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Handling a gender confused child.

I am not responding to any one thing here but more the overall spirit of what you wrote. The sum of it and not the parts, if that makes sense.

And I apologize in advance if what I write offends anyone. It's just how I am seeing this.

Okay...

Letting* girls get married and start families at puberty (the way it used to be in the world up until the 1800's and 1900's) solves much of this teenage confusion before it even gets started.

As it is it seems that every aspect of Western society wants to skew sexuality for young people. The liberal zero-population growth types want kids to be sexual deviants who don't have children. Secular society tells kids to wait until late adulthood to have families (or not to have them at all) and then to pursue sex as an entertainment which is itself a form of deviancy. And I hate to say but most religious faiths prefer that teenage girls stifle their sexuality which in turn leaves the girls vulnerable to liberal and secular influences.

* I chose the word Letting on purpose. If a girl wants to get married then let her. But don't force her to get married.

If I could get a do-over in life I think I would have married at 16 and started a family. My life today would have been far less complicated and I'd be far less messed up than I know I am.
Would ya'll want the same for your daughters at such a young age, if that's what they wanted? I'm not asking that to be a smartass, just genuinely curious because I hold an entirely different opinion and want to see it from another perspective.
 
Would ya'll want the same for your daughters at such a young age, if that's what they wanted? I'm not asking that to be a smartass, just genuinely curious because I hold an entirely different opinion and want to see it from another perspective.
Yes, my logical mind would want that for them if it was the right man.

My emotional mind would however find it difficult for me to recognise that it was the right man, and agree with my logical mind, as I'd still be thinking of them as my little girl. But then I'll find it difficult to give away my daughters at any age, I'm not sure that will be greatly different when they're 25.
 
Would ya'll want the same for your daughters at such a young age, if that's what they wanted? I'm not asking that to be a smartass, just genuinely curious because I hold an entirely different opinion and want to see it from another perspective.
See the answer from @FollowingHim above - Same for me but I'm older and have grandkids already. :)
 
Would ya'll want the same for your daughters at such a young age, if that's what they wanted? I'm not asking that to be a smartass, just genuinely curious because I hold an entirely different opinion and want to see it from another perspective.
I can genuinely say yes. One of my daughters started her family at 18. It was probably a year too late. Another one started hers around 19 and it was definitely 2 years too late.
 
I can genuinely say yes. One of my daughters started her family at 18. It was probably a year too late. Another one started hers around 19 and it was definitely 2 years too late.
Wow, I didn't even think either of you even had children that old lol I appreciate the answer.

I just find it fascinating because I can't picture my niece in the same situation. I guess it depends on the child though? I'm sure yours had a very different upbringing than she did.
 
Yes, my logical mind would want that for them if it was the right man.

My emotional mind would however find it difficult for me to recognise that it was the right man, and agree with my logical mind, as I'd still be thinking of them as my little girl. But then I'll find it difficult to give away my daughters at any age, I'm not sure that will be greatly different when they're 25.
Lol I think that explains perfectly my struggle as well when it comes to my niece. I appreciate the insight.
 
If a child is curious and thinks they are wrong sex and tells me it's hormonal and how they feel I would let science confirm it with dna test if it says your a boy your a boy if girl a girl and I would pray on it they challenge with science I match them with science
 
Wow, I didn't even think either of you even had children that old lol I appreciate the answer.

I just find it fascinating because I can't picture my niece in the same situation. I guess it depends on the child though? I'm sure yours had a very different upbringing than she did.
Those two daughters aren’t Moriah’s children although her oldest daughter is 21 and her middle daughter is 17 and is definitely ready to be running her own home and has been for several years, Ali though I persona think 16 is the bare minimum age a young woman should be getting married. I personally prefer an engagement around 16 and setting up house somewhere around 17; although long engagements also seem like a waste of time.
 
One of my sister in laws met her husband at 16 (before I met my husband) and they wanted to get married then. They waited until she was 19 and married two days before our second son was born. There is no doubt in my mind that when a young couple has faith in common, and makes that commitment, they can build that pair bond that makes staying together easy....and parting?.... INCONCEIVABLE!.

I can genuinely say yes. One of my daughters started her family at 18. It was probably a year too late. Another one started hers around 19 and it was definitely 2 years too late.

I wasn't ready for marriage before I was past 20, and I mean I wasn't ready for an adult relationship. That means I wasn't doing what the world calls "dating" either.
Yes, my logical mind would want that for them if it was the right man.

My emotional mind would however find it difficult for me to recognise that it was the right man, and agree with my logical mind, as I'd still be thinking of them as my little girl. But then I'll find it difficult to give away my daughters at any age, I'm not sure that will be greatly different when they're 25.
This is the anticipated issue we face with my husband's new father in law. She was a mother, very much thinking like a serious adult about life, and 25 years old.....BUT because of primarily the age difference, my husband is likely to be thought of as someone who abused his position as her boss, or manipulated her into a relationship with him. The biggest reason I believe this thinking is so prevalent is that people hear about the abnormal and abusive practices of particular religious groups that practice polygyny, yet rarely ever are aware of the healthy families that do two (or more) wife families right. Because the publicity goes to the abnormal, the average person's exposure to the whole concept is prejudiced and badly skewed.
When two people decide to marry their reasons are assumed to be compatibility, attraction, love and effection for each other, and a desire to do life together including raising children. People hearing of an engagement or wedding are usually happy for the couple and wish them well.
Why is it that when a man marries again his motives for commiting to a second woman are automatically suspect?
 
