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How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want poly

Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

1. What about Nehemiah?

2. Keith said outright that it did not mean 'marry specifically', and I did not say it meant specifically too marry, I only said it carried the concept in Nehimiah to the New Testament.

3. I second Keith's question. Have you thought about why God did not His people uniting with people not in Him?

2 Cor 6 is about the nature of the relationship with the unbeliever, and it does cover many different things. Part of Clarke's commentary is kind of pertinent, so if no one minds I'll quote it.

Some apply this exhortation to pious persons marrying with those who are not decidedly religious, and converted to God. That the exhortation may be thus applied I grant; but it is certainly not the meaning of the apostle in this place. Nevertheless, common sense and true piety show the absurdity of two such persons pretending to walk together in a way in which they are not agreed. A very wise and very holy man has given his judgment on this point: “A man who is truly pious, marrying with an unconverted woman, will either draw back to perdition, or have a cross during life.” The same may be said of a pious woman marrying an unconverted man. Such persons cannot say this petition of the Lord’s prayer, Lead us not into temptation. They plunge into it of their own accord.
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Each member of a marriage has a very strong influence over the others. If it is about influence, then applying this passage to marriage is right on spot.
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

OK, I think I understand a bit more what you want right now and that is fine as far as I am concerned but I am still wondering whether that would be satisfying for you? If she never accepts your faith even if she is respectful towards it, will you be happy?
How would that work in your daily life? If she is a muslim and she wants to wear the veil would you mind? What if she is Jewish and observes Shabbat, would it bother you? What if you have Children and she wants to name them Schlomo, Muhammmed or Krishna? Would that be an issue for you? Personally I have no problems with cross cultural/religious marriages in theory, as long as everyone is respectful, though I think, in my life I am much more happy around those with a similar world view to my own and I think it makes relationships a great deal easier, but if you think it is worth it than I can only wish you luck and hope you find what you are looking for.

Bels
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

lutherangirl said:
I guess the virgin issue kinda bothers me, because it is sore subject, for one in which I won't go into. If you want more virgins to marry then the men in this country better do a better job in training their sons to stop molesting young girls and women!!! It is unbelievable how many stories you hear from women about being molested that led them into drugs, prostitution, etc. Believe me, most of the ladies I know, if weren't molested would have been virgins on their wedding day!
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I totally agree with this !
It makes me question the motivations of the man. Is he more interested in a woman's sexual history than the woman, herself ? As for survivors of rape or molestation, I can only imagine the pain and frustration of being rejected by a prospective husband because they aren't virgins. Keep in mind that recent studies have concluded that approximately 1 out of every 3 girls have been sexually abused.
Blessings,
Fairlight
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

The importance of virginity has a lot to do with marriage being a covenant. You will notice blood shed in most covenants, it is no different in marriage, at least the way marriage is supposed to be. I placed a silk handkerchief under my bride (virgin or not) on each of my wedding nights, and it is hers to keep as a sign of the covenant between us. If one of my wives was not a virgin we had a simple ceremony prior to consummation of our covenant to symbolically return her virginity.

Deuteronomy 22:13-17 "If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and then hates her and accuses her of misconduct and brings a bad name upon her, saying, 'I took this woman, and when I came near her, I did not find in her evidence of virginity,' then the father of the young woman and her mother shall take and bring out the evidence of her virginity to the elders of the city in the gate. And the father of the young woman shall say to the elders, 'I gave my daughter to this man to marry, and he hates her; and behold, he has accused her of misconduct, saying, "I did not find in your daughter evidence of virginity." And yet this is the evidence of my daughter's virginity.' And they shall spread the cloak before the elders of the city.

