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Patrick from Ireland, looking for wise men to walk with

Patrick Lauser

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Male
Hello all!

Long story short, I was convinced by the Bible that polygyny is innocent, but have not yet been able to make any serious contact with others who realize this.

As I grew up it slowly dawned on me that I wasn't hearing of anyone marrying multiple wives, yet when we read the Bible every year I got a very different picture. I got the impression that people simply didn't do it anymore, but was not fully aware of how wrong they thought it was.

I remember in one of my private talks my father would have with me I brought up the question. He said that it was revealed in the New Testament that it was not God's plan, and that God blesses those that don't do it. He referred to Matthew 19:4 / Mark 10:6 as being God's revelation that Adam's marriage is to be a pattern for us to follow. We came to a somewhat settled conclusion that it was not a sin, but it was unwise. I decided to look for a more clear revelation on the subject as we read the Bible every year.

As far as I can remember this was my case for years until I saw a discussion of the topic on an online Bible discussion forum and looked at it out of curiosity. Someone posted this article in full as part of the discussion, and since then I came across the same article in another place; which is strange as it does not appear to be anywhere close to the best or even a good presentation of arguments against multiple wives. Reading it was my first exposure to the extremity of the stance, and how many people seemed to agree with it was an even greater shock. It became a subject that I considered more seriously. Here is my response in that online discussion, the first thing I think I ever wrote in defense of multiple wives (at the time I still thought multiple wives were not permitted for bishops and deacons).

I am in an awkward situation though. Simply the fact that I came to my full conclusion because of an online discussion forum is awkward, though I had been presented first with basically the most moderate and reasonable form of this prejudice and had yet been skeptical. I have already been accused of rejecting the "law" of first mention just because people use it against multiple wife marriage, even though I never considered this "law" to be a scripturally sound principle before.

Also awkward is that I grew up believing the KJV was a perfect translation, and have since found that it is not (for many of the same reasons modern corrupt translations are not, though the KJV is not nearly as corrupt as they are). Both advocates of the KJV and advocates of anti-polygynism would say my rejection of the KJV is suspiciously "convenient" for my stance on multiple wives.

I found an old book online in defense of multiple wives, but didn't want to read any more than the introduction because I wanted to make a more open stand on the position having only the Bible before I read a whole book about the issue. I somewhat have a fear of people saying I was convinced by other people when I was in fact convinced by the Bible alone.

All the same after I came to my conclusion I searched online for like-minded people out of curiosity and isolation. It is interesting to note that even if I did not specify "Christian", I came up with mainly Christians. I attempted to connect with some of the people I found, but I was never really able to for one reason or another.

All of my family and friends are against it as far as I know. When I came to my conclusion I only knew of one person online who was not against it (and I am not sure if he was a Christian). Other than that there was only a couple of families with multiple wives in a children's book about children from other countries (a Jordanian family and a Maasai Tanzanian family, which followed some form of Christianity).

I was of course told the line that no one else believes this, so I will never find a wife. Of course, if this is true than I would rather not marry. But it is unlikely that the practice of the prophets is universally abhorred in the body of Christ.

Some other information about me: I grew up in Washington state, in the pacific northwest, spent a year in Texas, and my family has been living in Ireland for about ten years now. We are non-denominational Bible believers, but generally go to fundamental, independent Baptist churches, though we had a small home-church for many of my formative years.

We have been kicked out of a church because we did not believe Calvinism. We were kicked out of another church because we considered starting a church (which the pastor objected to for complicated reasons). Because of this it may sound strange, but my family doesn't really talk to people about disagreements we may have with them, and even try to avoid situations in which disagreements would come up. This is the mindset I have grown up with (and partly is one of the things I disagree with). It has made it difficult for me to talk to anybody about the things I disagree with my family about, because I feel that I am indirectly confronting them. I hope I can change that.

I have discussed multiple wives on Christian dating sites, and one deleted my account, saying:

"We do not believe having multiple wives is unbiblical per se. We do know
that in the past, God has allowed men to marry multiple wives. However,
we also believe God's intention is for marriage to be a a union between
one man and one woman. We believe that God condoning polygamy can be
traced back to socio-economic situations that do not exist anymore in
most societies of today. This article best explains our position:
https://gotquestions.org/polygamy.html

Because if this, but also due to the facts that a) nearly anywhere
polygamy is prohibited, and b) today most (if not all) ladies do not
want to share their husbands, we have come to the conclusion that we
cannot be a platform for singles who are seeking more than one spouse,
or contemplating marrying more than one spouse, either by trying to
decriminalize it or by relocating to an area where polygamy is condoned."

On another Christian dating site these are some responses I got:

“And with very high standards? do you think my pole dancing can't pass in your standard? oh my!!!”

“Hi Patrick,
We are Christians here, we would not compromise our faith. A man is for a woman and that would be for only one. May God change your heart.
God bless!”

