Housing

[Joleneakamama]

That is exactly what my logistical brain would think! What is the purpose of ear hair? And if it is so important why when we are old and not when we are young? I need answers, Lord!

I have a few questions too that might not matter when I get there.

One is how in the world did several inches of plain ole water suddenly boil up out of the 4 gallon pot? Only happened once in many many years. Only that pot too, the others on the stove behaved normally.

 

[Tirtza]

Shalom
I have a sister wife and when her and hubby got married she moved in with us. Husband said he wanted his wife's in the same house so we can have a bond also. So with the sister wife show. They are better to be together and get their emotions together. They don't act like a plural marriage is supposed to be. So to me sister wife's should live together and work together.

 

[USDutchkitty]

Shalom
I have a sister wife and when her and hubby got married she moved in with us. Husband said he wanted his wife's in the same house so we can have a bond also. So with the sister wife show. They are better to be together and get their emotions together. They don't act like a plural marriage is supposed to be. So to me sister wife's should live together and work together.

I guess it depends on how the husband wants it. If he believes that the wives should have their own private spaces, besides the bedroom, then if he can make it happen, it can. The couple I was talking to last year, the husband wanted to have everyone in the same house, finishing the basement to convert it all as a living space, bathroom, closets, and two bedrooms for his wife and me, I was absolutely fine it that yet to each their own. But... It wasn't meant to be.

Yeah, I see the Brown family and I feel sorry for them. It's not a healthy family dynamic.

 

[Sons of Issachar]

My wife and I thought everyone should be together. Separate rooms sounds so wrong to us. Separate houses is right out. Seems not everyone agrees with that though? I think it would be good for us to learn more details, if someone can explain why the separation is good.

 

[steve]

Women are nesters, they build their nest.
Sharing a house can be hard for them, but, imo, they should be allowed their own rooms for a private nest and space to have the confidence that it is theirs.
Sometimes they just need some privacy.

 

[Keith Martin]

Women are nesters, they build their nest.
Sharing a house can be hard for them, but, imo, they should be allowed their own rooms for a private nest and space to have the confidence that it is theirs.
Sometimes they just need some privacy.

As long as that privacy doesn't entail a wife creating a space where her husband is unwelcome.

 

[USDutchkitty]

As long as that privacy doesn't entail a wife creating a space where her husband is unwelcome.

Oh no, that is what the opposite of what the space should be. It should be a space for the husband and wife, for me personally, also free of distraction. If I could have a separate room to have my TV, computer, etc, even my library, so (when I marry) I can devote the private space with him? The freedom that would be.

 

[steve]

As long as that privacy doesn't entail a wife creating a space where her husband is unwelcome.

That would simply be a manifestation of deeper problems in the relationship.

I once told a lady that she was the type of woman who would like her own tower that she could invite or disinvite her husband into. She thought it a compliment that I understood her.
No surprise, when she did marry she had her own bedroom and he had his.

 

[USDutchkitty]

That would simply be a manifestation of deeper problems in the relationship.

I once told a lady that she was the type of woman who would like her own tower that she could invite or disinvite her husband into. She thought it a compliment that I understood her.
No surprise, when she did marry she had her own bedroom and he had his.

That's sad. Like I stated if my future husband wants me to have my own space, or home because of children and such, I will follow what he wants but I would never, ever "invite him". It is a special place. He would help create that safe place for me and my family to call home, he would start the foundation of it.

 

[Sons of Issachar]

Women are nesters, they build their nest.
Sharing a house can be hard for them, but, imo, they should be allowed their own rooms for a private nest and space to have the confidence that it is theirs.
Sometimes they just need some privacy.

My wife and I have no private spaces we don't share. I guess that is why we don't understand. Everyone is different. Maybe some people need that. I've heard of men needing their "man cave" in the basement or garage. I guess some women have a similar need? I'm not being critical of it, just trying to understand something that we can't relate to.

Sweet! The edit button is finally enabled for me! I don't have to double post!

So, follow up question, why would someone want a bedroom for their private space, rather than a sewing room or study or such?

 

[steve]

My wife and I have no private spaces we don't share.

My statement was about women sharing with other women.
Husbands naturally belong in her nest with her, other women don’t fit as naturally.
My opinion is that wives shouldn’t be expected to share the bedroom with other wives, sharing the kitchen is hard enough.

That is my personal belief, evidently some families don’t see it that way but I don’t know if it takes an emotional toll. I suspect that it might, but I could be wrong.

 

[Gary Slaughenhaupt]

So, follow up question, why would someone want a bedroom for their private space, rather than a sewing room or study or such?

Snoring

 

[USDutchkitty]

My statement was about women sharing with other women.
Husbands naturally belong in her nest with her, other women don’t fit as naturally.
My opinion is that wives shouldn’t be expected to share the bedroom with other wives, sharing the kitchen is hard enough.

That is my personal belief, evidently some families don’t see it that way but I don’t know if it takes an emotional toll. I suspect that it might, but I could be wrong.

Especially when the first wife has been there longer and set up the feel of the home and another wife comes in. When I was talking to the Missouri couple, we constantly talked of how we would make living in one house work, especially to make the first wife comfortable with the idea of adjusting to someone new there.

 

[MeganC]

So, follow up question, why would someone want a bedroom for their private space, rather than a sewing room or study or such?

