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Dating / matchmaking websites

I believe person can be succesfull on dating website. But there is one big BUT.

It's enviroment unlike dating in person. Far less choice, far less time to show what makes you special. This creates different rules on websites.
 
paterfamilias said:
You have no idea how much I want to make rude bass jokes
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Hey, maybe I'm not the only one who thinks that catfish has a really nice bass . . .
 
On the more serious side, my brother Eric sent me the following link to a 53-minute to an interview about a book entitled How to Not Get Married; it's an interesting take on how it may very well be the case that most unmarried people these days are actually consciously and unconsciously but very purposefully avoiding marriage, so many of of the women on dating sites may have little to no interest in creating a commitment, no matter how much they claim to be there for that purpose.

https://www.frontpagemag.com/fpm/2021/12/rabbi-weissman-video-how-not-get-married-frontpagemagcom/

The book is not intended to promote avoiding marriage, and the interview includes focusing on how people need to prepare themselves differently from how the culture has prepared them if they really want to get married and stay married.
 
Keith Martin said:
On the more serious side, my brother Eric sent me the following link to a 53-minute to an interview about a book entitled How to Not Get Married; it's an interesting take on how it may very well be the case that most unmarried people these days are actually consciously and unconsciously but very purposefully avoiding marriage, so many of of the women on dating sites may have little to no interest in creating a commitment, no matter how much they claim to be there for that purpose.

https://www.frontpagemag.com/fpm/2021/12/rabbi-weissman-video-how-not-get-married-frontpagemagcom/

The book is not intended to promote avoiding marriage, and the interview includes focusing on how people need to prepare themselves differently from how the culture has prepared them if they really want to get married and stay married.
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I briefly dated a woman who I think fell in to this category. She was beautiful, brilliant and stupidly rich. She takes about wanting to get married all the time but never married any of the cadre of men who were buzzing around her all the time.
 
rockfox said:
It sounds like Daniel is approaching this more like a matchmaker, who would curate the quality and morality of the people they place.

Maybe there is a place for that, as opposed to the come one come all approach that most places take. A place with only the best men/couples might attract higher quality women? It is a very traditional role and activity.

It's all a numbers game about how to attract the interest you need.

The biggest problem is not sifting out men who behave badly though, there are unending numbers of men/couples. The bigger problem is finding women you can actually place:


I don't know if you can matchmake using a build it and they will come approach, or absent certain personality skill-sets and community involvement.
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LOL "you need to find a build a bear"

I love the fact that she calls it, "y'all want to make hoes into husbands the same way men want to make hoes into housewives."
 
I met a 45-year-old Christian woman from Florida on sisterwives yesterday (not in person) who is looking for a family to join. She has three children and is "seeking a grounded family." She wants to be housed in a separate household, have her finances covered by the family she's joining, and she wants "once weekly time' with both the man and the 1st wife.

I told her I'd let her know if anyone is interested; alternatively, you can contact me privately, and I'll point you in her direction.
 
But not a word about where he is at spiritually.
Interesting focus for what she wants from her head-to-be.
 
Keith Martin said:
I met a 45-year-old Christian woman from Florida on sisterwives yesterday (not in person) who is looking for a family to join. She has three children and is "seeking a grounded family." She wants to be housed in a separate household, have her finances covered by the family she's joining, and she wants "once weekly time' with both the man and the 1st wife.

I told her I'd let her know if anyone is interested; alternatively, you can contact me privately, and I'll point you in her direction.
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Yeek. Hard pass.
 
Keith Martin said:
She wants to be housed in a separate household, have her finances covered by the family she's joining, and she wants "once weekly time' with both the man and the 1st wife.
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MeganC said:
I was going to call her a whore
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Rather expensive whore too. A full-time salary for one session a week? And not offering to even cook & clean as part of the deal? I'm completely unfamiliar with the going rate for whores or the living costs in Florida, but I can't help thinking this seems rather steep.
 
FollowingHim said:
Rather expensive whore too. A full-time salary for one session a week? And not offering to even cook & clean as part of the deal? I'm completely unfamiliar with the going rate for whores or the living costs in Florida, but I can't help thinking this seems rather steep.
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Amen to that!

One of my initial reactions, which I diplomatically refrained from, was to ask her if she needed a free parking space for her rainbow-colored unicorn.
 
USDutchkitty said:
Hey, when I met the Missouri couple, I was a legit as I can be. It was them who weren't honest and chickened out.
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I’m sure that you are/were. Catfishing can happen from either side.
 
USDutchkitty said:
Well, not really catfished but ghosted. They didn't have the nerve to tell me while I was there until I puffed up to know why my heart was broken.
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If they are doing it just for the fun of doing it, without being sincere, that is a form of catfishing.
I’ve seen it happen, the thrill of the chase is exciting but a long term commitment takes serious work. Suddenly it isn’t fun anymore.
They seem to have no empathy for what they are doing with someone else’s life and feelings.
 
steve said:
If they are doing it just for the fun of doing it, without being sincere, that is a form of catfishing.
I’ve seen it happen, the thrill of the chase is exciting but a long term commitment takes serious work. Suddenly it isn’t fun anymore.
They seem to have no empathy for what they are doing with someone else’s life and feelings.
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No, the husband wanted me there but the wife, I think she was intimindated. She was the jealous type, quoting her own kids "She has to be the center of attention, even at our birthday parties", and I tried everything I would think of to show her that I wasn't going to be that way. I don't like being the center of attention. If it happens by accident, that is one thing, but all the time? That sounds exhausting. So when I finally got a hold of her and asked "What happened?" She lied. Saying "It is not for me, we wouldn't have the. time for kids, etc" and yet got saint bernard puppies for Christmas. It is hard to get over because I opened my heart up and now I have it in a cage.
 
USDutchkitty said:
She lied. Saying "It is not for me,
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She was honest with her first words.
Be thankful that you didn’t become more enmeshed with them.

I am sorry that this sounds harsh.
 
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