The problem we face is ignorance and a lack of morals in our society. My father did not know better because his father was an alcoholic and didn't teach him much of anything, he then passed on to me what he knew...little if anything. By the time I was old enough and self educated biblically enough to understand the sanctity of marriage I had been with many of women, two of which were virgins when I knew them. Mind you, these were consensual relationships. When I realized what I had been participating in it took a long time for me to forgive myself and accept the forgiveness of the Lord. My children will not make the same mistakes I made, at least unknowingly.
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

DiscussingTheTopic said:
Hello

I am wondering how I would find a virgin woman who is a U.S. citizen, who is either a Buddhist, Hinduist, Jew, Muslim, or Shaman or other traditional Asian religion which was practiced before the West invaded? Who does not have Christian parents or much exposure to Christianity and is willing to be part of a polygamous marriage, and is willing to marry a Christian man and study the Bible with him?

The reason I am looking for a U.S. citizen is because as a U.S. citizen if I marry a foreigner it is more likely to require a marriage certificate and hinder my opportunities of polygamy.
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Maybe make a trip to Micronesia. They are nominally religious and cling to many traditional beliefs. Micronesians from the Federated State of Micronesia, The Marshall Islands and Palau do not need a visa to live and work in the US. (They are freely associated states with the US)
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

Scarecrow said:
If one of my wives was not a virgin we had a simple ceremony prior to consummation of our covenant to symbolically return her virginity.

Wow! I think this is a wonderful thing to do!

Deuteronomy 22:13-17 "If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and then hates her and accuses her of misconduct and brings a bad name upon her, saying, 'I took this woman, and when I came near her, I did not find in her evidence of virginity,' then the father of the young woman and her mother shall take and bring out the evidence of her virginity to the elders of the city in the gate. And the father of the young woman shall say to the elders, 'I gave my daughter to this man to marry, and he hates her; and behold, he has accused her of misconduct, saying, "I did not find in your daughter evidence of virginity." And yet this is the evidence of my daughter's virginity.' And they shall spread the cloak before the elders of the city.
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This is the problem in rape and/or molestation, there isn't evidence of her virginity like in the case of the rape that occured to Tamar by her half-brother in 2 Samuel 14:27.

I don't want to high jack this thread--sorry.

I think there is nothing wrong with being friends with people from other religions and talk to them about Christianity or find out more about their culture/religion; however, being married (yoked) together is a totally different subject.
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

[quote="FairlightI totally agree with this !
It makes me question the motivations of the man. Is he more interested in a woman's sexual history than the woman, herself ? As for survivors of rape or molestation, I can only imagine the pain and frustration of being rejected by a prospective husband because they aren't virgins. Keep in mind that recent studies have concluded that approximately 1 out of every 3 girls have been sexually abused.
Blessings,
Fairlight[/quote]

Wow! I didn't realize the statistics were so high. Is that in the States or worldwide?
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

Fairlight and Lutheran girl,

You are both so on target here. A man is under the headship of Christ, and his spiritual leaders if he has become a disciple of someone or group of leaders such as within the body of Christ/church, and thus to desire to take a mate who is unsaved is a sign of a misplaced priority.

The commands of God are hierarchal: Love God first and then your neighbor. To take or yoke oneself to a lost woman shows love to man first and God second. The order is wrong.

Dr. Allen
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

The hmong in my area get married pretty early. They seem to be ok with polygny but often get married in the 14-16 range. It seems on the surface that they might embrace whatever the faith of the husband is. But I don't know the truth of that. I find that obvious things like a woman of no specific loyalty to a certain faith, taking up the faith of her husband, doesn't always develop. So what someone else mentioned as choosing a heavy cross to bear might apply. The advice on micronesia and marshall Islands is good advice as far as citizenship. I understand though don't completely agree with your viewpoint that most "christians" aren't any better than nonchristians, and perhaps worse. With that sort of an attitude then I think it makes sense to look far afield for your wife. Just don't go so far in the other direction it makes you blind to their distance from God. Though a woman who is a modern american christian may be by your definition an evil apostate. The innocent ignorant foreigner has no more love for God. Assuming that once exposed she'll choose truth and righteousness is idealism and delusion. So find all the non"christian" virgins you can. But during the courtship a sincere awaking to faith needs to occur. Otherwise, your just shooting yourself in the foot...perhaps both feet! Good luck brother, and if ya find that mythical tribe, feel free to send me the numbers for any sisters you can't support ;)

