Issue with both wives

[Edward]

We all have iPhones. Built in is an app called Find My. It lets me see where my wife and daughters are, and has proven very useful when I need to come rescue them due to a dead battery, or pick them up in an unfamiliar part of town, or find them at the fair.

BUT...

All of them know how to turn it off, because I made a point of making sure they knew how, and some of them have occasionally done so. I don't mind this, because our relationships are built on trust. And if I didn't trust one of them, especially my wife, fixing that would become Job One.

So drop the safety excuse, and just promote its utility. Start by showing them how to track you, without insisting they allow you to track them. Show them how to turn it off. Lead, don't just command or demand.

On the other hand, if the app you want to install pries into messages, or email, or other such things, you have way deeper trust issues to resolve, and fixing that should be your focus.

I AGREE 100% with you on this.

 

[Edward]

If I had a smartphone I would SET the example for my whole family. Remember at the work place and home, we MUST rule by example and NOT by authority.
Here is a good example.. I used to be a Union Boilermaker, by trade and there are 2 kinds of foremen, 1. who trust his men to do the job and do it right and only checks on you once in a while to see how things are going. 2. the micro manager, he always telling you how to do the job, had his nose in everything and he rules by authority. Foreman #1 the men under him are willing to go the extra mile for him because he leads by example and he is not cracking the whip, if you will. Foreman #2 nobody wants to go the extra mile for him or even work for him. And trust me I have been in both situations and I know how to manipulate time, I have put my brakes on for #2 "sorry boss I don't think I can get to that". And in the end he looks bad, that is not our problem, he should have treated his men better. The same is at home, in my opinion. Treat your wife or wives right and they will take care of you. OR the opposite dig there heals in, in your case... "They both object to it and claim it’s not necessary".

I just asked my wife if she feels safe with her phone and she gave me a strange look and said no. I then asked her if she would feel safe if I had a tracking app on it, and again she gave me a strange look and said, how is that suppose to make me feel safe?

 

[Pacman]

Remember at the work place and home, we MUST rule by example and NOT by authority.

Bro. this is a false dichotomy. I reject the notion that these two concepts are opposed to each other. Both are necessary.

 

[Edward]

Bro. this is a false dichotomy. I reject the notion that these two concepts are opposed to each other. Both are necessary.

I already know he is the authority figure.
She already knows I am the authority figure.

The Bible says...
Genesis 3:16 KJV Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

John 13:13-16 KJV Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. (14) If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. (15) For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. (16) Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.

1 Peter 2:21-22 KJVA For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: (22) Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:

Do you really think Adam ruled with a whip?? How about Yahshua He ruled by example because His bride KNEW He was the one in charge. The same with Adam, Eve KNEW Adam was in charge. They still set the example.

 

[Pacman]

I already know he is the authority figure.
She already knows I am the authority figure.

The Bible says...
Genesis 3:16 KJV Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

John 13:13-16 KJV Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. (14) If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. (15) For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. (16) Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.

1 Peter 2:21-22 KJVA For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: (22) Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:

Do you really think Adam ruled with a whip?? How about Yahshua He ruled by example because His bride KNEW He was the one in charge. The same with Adam, Eve KNEW Adam was in charge. They still set the example.

how did Yeshua deal with the money changers? How did Yah deal with his rebellious brides over and over again? Bro both enforced authority (when necessary) and example are necessary.

 

[cnystrom]

I want to install a tracking app on both my wives’ phones for their safety an my piece of mind. They both object to it and claim it’s not necessary and that I am a micromanager. How do I get them to realize that it’s for their own good and that it’s their biblical duty to install the app on their phones. I have the right to insist on it as it’s my duty to keep them safe and to oversee them.

You do not need a special app on an Apple iPhone. Just ask them to share their location with you. We keep track of our kids that way. Also useful on long trips.

 

[Edward]

how did Yeshua deal with the money changers? How did Yah deal with his rebellious brides over and over again? Bro both enforced authority (when necessary) and example are necessary.

I think you're missing the point, the point is you don't have to rule by micromanaging or pushing your weight around, I'm the head of the house you do what I tell you to do!! Which is what P777 is doing. Yahweh and Yahshua dealt with those who were misbehaving they weren't micromanaging those who were behaving by adding extra rules and saying oh by the way for your safety I want you to put an app on your phone so I can keep track of you.

Yes I am aware that Yahweh has his rules, but like I said he is not micromanaging.

 

[MrB]

I don’t think it helpful to get down the road of a “does the husband have authority “ discussion
We’ve done that so many times already
The real question is not “do you have the authority to ask or demand to know the whereabouts of your wives?”
The real question is “ why is it necessary ?“

The counseling part of my brain sees an opportunity for personal development for those willing to ask themselves some hard questions.
At the core of it I would suggest there are issues of insecurity and confidence.
Authority and trust are distractions from the real questions.
There is a lot in this
But....
Good healthy relationships don’t need or thrive on this kind of overbearing behaviour.
If ever it was said “they love me so much , they won’t let me out of their sight and they track my every move”
It would be at a counseling session where it’s all fallen apart and all the kings horses and men are trying to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. (Nobody wants to be those people)

Somewhere in this we need to be encouraging each other to be better, stronger versions of ourselves.
The distraction of the discussion of “ I have the authority in my home ( to engage in destructive behaviour)” is not that smart or helpful.
Yes you have the authority!
Can God use somebody else to maybe show you there might be a better way?
Do you have the wisdom and ability to do something different?

