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Example of monogamy-only damage

M

MemeFan

Seasoned Member
Male
Here we have another example of damage caused by monogamy-only mindset:

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Guy gets very lucky and then has troubles accepting another woman. There is also another issue of general fall of libibo and manliness in men.

Uh, and another thing. Her "cheating". We don't know how far physical it was, but here I agree with wife. Who cares? It's trust issue, but if polygyny was more accepted it wouldn't be a problem.

If wife comes home with another potential wife and husband has problem with it, I'm sorry, he is retarded. 😉
 
MemeFan said:
Uh, and another thing. Her "cheating". We don't know how far physical it was, but here I agree with wife. Who cares? It's trust issue, but if polygyny was more accepted it wouldn't be a problem.
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Well, given it was done without the consent of the husband, it is wrong. Clearly he believes it is wrong, and therefore for her to do it is actually sinful. Depending on your views on female-female action it may be considered acceptable once the other woman was a wife, but there is no way this can be framed as wholesome.

Nevertheless, he's still a fool - but only because he's been trained to be a fool by society. He who finds a wife finds a good thing - here God is giving him a great gift - and he cannot even see it because he's been trained to be blind.
 
FollowingHim said:
Well, given it was done without the consent of the husband, it is wrong. Clearly he believes it is wrong, and therefore for her to do it is actually sinful. Depending on your views on female-female action it may be considered acceptable once the other woman was a wife, but there is no way this can be framed as wholesome.

Nevertheless, he's still a fool - but only because he's been trained to be a fool by society. He who finds a wife finds a good thing - here God is giving him a great gift - and he cannot even see it because he's been trained to be blind.
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Well, he can change his mind after finding what has happened. That's his problem. He didn't change his mind.

What is with his testerone level? I just don't get it how his insticts didn't kick and scream from inside that his wife is right. Woman-woman action in any form isn't any threat to him.
 
Going to disagree strongly

While I dislike the notion of having to give orders or crack a proverbial whip within a relationship. Hand in glove cooperation and trust is vastly more my preference.
That said, she did not get permission, full stop.

I am not going to give any commentary on what I would or would not allow should permission be sought. The point remains whether a husband would allow it or not that this is a massive betrayal of trust and a flaunting of her husband's authority. She is a shit wife.
 
paterfamilias said:
Going to disagree strongly

While I dislike the notion of having to give orders or crack a proverbial whip within a relationship. Hand in glove cooperation and trust is vastly more my preference.
That said, she did not get permission, full stop.

I am not going to give any commentary on what I would or would not allow should permission be sought. The point remains whether a husband would allow it or not that this is a massive betrayal of trust and a flaunting of her husband's authority. She is a shit wife.
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And this is exactly problem. I disagree strongly with you. It's conflict of two different moral systems.

You and @FollowingHim are all seeing how she is bad bad bad wife just because she wasn't completely doing what her husband expected.

I expect wife to do what is in her best interest. Why? It's called being human. And because for me trust means not doing what I tell you, but act in my best interest and tell me literally anything without fear.

And I truly mean literally anything. Including worst parts. Especially those.

There is a just slight problem. You can't punish person for telling you truth. If he/she senses that being sensitive is path to punishment forget about real honesty.

So wife must be rewarded.

It's also reality that woman-woman "action" is by far least "problematic" sexual activity and don't forget: lesbians aren't real. Is least possible "crime".

This can't be longish affair. If this lasted several years he would be by way more pissed. Look at tone. He isn't angry, he is: It's unbeliveable.

What is also most not considered is that wife acted in husband's best interest. Almost certainly wife started having feeling for Charlotte or opposite, something started happening and girls started planning how to turn this into menage a trois. They probably did deed several times.

What is interesting is that nobody here has considered is husband being trustworthy. You are in good company. Same thought didn't occur in husband mind. He can't be blameless. Why wife didn't feel confident to tell him right away, but girls need to search way? This is on him only.

What she has done is female version of man finding lover, telling wife "Lord is OK with polygamy", wife finding truth. While we both agree this isn't optimal approach, it's also not a best way to correct thing. But it's a try to correct things. And this counts and doesn't deserve to be punished. In fact it should be rewarded.

