Bible study + Dating = Good idea or Bad idea

[cnystrom]

It is always best to see how a person behaves over a long period of time and outside of the context of dating.

Agreed. I had known the single mom and 4 kids that I proposed to last year for 8 years previously. She knew I was a polygamy supporter for the last three of those years. We often did family activities together. No one was going to her son's football games so I started going regularly (every young man should have someone rooting for him in the stands). After a while our attraction and closeness got embarassing for others around us and it seemed like we would either have to stop seeing each other or I should propose. I proposed. But despite everything that happened previously apparently she was not ready for it and it did not work out (and it also ruined a good friendship). Sad but true story.

 

[rejoicinghandmaid]

Agreed. I had known the single mom and 4 kids that I proposed to last year for 8 years previously. She knew I was a polygamy supporter for the last three of those years. We often did family activities together. No one was going to her son's football games so I started going regularly (every young man should have someone rooting for him in the stands). After a while our attraction and closeness got embarassing for others around us and it seemed like we would either have to stop seeing each other or I should propose. I proposed. But despite everything that happened previously apparently she was not ready for it and it did not work out (and it also ruined a good friendship). Sad but true story.

Wow! Sorry to hear, but thanks for sharing.

 

[rockfox]

single mom and 4 kids

Watching long term behavior is unnecessary when the red flags are blowing in the wind.

 

[mystic]

Watching long term behavior is unnecessary when the red flags are blowing in the wind.

Yeah, @cnystrom, you dummy. You haven't learned from the tactful or the kindly, let alone the wise.

 

[Asforme&myhouse]

While I would always recommend someone take a lot of time in getting to know someone, time isn’t necessarily a magic bullet.

 

[cnystrom]

Yeah, @cnystrom, you dummy. You haven't learned from the tactful or the kindly, let alone the wise.

Believe me I paid the price! I still think about her every day.

 

[cnystrom]

The evolutionary guys would say that your going to a nice restaurant is just a platform for you to demonstrate that you’ll be a good provider. It almost doesn’t matter what happens during the dinner as long as you pick up the tab.

Signaling "provider status".

 

[IshChayil]

sorry to hear that @cnystrom. Everything is possible with the L-rd (as you know). I hope you are keeping your distance from her to let her see what she is missing.
Sometimes the womenfolk need reminding of our value. I think there is a process many women who ultimately decide to join a polygamous household go through and that's realizing "gee I'm not going to find him anywhere else". In your case, I hope she realizes what a mentsch you are; for her own sake and her kids.
May G-d comfort you in this.

 

[cnystrom]

sorry to hear that @cnystrom. Everything is possible with the L-rd (as you know). I hope you are keeping your distance from her to let her see what she is missing.

I have not talked to her in a year, but I might wish her Merry Christmas.