I did give the chapter.
Do you see a different explanation than the one that I have given?
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Dating a Married Man
- Thread starter Daniel DeLuca
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Do you see a different explanation than the one that I have given?
I used the plural, choices.
What didn’t come across very well in my statement was that under polygyny a woman has many more choices than under monogamy. She has a broader field to pick from.
At least you're being honest about this.
Oh, so well stated! Exactly my thoughts in another comment.
Problem is--wise women soon learn to identify those "pick up lines" which usually makes them disgustingly quaint and trite. You're in for a ride fella if she decides to have some fun at your expense because you thought pick up lines were the best way to get a fish on the hook.
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The 1st in line KR didn't want Ruth "because it will mar mine inheritance".
Boaz was the grandson of Nashon and Rahab--moabite. I've always thought that Boaz thought Ruth quite attractive when he first saw her--she reminded him of his grandmother, Rahab--then not to speak of the diligent work ethic he observed in the barley field, and the humility observed at lunch, and the fact that she tucked away some of what he'd given her for lunch to take home. He stepped back to give the 1st in line KR a chance, probably knowing he wouldn't take it, but was more than ready to step forward when it fell his lot to be the KR. No doubt Naomi was also aware of the blood line from Boaz to Rahab--this would have been common knowledge in Elimelech's home. God, however, is the One who caused Ruth's "hap" to light upon the field of barley belonging to Boaz that day. When Naomi learned of where Ruth had gleaned that day, immediately she knew of the potential for Ruth in the KR factor and instructed her accordingly. This was not a situation of a young widow approaching a married man; it had everything to do with the rights of a near kinswoman and kinsman redeemer.
To elaborate on what Steve said: I think you're getting a little backwards on how to determine what is right and wrong. Sin is disobedience to the Law. Without the Law, there is no sin. Therefore, everything is permissible unless it is forbidden somewhere.
A widow is allowed to remarry. (Romans 7:2). This is never forbidden anywhere. Therefore all widows, whatever their age, may remarry.
There are basically 3 ways for a widow to receive support, that are discussed in scripture: marriage, support by relatives, and support by the church. Paul states that only older widows meeting certain strict criteria should be supported by the church, all others should therefore be supported by relatives or remarry - and adds that in his opinion widows under the age of 60 would be best to remarry. That doesn't limit anyone from marrying. It's advice and commentary.
Also, nowhere does scripture say a woman should not approach a man for marriage. Therefore, a woman can approach a man. Any cultural rules that we may have grown up with are simply the words and practice of men, and may be helpful advice in some situations but are not something you have to follow.
Attempting to combine a response relating to both of your comments. I'd be interested in feedback on this because this embodies one of the biggest questions which has formed in my mind over the past few weeks. VV76 and Wellbelovedwife and I have discussed this very topic. In our society today and culture, it is absolutely considered immoral, taboo, unconscienable that a lady would even consider pursuing a relationship with a man she KNOWS is already married.
If the single man is seeking a wife, or if the man is married and seeking another wife as in BF it seems that is viewed as his God-given place and right. But for single women, widows, or divorced ladies to consider taking that sort of action--it's been inbred in us that we can't! We've been told all our lives the male must seek us out, pursue, initiate the contact, etc. Yet, as I've read some comments on this forum I'm led to believe women actually approach men?!?
I hope someone will respond and provide some clarity on this. I can't make any sense out of it--the right or the wrong OR is there a right or wrong?
Women, of all ages, approach men all the time in today's society. Actually they always have, it just takes different forms than the way men do it.
It is both.
- Ruth was a young widow, and she was approaching a (probably) married man.
- Within a complex cultural context that required one of the men in the family to marry her - but not necessarily the one she approached.
Really I guess that has everything to do with the mindset of the single--young, older, widow, single parenting or not, divorced, etc. There are many accounts of single moms who got 2 or 3 jobs to keep themselves and/or their family together during WWI, WWII, the Great Depression, etc. There are struggles no matter which way you go as a single--some you've never even considered before it happens. Living off the government only adds to the struggle in my opinion. With God as your source--which He should be--single or married, there is no limit to how He can and will provide.
I think the consensus among most is that Paul gives permission for the young widows to remarry and by virtue of silence doesn't extend the same to older widows.
Again, there's no chapter and verse--only an assumption as to what must have or might have been happening.
I did give the chapter. (Rejoicinghandmaid)
Do you see a different explanation than the one that I have given? (Steve)
My attempt at clarification: Agreed on guidelines for accepting "widows into the number" I Timothy 5:9
Disagreed on the assumption that because of martyrdom, war, etc. there is an understanding "The only choice that they would have is to choose a likely family an mak an application for membership." The widow of Zarephath who sustained Elijah had no one, but a son, and he was probably to young to work to help support. I wonder what would have happened to Naomi had Ruth not been in the picture. For sure Naomi would have returned to Israel.
In my original comment to your post I was attempting to press the question at hand regarding singles approaching married men. Hoping this helps without further confusion.
He gives permission to all widows to remarry in 1 Cor 7. He very strongly tells the young widows to marry in 1 Tim 5.
Having married an older widow within the last 7 months, I have zero concept of the consensus of which you speak.
You might be using the tradition of some men to read into Scripture what I cannot see.
I will maintain that it is completely reasonable for women to approach married men, but in reality it would probably be more comfortable to return to the grade school model.
Shucks, I myself have never, ever, flat out approached a woman directly. And I am happily married to two wonderful women.
Paul is NOT GIVING PERMISSION. He doesn't need to. All widows are already permitted to marry, have always been, this is never forbidden anywhere in scripture.
As Steve said, there is no such consensus, I have never heard such an argument before. Who teaches this?
You possibly are correct on this point.