Sometimes you need a space that's not off limits to your husband or sw's but to your kids. You just need a place to go to that's a retreat for prayer, for a nap, or just to take some time and reset your head. For me it's the computer room or the laundry room. I enforce my laundry room space by making anyone who intrudes on me have to fold clothes.

 

[USDutchkitty]

Sometimes you need a space that's not off limits to your husband or sw's but to your kids. You just need a place to go to that's a retreat for prayer, for a nap, or just to take some time and reset your head. For me it's the computer room or the laundry room. I enforce my laundry room space by making anyone who intrudes on me have to fold clothes.

Yes, I live with parents and I do this as well, especially when it is my turn to cook! "I love you all but out! Ya'll never complain about my cooking and this is why. Good headspace, good cooking!"

 

[julieb]

It is good you are thinking about these things. I would encourage you to always leave room for adjustments in your expectations. Some women are very social and desire a lot of interaction where other women are more comfortable with less togetherness and more "me" time. I would say be wise in who you pick to marry, making sure she fits into your idea of how you want your family to be, but God doesn't always take into account our "wishes." He is working his own plan and that might just upheaval your plans.

There are many different kinds of woman and they all need different ways/things to make them feel safe and loved. Husbands have the daunting task of creating a family that works together well but takes those differences into account. Have some ideas of what you think would work well, but always have an open heart to whatever the Lord brings you. I suspect it will be quite different than you think and that you will gain a lot of wisdom and maturity embracing it.

 

[USDutchkitty]

It is good you are thinking about these things. I would encourage you to always leave room for adjustments in your expectations. Some women are very social and desire a lot of interaction where other women are more comfortable with less togetherness and more "me" time. I would say be wise in who you pick to marry, making sure she fits into your idea of how you want your family to be, but God doesn't always take into account our "wishes." He is working his own plan and that might just upheaval your plans.

There are many different kinds of woman and they all need different ways/things to make them feel safe and loved. Husbands have the daunting task of creating a family that works together well but takes those differences into account. Have some ideas of what you think would work well, but always have an open heart to whatever the Lord brings you. I suspect it will be quite different than you think and that you will gain a lot of wisdom and maturity embracing it.

*points a big "THIS"*

 

[steve]

For us, one house makes it more of a team.

If you want to make Yah laugh, just tell Him your plans.

 

[Aubrey Jo]

Y’all, I’ve wondered about this subject and wanted to get feedback from the married folks here. For instance, Kody Brown and his wives have separate houses, but before that they shared a house, granted it was very small for that many people.

What are your thoughts or views on residing in the same house or separate housing?

Personally, I feel like one house will fit me. Considering I want to have a big house anyways with a minimum of 5 bedrooms.

Firstly, hello my name is Aubrey Jo. I am a second wife. I've been married for almost 11 years.

My sister wife and I live in the same house. However, she has her own bedroom, bath and closet and I have my own bedroom, bath and closet. Essentially a master suite and a mother-in-law suite. All other areas of the home are shared, including kids rooms. All of our kids are mixed in together. This works great for us.

That being said very dear friend of mine owned a duplex and had one wife on each side. Rooms and space were exactly the same, just a mirror image. Worked great for them, not ideal for me.

We meant the whole Brown family in person in their homes and remain in contact with Christine Brown. One interesting thing that they have mentioned the many times, both in their show and off their show is that their relationship as sister wives changed dramatically when they weren't living under one roof. And some of them would say dramatically for the worst.

Some of the greatest benefits in my mind of living polygamy today are the support of having multiple adults handling chores, bills and children. This support can still be there, but is much less prominent if living separately. There is also a mental/emotional intimacy that comes from seeing each other, and being a part of each other's everyday life, that kind of bonding takes place better when everyone's under one roof. Also a working towards the same goal, as the same family, under the same roof closeness. These benefits and things that draw family together are significantly lessened when you have family living across town or in other houses. Not saying that it's impossible. But of all the poly families I have known the ones living under the same roof tend to do better and live happier.

Just an opinion but definitely something to think about. Now if constantly being this close causes constant argument, wives may do better in duplex or townhouse situations. But in that case, I would suggest being careful to be sure that space form and function are equal between wives.

Where one chooses to live is simply not as important as the bonds that you choose to forge together. Do what works for you, But come together as a complete family as often as possible. Good luck.

 

[primrose]

My sister wife and I live in the same house. However, she has her own bedroom, bath and closet and I have my own bedroom, bath and closet. Essentially a master suite and a mother-in-law suite. All other areas of the home are shared, including kids rooms. All of our kids are mixed in together. This works great for us.

I’ve thought about similar type of setup that seemed ideal to me. I’ve seen the homes with dual masters and like the flexibility of them.

Some of the greatest benefits in my mind of living polygamy today are the support of having multiple adults handling chores, bills and children. This support can still be there, but is much less prominent if living separately.

There is also a mental/emotional intimacy that comes from seeing each other, and being a part of each other's everyday life, that kind of bonding takes place better when everyone's under one roof.

I share a similar viewpoint and hearing from someone who’s lived it, I find this very helpful.

Where one chooses to live is simply not as important as the bonds that you choose to forge together. Do what works for you,

Love this, thank you for being so open in sharing