p.s. I met my wife when I was 15. She was mormon and I fell in love with her. She converted to a deeper more personal understanding of the grace and love of our savior before we got married. Her family rejected her, Father wouldn't walk her down the aisle, etc. If she hadn't been willing to follow my leadership in spiritual matters before a wedding ceremony. Why would I suppose she would after? I know that before marriage her father is suppose to be her spiritual head. But the reality is either they know God or they don't. If you can't bring her to an understanding of God before marriage, then I find it doubtful she will come easily immedietly after. But, perhaps I was lucky ;)
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

You know, when I first opened up at work, I was talking to a couple of my collegues, one (who was not particular religious) was giving me a bit of ribbing, he tried to get the other guy to join in but he said he understood and that there are lots of families he knew like that at 'home'. He was Nigerian by birth and although a very religious Christian, he was aware of Polygamy practised by the Muslim population and out of all of my co-workers he was the one who acted less freaked out or amused by the idea and more respectful, which was not the attitude I was expecting and was very pleased.

Bels
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

Let me start this out by saying this is Seth's wife and not him so as not to cause him issues. As I read this thread and I feel I have to say something. As someone who has been molested I am frustrated with the idea that it is wrong to "look for a virgin wife" and using molestation as a reason for berating a guy who wishes for such a thing. I will say that i was lucky in that my husband felt that I was a virgin as I had no choice in what happened to me and he has always treated me as such. If a man feels the desire to look for and want a virgin wife, should we not support him also as this is a biblically sound truth and trust him that as a spiritual man that he will follow God's leadership in picking a bride whether she be a virgin or a non-virgin.
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

Seth said:
Let me start this out by saying this is Seth's wife and not him so as not to cause him issues. As I read this thread and I feel I have to say something. As someone who has been molested I am frustrated with the idea that it is wrong to "look for a virgin wife" and using molestation as a reason for berating a guy who wishes for such a thing. I will say that i was lucky in that my husband felt that I was a virgin as I had no choice in what happened to me and he has always treated me as such. If a man feels the desire to look for and want a virgin wife, should we not support him also as this is a biblically sound truth and trust him that as a spiritual man that he will follow God's leadership in picking a bride whether she be a virgin or a non-virgin.
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I'm sorry that you had to go through this in your life and happy that your husband was so understanding.

My intent was not to berate anyone for their choice of a spouse just to educate people about why some women might not be virgins. As John Whitten pointed out in his post, "about 11-12 years ago" he didn't know molestation was happening.

Sometimes people look at situations from a scholarly view and want to do things by the book. Of course we all should be doing this according to what the Bible says; however, we must not forget love, compassion, and understanding--things in which your dear husband lovingly showed toward you.

Not every women wants to rehash the details about her abuse, so if a man says I'm looking for a virgin to marry he might miss an golden opportunity with a woman that is right in front of him.
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

I think we should try and go back to the original topic here. It may be more applicable if the subject of "rape" or "molestation" is discussed in a ladies only forum or in a private forum as this topic is a very sensitive subject and one that is probably best discussed outside of the main public forums. Any time this awful thing happens it leaves scars that when dicussed can open all kinds of emotions. So for safety sake let's discuss that topic if needed in another thread outside the scope of this one.

So going back to the original idea or main idea of the thread:

How does one go about finding women from another religion and should this be done or not be done according to the Bible?

Dr. Allen
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

Isabella said:
Polygamy practised by the Muslim population and out of all of my co-workers he was the one who acted less freaked out or amused by the idea and more respectful, which was not the attitude I was expecting and was very pleased.

Bels
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So you made a very interesting comment.

Many American "Christians" deny a reasonable interpretation of the Bible that they insist they "believe" by replacing the obvious meaning with ridiculous meanings such as ideas about polygany being immoral, etc. (And many, many, many, other examples than just polygany, such as modest dress and gender roles, etc.)