 

[Pacman]

I think you're missing the point, the point is you don't have to rule by micromanaging or pushing your weight around, I'm the head of the house you do what I tell you to do!! Which is what P777 is doing. Yahweh and Yahshua dealt with those who were misbehaving they weren't micromanaging those who were behaving by adding extra rules and saying oh by the way for your safety I want you to put an app on your phone so I can keep track of you.

Yes I am aware that Yahweh has his rules, but like I said he is not micromanaging.

this I mostly agree with... it’s just that most of the time folks using the kind of rhetoric you started with are teaching some form of egalitarian crap and I think it valuable to have the discussion...

 

[rustywest4]

A husband is the Head of his wife, just as Christ is Head of His church... My question is, does a wife have any authority at all over her husband? Do we the church have any authority over our Lord Christ?

Scripture even instructs a wife to fully submit to an unbelieving husband! That says a lot about how God feels about Biblical Headship!

 

[Cap]

It seems to me that there is a blurred line between authority and love. Here is an example, a wife is in charge of a house, a home, she takes care of it. She needs the husband to pick up his things or run to the store to get something. Does she have to bow down and ask permission to ask him to do things or will he in love "submit" to her demands for the sake of the home? Is that wrong? Remember, washing the feet of others is an example of headship serving others.

Note: The word demand should have been request.

 

[Pacman]

It seems to me that there is a blurred line between authority and love.

There shouldn't be a "line" they are both part of the relationship between Yah and his people and should be the same for man and woman

Here is an example, a wife is in charge of a house, a home, she takes care of it. She needs the husband to pick up his things or run to the store to get something. Does she have to bow down and ask permission to ask him to do things or will he in love "submit" to her demands for the sake of the home? Is that wrong?

How much submitting does Messiah do towards the assembly? Does the assembly "demand" as you put it anything from the messiah? I am not aware of anyone saying that she should be "bowing down" but making a respectful request for him to do something is the right thing in your example.

Remember, washing the feet of others is an example of headship serving others.

Yes and that was a choice that he made and even required Peter to accept it. It wasn't demanded by the apostles and would have been completely inappropriate for them to do so. That one example has been twisted over and over by egalitarians to create emasculated men for centuries...

 

[steve]

Me: Walk away, steve, just walk away.

Also me: But......!

Me: #justdoit

 

[Cap]

Wedding at Cana. Another example. A woman told the Son of God what to do. Even if you take the honor your mother and father, most likely Joseph wasn't alive therefore, Yahshua was her covering, and she told him what to do

 

[Cap]

There shouldn't be a "line" they are both part of the relationship between Yah and his people and should be the same for man and woman

How much submitting does Messiah do towards the assembly? Does the assembly "demand" as you put it anything from the messiah? I am not aware of anyone saying that she should be "bowing down" but making a respectful request for him to do something is the right thing in your example.


Yes and that was a choice that he made and even required Peter to accept it. It wasn't demanded by the apostles and would have been completely inappropriate for them to do so. That one example has been twisted over and over by egalitarians to create emasculated men for centuries...

You are getting caught up in the word "demand" and you are politicizing a relationship based on love.

Sounds to me like you have issues with washing the feet of others.

 

[Pacman]

Wedding at Cana. Another example. A woman told the Son of God what to do. Even if you take the honor your mother and father, most likely Joseph wasn't alive therefore, Yahshua was her covering, and she told him what to do

John 2:1-5 NASB
[1] On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; [2] and both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. [3] When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, "They have no wine." [4] And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come." [5] His mother said to the servants, "Whatever He says to you, do it."

Where did she “tell him what to do”?

Seems to me she simply informed him of the problem and he took charge.

 

[Pacman]

You are getting caught up in the word "demand" and you are politicizing a relationship based on love.

Sounds to me like you have issues with washing the feet of others.

words have meaning. A woman demanding anything from her man is inappropriate.

I have no issues with acts of service and I encourage all men to do them voluntarily. But doing them because she demands it is not the example we are given and is also not masculinity.

 

[steve]

you are politicizing a relationship based on love.

How in Sam Hill did politics get involved?

 

[Cap]

John 2:1-5 NASB
[1] On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; [2] and both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. [3] When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, "They have no wine." [4] And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come." [5] His mother said to the servants, "Whatever He says to you, do it."

Where did she “tell him what to do”?

Seems to me she simply informed him of the problem and he took charge.

You can read into it what you like, obvious to me what happened. Mary had a need, implying to her son to fulfill it, he put up resists but then complied.

 

[Cap]

words have meaning. A woman demanding anything from her man is inappropriate.

I have no issues with acts of service and I encourage all men to do them voluntarily. But doing them because she demands it is not the example we are given and is also not masculinity.

So you think that the services of washing the feet of others is just a suggestion for a voluntary act and not a commandment from God?