“I think when he dies he dies with his face smiling...hahaha”

“haha,
smiling maybe,
but there will be no resurrection of it!”

“here if the real wife found out the husband have mistress...it's either the mistress hair will all be pull out from her scalp or the husband's happiness be cut off!!! (ouch)”

“ “or the husband's happiness be cut off!!! (ouch)”
Yes! true what ___ said some they wont just cut off! but they will cook it too! Dont play! play! Lol!”

“Guys this post gave us a lot of face muscle exercise. This is freaking funny.
Will he still be capable of playing golf when having five wives? I bet its going to be a hole in five instead of one. Hahaha, OMG forgive us for we dont know what we are doing.”

“my bookeeper just came into the room and it took me a few moments to compose myself, almost wet my knickers, hahaha”


So that is the long and short of it.

Here are some links to me in other places:

Facebook
Pinterest
Twitter
Website
Wordpress
Patreon


Your servant in Christ,
Patrick.
 
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Shalom and blessings, @Patrick Lauser .

You may have finally found a home! Looking jirward to getting to know you. Lots here to read and catch up on... so, welcome aboard.
 
While we have members all over the world, the lion's share are in the Westren hemisphere, so I guess the Europeans have to wait fie us to get up and get active, or make some of their own noise...
 
No, just more secular. Not searching the Scriptures, but also some language barriers.... (I don't speak Czech. Or German, heck, I barely speak English.) :D
 
Hello from Texas.

I know the isolation you speak of when God gives you the realization that plural marriage is not only not sinful but encouraged by God and that there is only those around you that are following the cultural teaching of monogamy only. This forum is a great place to find Christians that take God and His Word seriously. Which is why we all understand that plural marriage God's design.

I hope Biblical Families is as much of a blessing for you as it has been for me.
 
Welcome Patrick! I hope you find some encouraging posts here.
 
Welcome from Texas To BF Patrick.

Remember if anyone is using using the law of first mention against you, unless they're a nudist vegan monogamous they're a hypocrite.

Pray for them because it shows a lack of understanding Gods unchanging sinless nature. If often found that after you drop the poly bomb, surivers are more open to other biblical truths and are willing to strip away the other traditions of man being taught as doctrine in denominational churches, and even in nondenominational ones. Its like an underground railroad, helping people escape slavery to mans dogma and finding freedom in Gods word.
 
Peace be with you Patrick.

Really like your signature line, that's good pro-poly rhetoric.

We have been kicked out of a church because we did not believe Calvinism. We were kicked out of another church because we considered starting a church (which the pastor objected to for complicated reasons). Because of this it may sound strange, but my family doesn't really talk to people about disagreements we may have with them, and even try to avoid situations in which disagreements would come up. This is the mindset I have grown up with (and partly is one of the things I disagree with). It has made it difficult for me to talk to anybody about the things I disagree with my family about, because I feel that I am indirectly confronting them. I hope I can change that.

I have lived a life not much different than that so I feel what they're going through. That avoidance of disagreement is a coping mechanism to protect themselves. Humans have a need to belong to a tribe and a life like that strips you of that sense of belonging; it can be very traumatic.

That is one of the immense values of this place. Here you know you're not alone. You're not crazy. There are others like you who have seen this and accept you. We know what you're going through having lived it ourselves.

y. Someone posted this article in full as part of the discussion, and since then I came across the same article in another place; which is strange as it does not appear to be anywhere close to the best or even a good presentation of arguments against multiple wives. Reading it was my first exposure to the extremity of the stance, and how many people seemed to agree with it was an even greater shock.

That piece is a pretty good defense emotionally/rhetorically. That it speaks several falsehoods and is unconvincing from a logical perspective if you know the scriptures well means little to most people because most people are wired to seek out evidence that confirms their bias and dismiss that which contradicts it. So it is a great piece from their perspective because it assuages their anxiety that they might be wrong and liable to face rejection by their social circle.

I was of course told the line that no one else believes this, so I will never find a wife. Of course, if this is true than I would rather not marry. But it is unlikely that the practice of the prophets is universally abhorred in the body of Christ.

You'd be shocked how many women are open to this. But you may have trouble finding decent wife material for other reasons.
 
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Welcome to Biblical Families!
This place is a wonderful refuge from the sort that would have kicked the patriarchs of scripture out of "their church."
The members here are diverse, and there are plenty of other differences in theology, but a desire for the truth and love for God and each other are present as well.
I am mom to two younger members here who are sure to appreciate your thoughtful and well written introduction.

I hope you find the people here, as well as the forum and ministry a blessing....I know I have!
 
Remember if anyone is using using the law of first mention against you, unless they're a nudist vegan monogamous they're a hypocrite.

That's a very good point.

First mention is a weak argument. I usually point out that in the first mention of siblings in scripture one murders the other. So if they stick to first mention for making plural marriage a sin they have to also admit that parents having more than one child is also sinful.
 
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