But, do we have to use the phrase “empowering women”??
@Asforme&myhouse--you might have just "stepped in it"! SQUISH--oops!!!
Feel free to throw my 2 cents worth away when you're done reading this, but the word "empower" in any dynamic
is very powerful. Please consider these concepts. Keep in mind that empowerment leads but also gives CHOICES.
1.) To not empower is to enslave
2.) One who is not empowered has no impetus to participate willingly
3.) Human beings blossom under the sunshine of empowerment and wither to death without it
4.) It costs little to afford empowerment yet nets colossal dividends in the end
5.) One of the most effective methods of leadership is to empower those under you
You're going to see me consistently drawing parallels with my anecdotal example to that of the home/marriage/husband-wife relationship regarding empowerment.
I delight to empower every student who enters my classroom, no matter the age, nor duration for which that student may remain in my tutelage (I work with students ranging fron K-5 through adulthood--and there's no cap on that end.) If someone walks through my door, I know God sent them.
He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing. Immediately I begin seeking His guidance and wisdom as to just how He envisions me touching that individual's life for His honor and glory. I must begin to "learn" that student.
Dwell together with them according to knowledge. Then I must see beyond where they are and see them as my Savior sees them--their potential, their God-given talents and strengths. I must start where they are but begin teaching to their potential. Ephesians 5:24-29 spells this concept out in the context of marriage in husband to wife.
24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Students coming to me from the government schools (some private schools and even some home schools) seldom know what it's like to have a teacher who really cares about them OR cares that they learn. They've often shut down, are afraid to ask even the simplest of questions, and have absolutely no self-confidence that they can learn or have any self-worth. I must win their confidence, which in turn wins their heart, and establishes trust that they are in a safe place that nurtures them. I do all of this because that is what Yeshua does for each of us when we first turn to Him for salvation. TRUST is established. I'm willing to spend as much effort and time as is needed to lay those footings for the foundation that I'm getting ready to pour for their academic structure. They are expected to function within the guidelines of the classroom which are in place for everyone else's safety and security. Infractions are dealt with kindly, immediately, but firmly with a clear explanation of what went wrong, how it could have been done correctly, and with assurance that I have confidence they will do better next time. We are always in a face-to-face dialogue. I let them see my disappointment with their behavior, my smile as I talk of how it should have been handled, and my joy in what I anticipate from them in coming days. I'm vulnerable but always optomistic. I'm empowering them to make choices. I'm teaching them to fish and confidently trusting them to begin fishing with the tools I'm handing them. It's often the first time this has happened in their lives, because many homes aren't even doing this, let alone the government educational zoos. The fear of failure, not being loved, not being able to ask questions, never being given space to learn without judgment--all of that begins to melt away under the Son's rays of love. I see their countenances begin to change, their body language begins to change, and it won't be long until I see them actively begin to participate in their journey of learning, and then they begin to love it! It's "Katie bar the door" once that happens because that inner drive and desire and thirst of knowledge, success, and achievement that's in every human being kicks in, and there's no holding them back. I didn't demand, command, verbally beat into submission, threaten, coerce, or kick them to the curb. I empowered them by believing in them, accepting them for who they were, and invited them to join me in the adventure of learning. It doesn't take them long to realize I've handed them the baton and am willing to run the race with them. It's thrilling beyond words when you see a student make that turn.
You've got to know my perspective. When I began teaching in Christian schools in 1974 corporal punishment was still considered acceptable by most administrations and encouraged in educational seminars. We were always being instructed on how to hand out the
demerits and lists of infractions for which
demerits could be earned. Then slowly the social temperature began to change in the courts and corporal punishment has all but disappeared from the educational scene today. Gradually the idea of merits AND demerits began to be promoted. I continued to control my classroom with the demerit system because that was the most tangible method of correction plus detentions after school. I was totally dissatisied with the results and the rat race that ensued with tracking and keeping up with all of that. So about 9 years ago I decided to experiment in my Summer School session with a "no demerit" classroom. I put rewards out in front of the students and warned that if they didn't appreciate the idea of having a "no demerit" classroom, I would be forced to put some back in place. I empowered them with that choice. They stepped up and
loved it! For 3 summers I tested that approach--it never failed. When the next school year started I'd step right back into the demerit/merit combination system and eventually wonder why I ever had, once I got a few weeks into the school year. There was always this fear that it wouldn't work with a larger group of students which was always the case for the school year compared to the Summer School sessions.
Last year I ran the entire year with NO demerits in place, merits able to be earned at multiple levels, and finished one of the most successful years I've had in 35 years of teaching with ACE. Yes, there were times when I had to deal with infractions, but it was done without corporal punishment, detention, or demerits. I just finished the first week of this new year. My student roster has doubled from last year so there are many new students who've never seen how an ACE classroom is supposed to operate. However, laying the groundwork, establishing guidelines and rules, assuring them that I do love them and will deal with infractions, but giving them the opportunity to join in the learning journey with freedom and empowerment has set the stage for another great year--that may just top last year!
Empowering a wife to make positive and mature choices doesn't mean you're not in control as the head or that you're a weak leader. IMHO, it says the exact opposite. You're not just a man who's taken a wife, you're THE MAN who knows how to lead, guide, direct, love, bring along gently, lovingly, patiently because you know in the end you're going to have a crown jewel that is polished and will shine with the brilliance of God's light. She will not only reflect her Saviour's light, she will reflect your Saviour's light flowing through you to her also. I know it's a risk one takes when choosing to empower another, but you couldn't pay me to ever step back into the classrooms which were once controlled by corporal punishment, detentions, and
demerits with a master/slave mentality. I do believe in correct methods of corporal discipline with a parent/child relationship because Scripture teaches it. However, as a teacher, I'm not that student's parent. As a husband, you're not your wife's dad.
Okay, I'm done--so you can crumple this up and throw it away if you choose--I've just empowered you!
I do hope I've given you some food for thought on which to meditate. Blessings!