I found some Muslim's to be more accepting of many portions of the "christian" scripture than many "Christians." (Except for the divinity of Jesus and certain historical facts, etc.)

The Nigerian learned to be more accepting of Christian teaching by hanging around Muslims! He was actually more open to the truth about Christianity through his exposure to Muslims.

I feel that if the Bible or (the Quran or whatever religious claim) is really true, being exposed to other religious ideas, will not show it false. (This is not to say that idol worship is acceptable, for it is unacceptable.) So I would be okay with my future children learning (not necessarily practicing however) other religions, because they should be able) to figure out what is true and false through honest examination of the evidence, (so long as at least one of the presented views available to choose from is true.) (On the other hand if someone knew their text was false they would possibly be afraid to look at other texts, if they had an ulterior motive and may even ban those texts from their country. Of course banning a text would not prove a text to be true or false.)

So I feel that if I were to marry a Muslim woman, as long as she let me teach what I believe. My children (that I would have with her) might actually end up with a better understanding of scripture than if I married a "typical" American "christian." (I am not saying that all Muslims or Christians are the same but talking about an overall idea that may very from case to case.) I also feel that I may learn more about Christianity if I marry one or more Muslim women they have so many traditions that are from the Bible ,or at least are similar to principles taught in the Bible that "typical" "Christians" deny such as head covering for modesty etc. (I am not saying their scripture is inspired, by saying I could learn from them.)
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

Isabella said:
Most of those religious backgrounds are also strongly different culturally, which might be incredibly difficult for you to understand your wife, why risk future happiness on a ego trip idea?

Isabella
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Biblical culture is different than every national culture and requires disobeying some teaching from whatever nation you are born in (unless there is some Theocracy I am ignorant of where everyone follows the Bible perfectly.) However when she sees how much I love her by trying to follow Bible culture she will be better loved marrying me than someone from her own culture/nationality, because the Bible teaches a better way to love. At least if I succeed in following the Bible.

I have spent day after day for years of my life, thinking about what I should do to be a better husband and father (when I get married.) I think this will make me well qualified to love her, for many people do not think about that until after they have been with someone for a long time but I have a head start. If you had any idea how much I intend to be devoted to loving my future wife, it would not seem like a risk to her future happiness to marry her.

She would be much happier with me than some man from her own culture/religion who ignores her to watch a football game. I can spend my time listening to her and understanding her, I want to listen to communicate with her a lot, so I think I could understand my future wife better than someone from her own religion who puts less effort into communication. So I think this religion thing will not create as great an understanding barrier as some might think, when I intend to learn her not just her religion.
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

I do not see the relevance of the books of Nehemiah and Ezra to what religion my future wives can be. Can someone explain what people having married foreign women has to do with this topic?

Does anyone actually think that these books mean that as an American I could not go to China to get married, or marry a foreign exchange student from Canada living in America because she would be a foreigner?
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

What does Nehemiah and Ezra have to do with foreign wives? Everything.

God was against his people, those under his HEADSHIP, uniting in marriage to someone who was not under his HEADSHIP. Foreign meant they were not in his family, a part of the covenant people.

Think of it this way. All people are either in Christ and under his headship or are under Satan and his headship.

If one marries a person who is under the headship of Satan and he or she is under Christ there is an ubalanced tie, yoke, connection, bond that creates a serious problem. Again, Paul spoke of this and he also stated that you do not know if one will save the other. You do not know if the person will ever come to faith. Only God knows those who are his and will come to faith.

WITH ALL OF MY HEART I PRAY YOU WILL PUT THIS IDEA AWAY FOR YOUR OWN GOOD AND FOR THE GOOD OF THE CAUSE OF CHRIST. My heart is deeply burdened for you. I do not want to see you get hurt or to do something that ultimately damages you and any children you may have. I think your passion is overloading you and leading you towards an unholy idea, one that the Lord does not approve of.