Maybe it's because the person thinking that way has suspect motives for wanting to do the same. ;)
Entirely possible. One does tend to judge by one's own standard. A fact that made me wonder when my grandpa was worried about us grandkids "getting into trouble" in our teens....what HE would have done at our age! ;-)
 
. People hearing of an engagement or wedding are usually happy for the couple and wish them well.
Why is it that when a man marries again his motives for commiting to a second woman are automatically suspect?
Definitely a good point. However is has me curious, maybe people are more suspicious of his motives the second time around because they feel as though he's already married and being selfish or looking to replace/upgrade his current wife. This is a concern of many of the first wives when polygamy is brought up, so it's only a natural reaction for people on the outside looking in as well i'd assume.
 
Why is it that when a man marries again his motives for committing to a second woman are automatically suspect?

Because they assume it's just about sex and the thought that there could be deeper reasons to care for a second wife are dangerous considerations in a world that thinks monogamous marriage is a form of deviancy. Polygamy is then a threat to the very amoral-fabric of an evil society.
 
maybe people are more suspicious of his motives the second time around because they feel as though he's already married and being selfish or looking to replace/upgrade his current wife.
I'm sure this is commonly felt and assumed, but I think this is just because of 2000 years of monogamy only making any other possibility look wrong.
Using the analogy of children, no one assumes parents are dissatisfied with a child or looking to replace or upgrade one if they have another. I believe it is only the man made limit in people's minds that causes the suspicion.
This is a concern of many of the first wives when polygamy is brought up,
This concern is very real and probably exists because 2000 years of forced monogamy has made it easy for men to avoid responsibility for their relationships. If a first wife leaves he still only has the responsibility of one. If a "Christian" man has an affair he's told he should repent and break off that relationship. He still only has one wife....he is forced by society to keep his relationship quantity at one legitimate relationship. Others are WRONG with this lense, and so a man wanting another must be messed up.

In contrast, biblically there was no hiding a relationship that didn't result in pregnancy like people do now. And shucks, how many girls used to be sent away to have a baby?

What should happen is if a man seduces a woman that is not spoken for, he goes and makes a deal with her Dad and makes that relationship permenant. The accountability is supposed to follow sex, not pregnancy some 6 months later.
Social norms are just all messed up. We guilt and shame men for things the Bible doesn't and christians act like this present mess is better then polygyny.
 
Social norms are just all messed up. We guilt and shame men for things the Bible doesn't and christians act like this present mess is better then polygyny.
Yes, exactly. This reminds me, I was listening to a YouTuber yesterday, she claimed that Polygamy was abusive. Obviously there is abuse in Polygamy but there is also abuse in monogamy and in many other relationships. If her issue is with abuse then she needs to speak out about abuse in all forms, not just center in on Polygamy. I couldn't even finish listening to the video because it was so ridiculously biased.
 
Yes, exactly. This reminds me, I was listening to a YouTuber yesterday, she claimed that Polygamy was abusive. Obviously there is abuse in Polygamy but there is also abuse in monogamy and in many other relationships. If her issue is with abuse then she needs to speak out about abuse in all forms, not just center in on Polygamy. I couldn't even finish listening to the video because it was so ridiculously biased.
People seem to think that if you are in polygamy it's because you were forced there. No woman would choose that, so they must've been forced to do so and that is abusive. So for some, the very idea that women are in polygamy is abusive. They don't think it's possible that we could actually choose it, and if we did, it's probably because we were brainwashed, which is more abuse. Obviously they're wrong, but that's the position they're starting from, so you can't get them to say anything good about polygamy at all.
 
People seem to think that if you are in polygamy it's because you were forced there. No woman would choose that, so they must've been forced to do so and that is abusive. So for some, the very idea that women are in polygamy is abusive. They don't think it's possible that we could actually choose it, and if we did, it's probably because we were brainwashed, which is more abuse. Obviously they're wrong, but that's the position they're starting from, so you can't get them to say anything good about polygamy at all.
That's exactly what she said, she also claimed that women in Polygamy were insecure lol. Seriously? How much more secure can you get than choosing to live plural marriage.
 
Would ya'll want the same for your daughters at such a young age, if that's what they wanted? I'm not asking that to be a smartass, just genuinely curious because I hold an entirely different opinion and want to see it from another perspective.

Yes.
 
They don't think it's possible that we could actually choose it, and if we did, it's probably because we were brainwashed, which is more abuse.
When our family situation changed our single 23 year old son started bringing the subject up with those in his circle of friends in a strictly theological way. He was talking about it with a couple guys one night when some of the gals walked up and asked what they were talking about. He just said controversial stuff and would have left it at that, but one gal wanted to know (or at least thought she did)

Once they got talking a bit the gals were adamant that only men would be interested in living polygyny. Our son said some women actively look for another wife for their husband. The outspoken gal said "I'm calling bullshit on that! No woman would choose that life!" so our son said " Now this is going to make things kind of awkward, but my mom has been interested and looking for a sisterwife since I was young"

Waallll. That done shut up the argument! Lol

A man with experience is NOT at the mercy of a man (or woman) with an opinion! ;)
 
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