Following with my heart and feelings shouldn't require me to void my common sense. I see what you're saying but my focus is not purely on what a man or family can do for me simply because I asked a question that is a concern. In my opinion most people on here aren't answering my question logically, they're answering emotionally. Logically- it's easier to let yourself go and trust your husband if you're the first wife because you have legal protection. If you're one of the additional wives and God forbid something happens to your husband, his first wife has every bit of control over the other wives, financially and asset wise. It then not only becomes about trusting your husband, you also have to trust that his first wife has your best interest at heart as well. Ideally that would be wonderful but lets not pretend the first wife couldn't just sell the house, drain the bank account and take off to Florida while you move back in with your parents at 40 years old. If you're ok with that possibility then that's perfectly ok. However I wouldn't contribute to a household that held all of the risk.Getting married is a risk, period. You have to let go of self, learn to trust and be vulnerable, and spend every day striving to be more like Christ. If your focus is on how you can help your husband, submit yourself completely to your husband, reverence your husband, die to self, and serve the Lord, I can pretty much guarantee that your marriage will be awesome. Whether you’re a first, second, etc wife. Work on making yourself as awesome of a wife you can be and, unless you married an absolute a-hole, your husband will not want to divorce you. Men willing to do biblical poly are not afraid of commitment and won’t kick a woman out just because he’s tired of her. Women leave way more than men do. I think Keith mentioned divorce statistics somewhere that said women divorcing their husbands is a higher percentage than men divorcing their wives. So, if you’re focus is on how to make yourself the best wife you can possibly be to your man, you should never have to worry about the possibility of divorce. Divorce and what would happen if your husband divorced you, shouldn’t be your focus. Rather, it should be on how can I help him, how can I serve him, how can I love him, how can I bring him joy? If that’s your goal and focus, he would be an absolute idiot to divorce you. And most men aren’t idiots. He can be married to an absolute ugly dog but, if she’s doing those things… he’s happy.
Also as far as men holding all of the risk, I don't exactly see it that way. Sure he would be required to half the assets with his first wife but he could also just walk away from the additional wives like they never existed with whatever they contributed because he has all of the control. That's just a reality.
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