
 
Jennifer said:
After having been married for 15 years, if something happened to my husband and it could considering his career, I don't think I would be inclined to find another husband. I have had children and can no longer have anymore because of medical issues. I am also set financially if such an event were to occur. If I remarried it would not be out of necessity and therefore I don't see myself ever desiring another man. He would have to be someone super special and have a need for me to catch my eye and make me want to live with him. I think men are different in this respect. I think they have a much harder time being without a mate. Women do you find this true about yourselves, too? I just think it would be hard to build that bond with someone else after having already shared it with a man you are crazy about for so many years and had babies with. I guess if I were facing financial ruin or hadn't had children, I might be more inclined.
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And I would not be against finding another husband, it would just be very difficult and I would not be naturally inclined to do it.
 
Then there is the timing factor. The grieving process. As we’ve been reading, you do you, everyone is different. At what point are you ready to look again? Plus, are you wanting a room mate or a new love in your life? There are no set guidelines, with exception of maybe the Leverite law, of what to do after the death of a spouse.
 
I don't think 1 Timothy 5 is about establishing support only for the decrepit. Rather, I read it as establishing a small number of elderly women who are devoted to God, and supporting them. Even many elderly women wouldn't qualify, because only the most righteous and respected were to go on the list.

I see this list as being a resource for the church. A set of women whose skills and experience are valued so much the church supports them directly, leaving them free full-time to minister to and train the younger women without needing to worry about their own provision,

Younger widows were not to go on the list because they would not be so 100% devoted to the Messiah (v11-12), and would choose to leave the list and marry. Why would that be a bad thing, if this were just about provision? It's a problem because it is the breach of some sort of agreement, or possibly even a vow.

I see this chapter as establishing the first nuns.

This order was then messed up by allowing young virgins to become nuns in direct defiance of scripture, and many problems have followed. But I can see great merit in an order of elderly women devoted wholeheartedly to God.

It's not a social welfare scheme.

And 60 means 60. To say otherwise is to reinterpret scripture on the opinions of scientists and hstorians and on the assumption that this is about being old and decrepit. I'd actually say that if women at 60 are more capable today (which is very debatable), that just means this order of women can do even more for the church, which is a good thing. Keep enlisting those fit and able 60-year-olds.
 
aineo said:
Tina, I don’t know of anyone on the forum that views our responsibilities to each other in a way similar to a leverite marriage, but there may be some who think that way. Personally, I wouldn’t be opposed to taking the wife of a friend of mine if he were to pass away, but I also don’t think of that as an obligation.

I think 1 Timothy 5 applies here:

1 Timothy 5:3 Honour widows that are widows indeed. 4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God. 5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. 6 But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth. 7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless.8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 9 Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, 10 Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.11 But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; 12 Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. 13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. 14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 15 For some are already turned aside after Satan.16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.​

As I read that, if a window is over 60 and has no relative to care for her, then the church should care for her. If she is under 60, she should remarry. Now, that said, I think this could be taken as a modern leverite marriage in a biblically-minded church, that another man of the church should step up and take his brother’s wife after his passing.

Does this apply to Biblical Families? I don’t feel that way at this time. I don’t see this as a church. While we come together with like beliefs related to biblical marriage and some other things, there are also strong disagreements on some positions here too. There are all flavors of Christians here from many denominations and many from no denomination. There are also some here who aren’t Christian at all. I certainly would not want a non-Christian man to take my wife if I were to pass.
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Yes very good point .
I just thought it was a interesting topic to talk about.
 
Phillip said:
Then there is the timing factor. The grieving process. As we’ve been reading, you do you, everyone is different. At what point are you ready to look again? Plus, are you wanting a room mate or a new love in your life? There are no set guidelines, with exception of maybe the Leverite law, of what to do after the death of a spouse.
Click to expand...
Greaving can take along time I know I would.
 
Honor widows who are widows indeed; 4but if any widow has children or grandchildren, they must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God. 5Now she who is a widow indeed and who has been left alone, has fixed her hope on God and continues in entreaties and prayers night and day. 6But she who gives herself to wanton pleasure is dead even while she lives. 7Prescribe these things as well, so that they may be above reproach. 8But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
9A widow is to be put on the list only if she is not less than sixty years old, having been the wife of one man, 10having a reputation for good works; and if she has brought up children, if she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has assisted those in distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work. 11But refuse to put younger widows on the list, for when they feel sensual desires in disregard of Christ, they want to get married, 12thus incurring condemnation, because they have set aside their previous pledge. 13At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention. 14Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach; 15for some have already turned aside to follow Satan. 16If any woman who is a believer has dependent widows, she must assist them and the church must not be burdened, so that it may assist those who are widows indeed.
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I'd guess that 60 is related to that being an age by which most if not all women would have gone through menopause and the hormonal changes that results in. Basically, grandmothers. Juxtapose that against "feel sensual desires in disregard of Christ, they want to get married".
 
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