In the end, I'm slightly sceptical about whole situation. We don't know whole story. But I what enough she isn't bad person. Nor a good person.

Situation leaves much to be desires, but evil isn't. Just messy humanlike.
 
MemeFan said:
And this is exactly problem. I disagree strongly with you. It's conflict of two different moral systems.

You and @FollowingHim are all seeing how she is bad bad bad wife just because she wasn't completely doing what her husband expected.

I expect wife to do what is in her best interest. Why? It's called being human. And because for me trust means not doing what I tell you, but act in my best interest and tell me literally anything without fear.

And I truly mean literally anything. Including worst parts. Especially those.

There is a just slight problem. You can't punish person for telling you truth. If he/she senses that being sensitive is path to punishment forget about real honesty.

So wife must be rewarded.

It's also reality that woman-woman "action" is by far least "problematic" sexual activity and don't forget: lesbians aren't real. Is least possible "crime".

This can't be longish affair. If this lasted several years he would be by way more pissed. Look at tone. He isn't angry, he is: It's unbeliveable.

What is also most not considered is that wife acted in husband's best interest. Almost certainly wife started having feeling for Charlotte or opposite, something started happening and girls started planning how to turn this into menage a trois. They probably did deed several times.

What is interesting is that nobody here has considered is husband being trustworthy. You are in good company. Same thought didn't occur in husband mind. He can't be blameless. Why wife didn't feel confident to tell him right away, but girls need to search way? This is on him only.

What she has done is female version of man finding lover, telling wife "Lord is OK with polygamy", wife finding truth. While we both agree this isn't optimal approach, it's also not a best way to correct thing. But it's a try to correct things. And this counts and doesn't deserve to be punished. In fact it should be rewarded.

In the end, I'm slightly sceptical about whole situation. We don't know whole story. But I what enough she isn't bad person. Nor a good person.

Situation leaves much to be desires, but evil isn't. Just messy humanlike.
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What if the man doesn't want to take the other woman? What if the other woman is a raging feminist or some nymphomaniac slut?

I wouldn't be happy with my wife if she brought home a dog without my permission. Bringing home a servant would be even more serious. A wife? Without my permission or charge for her to go and find me one? Very much out of line.

I agree that moving forward the man could just take them both. I could even say that after what the wife has done this is probably the best way for her to try and ask her husband's forgiveness. But this was not a situation that is okay. It has little to do with lesbianism or adultery or trust as compared to as much as it has to do with authority.
 
I will take L here.

I still remember big fight on this forum on father deciding daughter's husband.

When you will finally learn that being wise ruler is far more important than who is in change? This forum is too full of "I'm king". Person being more interested in being good boss wouldn't far care/don't notice how much permission did wife have.

Why? Because subordinate are properly trained and understood what boss wants.
 
MemeFan said:
I will take L here.

I still remember big fight on this forum on father deciding daughter's husband.

When you will finally learn that being wise ruler is far more important than who is in change? This forum is too full of "I'm king". Person being more interested in being good boss wouldn't far care/don't notice how much permission did wife have.

Why? Because subordinate are properly trained and understood what boss wants.
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I actually agree with you on the incorrect focus in many such discussions - but this subordinate did not understand what the boss wanted, which is the point everyone else is making.
 
FollowingHim said:
I actually agree with you on the incorrect focus in many such discussions - but this subordinate did not understand what the boss wanted, which is the point everyone else is making.
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What was first in your mind when your read my previous post? If if what was with wife, are you still in good mindset?

And what if boss is actually defective like lacking open-mindess and supporting initiative? And what forbids something and subordinate proves boss wrong? Is boss ego protection in order?

And subordinate has moral right to good boss.

And something very important. How do you expect polygyny to become accepted if when wife accidentally discovers it in practice you take side of one who forbids it (husband)? Polygyny requires expanding man's authority and responsibility. Maybe running from this shouldn't be acceptable option.
 
Here is food for thought:

Wife has single twin sister. When talking with husband, husband says one wife tis almost too much etc...

Wife still sends sister in husband's bed. Both finish pregnant. Is it OK for husband to disregard more resposibility now althought he has forbidden his wife to put him in "expanded rensposibility situation"?
 