Look at it even further down the road. Humanly speaking, if your children grow up in a home where one is under the headship of Christ and one is under the headship of Satan they may see that your faith did not mean enough to you to wait in patience for a believer. They may see that as hypocrisy when they read the Bible and clearly see that such a union was not God's desire. Thus, they may reject your very faith based upon your compromise. It is just as easy to see that happening as it is to see other scenarios play out as you suggest for the positive.

I suggest grab a concordance and look up the term patience in the Bible. It is clear that you have a strong desire to be married. Praise the Lord! But it would be better to exercise the fruit of the Spirit in patience and wait until either you can disciple someone long enough that they come into the faith, or that you find one the Lord has already drawn to the faith.

I say none of this to discourage your quest to find a wife. I pray you do find a wife but I pray that it is a believing wife first and foremost. Furthermore, I say this with a heart that wants to see you excel in the faith. But if you put into practice what you speak of here I think you may very well damage your own faith and your testimony as well as the Lord's testimony through your life. I don't want to see that happen to you or your faith. I would be hurt to see that happen to you.
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

To the best of my understanding the people of Israel were not to marry outside of their people to prevent idolatry just like God told them a king should not multiply wives unto himself (which we know from the text to mean to not have a great number of them rather than not to have more than one Solomon/David) because they would cause his heart to wander into idolatry with them.

The Internet can be a wonderful thing. I have talked with people from all over the world, and many look up to us here in America. I think we have a responsibility we don't even consider most of the time, that is to offer the gospel to people. There are so many "Christians" in this world that have no idea what they are even supposed to believe in and do not actually have a relationship with the Lord.

I was recently chatting with a woman in S.E. Asia that grew up Catholic, but became agnostic, She looked into many religions but didn't find the answers. She said that Islam made the most sense (logically), but that it didn't answer her questions either, and just didn't seem right. We spent a number of hours chatting, and chatted a number of different times. She asked me many very challenging questions and thank God for the Holy Spirit and giving me the words she needed to hear. Finally one day she made a comment that I was the first person that was actually able to answer all her questions and overcome all her objections (ignorance). That was a most incredible feeling. To know that I was used as an instrument by God to bring her back to Him.

I still chat with her from time to time...maybe some day we will walk down the isle together... : )
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

Strange implies heathen as well as being of a different nationality. Strange women, strange Gods. Rahab and her family being naturalized based on their faith shows that its the heathenism thats the problem rather than the nationality per se.

Its not being of a foreign country that is the problem, its being foreign to God. Every time this law is given a reason is given with it:

Deu 7:3 Neither shalt thou make marriages with them (the great nations around them); thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.
Deu 7:4 For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.

And that exactly what happened, even with the Great and Wise Solomon.

Does anyone actually think that these books mean that as an American I could not go to China to get married, or marry a foreign exchange student from Canada living in America because she would be a foreigner?
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Not whatsoever, a Christian Canadian would never have his heart turned away from God by a Christian Chinawoman, nor would a Jew have his heart turned away by marrying a proselytized woman from another nation (such as Rahab or Ruth). It's standard marriages with the unconverted that are the problem. I believe you have sorely underestimated how much influence a wife has on her husband, and sorely overestimate how much she would let you teach her what you believe. If she comes to Christ it will likely be before the wedding, in which case you would not be marrying someone of another beleif, and if she does not come to Christ before then it is unlikely she ever will, and you will be the student of her religion, her her of yours.
 
Re: How do you find U.S. women of other religions who want p

Let me speak as one who has been unequally yoked. It takes a very strong Christian to withstand all of the errors of a non-believed, or even a partially, believing wife. It doesn't take long before you look at her beliefs as being not really all so bad - progressing to, "I guess they're OK -for her," until suddenly you realize that you're lost, and are unsure of your own beliefs. Our God is a mighty God and he brought me out of that relationship (she divorced me and married another) but He has good reasons for prohibiting such unions for His people. He knows our minds and weaknesses much better than we do ourselves. It is only wisdom to heed Him.

Dave
 
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