Whose responsibility is it to earn money?

[theleastofthese]

Oh stop being a drama queen. The thread was split because there was a sub discussion to be had that was unrelated to the OP's question.

Yet it wasn't unrelated. It was deemed unrelated by people who disagreed with it and I've repeatedly pointed out why it was related to the OP's question. I guess we're competing for biggest diva.

 

[paterfamilias]

Moderator note: The first 15 posts were originally in the below thread, and have been separated to allow two different lines of discussion to be pursued with clarity. Check the original thread also to understand the context.

How much money should I be making before I get married?

I am 26 years old and single. I know that having a family is expensive and I want to be financially responsible and not get married and have children before I can afford to. Right now I have a steady job and I make enough money to pay for the things that I need and to save a little bit. I could...

www.biblicalfamilies.org

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Forgive me for coming in all cynical, and please don't think I'm discouraging you from seeking a wife. However, some of the men offering you advice are much older than 26. Most haven't attempted to establish themselves from the ground up in the present-day economy. No amount of canning, sewing, or gardening is really going to put a substantial dent in the present cost of living.

I am older but just jumping in and I will disagree in detail but get the point with respect to a younger guy trying to get established and the canning gardening shenanigans not being as big of a help as one might like.

I am a food preservation nerd and can tell you that gardening and canning etc is generally a pretty large initial cost and takes a while to show benefits...possibly years. I say this because I have been through the process in the last 3-4 years.
The way a woman can make a vastly larger difference is in a +/- related fashion is via being a home economics badass. Couponing, using the applications for tracking all of the grocery sales, making ones own cleaning agents from scratch...and speaking of scratch, cook every meal from ingredients purchased on sale and in bulk. No eating out, make your coffee at home etc etc etc...don't have a tonne of unneeded subscription services and so on. There is budgeting and just staying on top of all of the household expenditures and being way ahead of that curve
Perhaps I fall into the old foggy set but I am personally doing all of that stuff and living cheap as chips. (*Puffs out hairy manly chest like I just made a big point before going into a coughing fit)You have indicated that you are pretty type A, so I am assuming that you do some of this stuff as well with respect to being a manager of your life.

I definitely think a couple in their mid 20s can absolutely live their lives that way as well. Info and resources galore available to help one learn to manage their lives in a tight fisted manner.

Now for my boomer take...even though I am not a boomer. So back in my day quivering voice mode where I will tell you about working up hill in the snow both ways to school ten miles and having to keep my nose to 3 concurrent grindstones.

In re money and youth.
I would think that with youth comes great lashings of energy. If we are talking in terms of a young couple then shouldn't both have some sort of part time or "side hustle" (hate current year slang) or better still a home business where the couple is working together.
After college, I kept my lawn business that paid for our school going for a while and my wife managed the accounts, money and labor schedule of the big dumb ape ie me.
Mileage will differ by couple but working together is the big thing in my mind.

Expecting a wife to do all of this while a husband is seeking other women to marry? This is what sounds like entitled princess behavior...by the husband.

Correct.
All of the work and process should be shared by the family. It should be a group project. All of it.

There's no guarantee that a woman will be more devoted to you or that your life together will be better because she struggled along with you..

Guarantee? Nope, you are accurate about no guarantee. That said,, is it more likely that heads together and teamwork making the dream work and other platitudes inserted here do have more than a little validity? Oh my yes

One of the things men often boast about when selling the idea of plural marriage is the benefit of joining an already established family.

not sure I would couch that as a brag...
tough not to see the remarks...well, any remarks really, through one's own personal lense.
I make the statement that joining an established family usually has a single woman joining an established family rather than the other way around and bringing more to the party so to speak.
That said, if any extremely successful or affluent woman wants to take an interest in a big dumb ape...I will not complain.
In fact, there was a woman who did not work out that we talked to for a couple of weeks who was pretty affluent. She had passive income of about 750k a year and significant assets both real and cash. She was saying that if we got on that the wanted to ask me to stop working, find us land and home in the country then stay home to be a full time father and husband. It didn't work out but that idea...that idea really made a big impression on me.
So if you have a loony friend with money that wants a mostly house trained verbose ape, you know where to direct her.

Yet the first wife must struggle along with you in the beginning? To what end? Struggling by your side, just to share her husband at the end of the day.

I definitely see the point. Do still believe that the struggle if needed should be shared and that the man should always try to take the lions share of physical stress naturally.

That said,, plural marriage does involve sharing one's husband...certainly. That is not the point of it however and the sharing is just a part of the equation.

to my mind at least,, the notion of plural marriage is about family. Building a bigger, happier, likely more boisterous and certainly super alive and full of raising crumb crunchers family.

Maybe I am in the minority on that, I don't read the seeking profiles of families seeking. I did that in the past and just got bitter seeing a tonne of narcissistic douches and hedonistic clowns. I would swear though that my attitudes should be fairly common ones shared by much of the families seeking...no?



finding women who are receptive to poly is challenging enough, even for financially successful men. Being at home with their children is what women need and want most. Don't be surprised when ladies aren't queued up at your doorstep, begging for the opportunity to work outside of the household, away from their children, in order to help financially contribute to a husband's household because he wants more wives and children than he can afford.


No argument there...by the same token, you appear to be making the point that single woman should be seeking circumstances by which a system is in place already to allow her to make her contributions at home...moming, wifeing, home economics management etc.

I agree you should have your ability to not over stress assets and that one should be capable of expansion. Have spoken to several who were living/had lived in ways I certainly would not be comfortable with myself

I imagine that a lot of all of this why you frequently find middle aged and established couples looking as it does take some time if one is not dripping with cash at the outset or not taking an Andrew Tate like route and grifting a tonne of money off of retards

 

[MemeFan]

This is most funny thread of forum now.

Autistic men unable to aknowledge @theleastofthese point like that husband should enable wife max possible time with children and instead going how wife is useful in home economics and solving problem of cust cutting.

This scene is like reading marriage advice book for men. You know, advice don't jump into solving problem, aknowledge wife's emotion. What I didn't except is whole male part of forum disregarding this advice. Unbeliveable.

And you are JUST now figuring out that home business can be run by husband giving tasks to wives, spanking worst wife and rewarding best worker of day. Built-in method of performance improvement. Not that I recommend actually using this.

Somehow I have idea I had written something similar idea, but wasn't able to find it.