Filters are a good thing. Like using a sieve to filter wheat from chaff.
Lately I've been watching videos of people who jump from mountains with squirrel suits...
And I liken that to getting married in this life.
The skydiver is all in when he jumps. There is no turning back, no second thoughts, no do-overs. That moment when he jumps is one of those things that cannot be undone and the fact that he is willing to take that risk filters him from the many people who would never dare try such a thing.
In our fellowship there is a lot of pressure for a new wife (especially a plural) to have a baby. It's an outward sign of her inward commitment to her husband and family. And once she's pregnant and she's had a child then there is no turning back, no second thoughts, no do-overs. You're
all in.
Once they got talking a bit the gals were adamant that only men would be interested in living polygyny. Our son said some women actively look for another wife for their husband. The outspoken gal said "I'm calling bullshit on that! No woman would choose that life!"
And it is precisely this kind of woman who is being filtered from this life. She can't commit. She is looking for a way out before she even gets started. She can't even allow herself to imagine that someone else would
want what she has been taught to fear.
Is it all her fault? I'm going to say no. She's likely been surrounded by socially acceptable effeminate men all her life and she could never imagine committing to someone who doesn't inspire or command that kind of loyalty. <<< I relate to this.
It takes an extraordinary man to overcome this kind of thing and to show a woman like this that she can have a better life by trusting someone who has demonstrated that her trust will not be misplaced.
I pray she meets one someday.