MemeFan said:
How do you expect polygyny to become accepted if when wife accidentally discovers it in practice you take side of one who forbids it (husband)?
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Should our primary focus be supporting/promoting polygyny, or supporting/promoting righteousness?
 
FollowingHim said:
Should our primary focus be supporting/promoting polygyny, or supporting/promoting righteousness?
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Do both.

By the way, modern management has finally moved from being task-giver.

Being human means having agency which means having iniciative. You can't expect women never having idea or starting their something new.

Yes, situation from first post is royal screwup. But whole situation is fixable with one good spanking session. Husband is way overreacting.

And off course lesbianism doesn't exist. It's female sexual adaption for presence of other women in polygynyous household for better bonding between adult persons in household.
 
Of course do both. However, in this discussion, you are skewed way off in one direction - promoting polygyny - to the point that you are all-but-ignoring the unrighteousness of the situation, and thinking in a complete fantasy world where you assume all can be fixed with a wife-spanking. Another common theme for you.

Basically, just because it could potentially involve polygamy, you think it's great, and all the other details just have to be fixed in the simplest imaginable way. You are over-focussed on polygamy.
 
MemeFan said:
Do both.

By the way, modern management has finally moved from being task-giver.

Being human means having agency which means having iniciative. You can't expect women never having idea or starting their something new.

Yes, situation from first post is royal screwup. But whole situation is fixable with one good spanking session. Husband is way overreacting.

And off course lesbianism doesn't exist. It's female sexual adaption for presence of other women in polygynyous household for better bonding between adult persons in household.
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Son, your ideas about relationships are going to need some refining.
What they say about war, “no plan survives first contact with the enemy”, is very apropos for your approach to the circumstance in question.
 
This is a very messed up situation. While it isn't adultery proper, it is sexual misconduct. An analogous situation might be a husband going to prostitutes behind his wife's back. It isn't adultery proper since the prostitutes aren't married women, but it is still a serious problem for a number of reasons.
 
FollowingHim said:
Should our primary focus be supporting/promoting polygyny, or supporting/promoting righteousness?
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We want to promote righteousness in general, and righteousness in regard to marriage and family in particular. Righteous family structure includes patriarchy. Righteous family structure can (but typically doesn't) include polygyny. A wive running around engaging in lesbianism behind her husband's back is not acting righteously.
 
This is slightly off topic, but as the topic involves "lesbian sexual" activity, I'll throw in my thoughts on the matter.

I know a lot of you are open to it. This is based on the fact that the Bible doesn't seem to directly prohibit it, like it does adultery and male homosexual activity.

There is something to that argument, but I still think you guys are off track. A lack of condemnation is not the same as affirmation. With polygamy, we have positive Divine affirmation.

Let's compare and contrast "lesbian sexual activity" with polygyny.

1. God made the woman for the man. She is his helpmate. Multiple women may serve one man, but they were made for the man, not for each other. This woman was not helping or serving her man by fooling around with another woman behind his back. It was instead a type of betrayal.

2. The vagina is obviously made for the penis, not for other vaginas. Penis plus vagina results in the creation of life, while vaginas themselves produce nothing. This woman was engaging in a foolish and fruitless activity.

3. We have positive descriptions of polygamy in the Bible, where God clearly affirms the legitimacy of that practice. We have no positive descriptions of lesbianism in the Bible.

4. The Bible tells us that many Godly men and women practiced patriarchal polygamy. Men like Gideon, David, and Jacob were unrepentant lifelong polygamists and were still commended by God as righteous men of faith. We know of no godly woman who engaged in female to female "sexual activity".

5. Romans chapter one might include a condemnation of female to female "sexual activity" (though I realize heterosexual anal sex might alternatively be in view there).

Here is another possible comparison
A man who masturbates to porn all the time is not engaging in adultery (especially if the women in the porn aren't married). Nevertheless, the man is wasting his life engaging in worthless, and fruitless activity. He is making himself a loser. If he is married, he is depriving his wife of the passion that she should receive.

At best, this woman was making herself a loser by engaging in fruitless activities behind her husbands back.
 
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