It's easy to consider something and make the mistake of thinking only the one thing would change (i.e., in this case, your mother marrying you off for the wrong reasons), but if our culture were supportive of arranged marriages, then your mother would be a whole different person about it and would have raised you differently, and, most importantly, she would have been preparing herself throughout her life to make the
proper choice for you.
I would even go so far as to say that, in most cases, parents (who like to tingle themselves) would, if they focused on it, be even better than most of their children at predicting which potential mates would bring on tingles for their children. Because there are tingles, and then there are tingles. I'll start with one distinction: when we're young (especially as boys), we get aroused by the simple sight of a nipple or a breast or that place down there -- or at the very least we are aroused by the sight of certain
types of those regions (we all have preferences), but those with more experience know that, not only does the novelty of just getting to see a whole breast wear off (which should only encourage people to be more picky), but one with older-person been-there-done-that wisdom also knows that sexy is as sexy does, and they are far more likely to be able to discern if a potential mate for their child will not only continue to look hot in that offspring's
eyes but will be motivated to and capable of being devoted to their child's pleasure just as they are probably more likely to be able to determine if the potential mate is prepared to cook for or repair broken things for or have that child's back.
Today, at the Dallas Farmer's Market, I watched a young couple (probably about 17 or 18) hanging on to each other right outside the women's bathroom. It was fascinating to observe how bonded they were, and it was written all over the young woman's face that she could hardly tear herself away from him just to go to the bathroom. Even when she turned to walk inside, she reached back, grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes. He then quickly walked over to the men's bathroom. When he emerged, I told him I realized I was a complete stranger but that I knew I would have appreciated someone my age saying this to him (and he listened to all of it): "I could see how your young woman looked at you before you each went into the bathroom, and I want you to make sure you
savor this part of your time together, because it won't last. You may spend the rest of your lives together, and it may be wonderful from beginning to end, but women rarely sustain that for years on end, and you will never stop wanting to be looked at by someone you adore as if they can't stand to be apart from you. So the best thing you can do is let time stop each time she does it and make sure she knows how much you appreciate it. And memorize it; memorize it down to its last detail." He wasn't any kind of snowflake boy; he might have been a soldier on leave, for all I know, but tears came to his eyes, and he replied, "I know; believe me, I know. I never want it to stop, and I feel the same way. Thank you."
And then Kristin came out of the bathroom right ahead of his girlfriend, giving me the perfect escape.
I've been loving what
@Joleneakamama has been writing here. I concur with her: this is not an either/or situation. Sometimes it's not possible to have the whole thing, but it's definitely not usually a matter of having to choose one over the other. They enhance each other, romantic attraction and character attraction, and they are both written on our hearts by our Creator, Who designed us that way on purpose. Women could have been designed to get pregnant anytime lightning struck anywhere between 100 yards and a mile away, but instead God wrote it on our very beings to have attractions to certain one-anothers so strong that laziness, fear, reluctance and inertia go by the wayside.
