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Meat Sexual Duties & Children

While I do agree with some of the points rockfox has made there are some things to take away from this. Women are human too. We get tired we have bad moods, and biologically we are not as hardwired for constant sex and arousal like men are. I think apart from spirituallity, that is why a lot of men go for multiple women. Men instinctively desire to have intercourse with as many women as possible, whereas a woman is happier settling with one secure man.

That being said as a wife living in a submissive marriage I believe I do have a duty to fulfill my husbands sexual needs. This may mean doing things that I may not be entirely comfotable with at first or being intimate when I'm not in the mood. But marriage is about taking care of it. If I as a woman am willing to sexually submit to my husband it is with the understanding that he does not abuse his power to treat me as a toy for his pleasure. If that trust is broken then that leads to serious issues within your marriage
What’s wrong with being a toy for pleasure? As long as that’s not all a woman is then there’s nothing wrong with it being what she sometimes is.
 
I would respectfully disagree that men are wired to be more sexually driven than women.
Ahem, Trojan war. 😉

Women may speak bad about another woman or sabotage other woman for love, but they won't wage war. There is reason why unemployed unmarried young men are most dangerous group.
 
I wonder if women in general have been misguided sexually both in the past and present. In the past it was taught and assumed that woman had no sexual drive; that they were given for the mans pleasure and procreation. Fast forward to the present and we find worldly women actively promiscuous imitating how they presume a man would behave. All that feminist BS.
Both of these scenarios seem like the extreme end of a flawed, sinful spectrum.
I must therefore go to the obvious observable fact. Woman are sexual creatures. Case in point (I am trying to be delicate here) if we were not sexual creatures why did God create us with so many, how shall I put this... receptors for pleasure. You can’t see but I’m blushing. :) It’s a very private topic but I felt led to point out that within a covenant relationship being the mode of your husbands pleasure and he yours should be the goal (procreation aside). I would respectfully disagree that men are wired to be more sexually driven than women. I would however, definitely agree that men are more visually stimulated than women. Women are more relationally and emotionally stimulated (in general). This looks different for each woman. So in saying that I would sum up that while the modes of our sexual desire are different our capacity for the desire of physical intimacy is in reality on par. That being said I do acknowledge that feminine hormones and age do play a role in diminished desire. However, in a covenant relationship where both parties aim to please there should be no shortage of desire. Please don’t misunderstand. My intent is in no way to say any woman that isn’t interested in physical intimacy is wrong. I fully understand being sick or exhausted. However, I would ask that you consider understanding what gives you pleasure when you are with your Husband, encourage him. It’s a win-win for both of you. I have probably said too much so I’ll leave it at that.
As always this is only my opinion based off my observations, what ever there worth.
I often feel guilty escaping to my shop or taking a day riding my motorcycle. I know I’ve got my duties to preform for her and all but what about when I have a headache? Sometimes I just want to be held and not groped like a piece of meat or some toy. I mean really, I get it, so I’ve got some skills. That doesn’t mean that I’m not good for anything else! Ive got so much more to offer, but she doesn’t care about any of that. Its like once she realized what she had, that’s all she ever saw me as good for. I turned a switch on in her and created a monster. Sometimes I feel so cheap and used.

…Nah, whom I kidding? I love it.
 
Usual social assumption is that using others for sexual pleasure is bad. It comes in many variants.
I think co-wife and I go by the principle there's nothing we won't try twice. Once to try it, and again just to make sure. Our husband has been very creative with that lol, but we still haven't found anything we weren't willing to do for him. So in that sense I guess I am a sex toy for my husband and proud of it <3
 
I think co-wife and I go by the principle there's nothing we won't try twice. Once to try it, and again just to make sure. Our husband has been very creative with that lol, but we still haven't found anything we weren't willing to do for him. So in that sense I guess I am a sex toy for my husband and proud of it <3
I like your philosophy.

When heights were NOT my thing I once jumped off a thirty+ foot high rock ledge into the water....twice.
Sometimes a first is over too fast to have an opinion. 😉
 
Um, what if the woman likes being used for her husband's sexual pleasure? I find it a compliment.
I'm not talking about your particular case, but what is general belief is public.

Average man is taller than average woman, but some women are taller than man. Same logic.
 
Read bits and pieces of the thread but not all, so perhaps this has been expressed already.

Each marriage is different, including multiple marriages within a given family. None of us are cookie cutter people so it is hard to just map out perfect dynamics with a big brush.. So I would think that one of the most important things at the beginning of a getting to know you early to pre courting period is expectations.
I mean that in broad terms. Expectations and goals with respect to division of labor, children and how to raise them, where one stands on moral/cultural/political/faith issues, do they believe in divorce and yes nookie issues. Is your preference that it be infrequent, constant or does it involve a trapeze and a reinforced chandelier.

Early frank conversations can help to make sure you are genuinely a good match before anyone begins to develop feelings that could be hurt if it is not a match.
Last, I think if both parties are in this with their partners happiness as a firm goal and doesn't feel comfortable with being a dick to each other even in times of stress, then I imagine everyone is going to be happier and come closer to being fully satisfied in all aspects.
 
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Um, what if the woman likes being used for her husband's sexual pleasure? I find it a compliment.
Right?! My husband's bedroom expectations were made very clear to me before I entered this marriage and I willingly submitted to them when I still married him. Sure my husband has had sex with me when I wasn't in the mood, but that's what I consesnted to when I entered the marriage. The same goes with what happens in the bedroom. Even if what my husband is suggesting makes me uncomfortable I always make sure to go through with it because he is my leader. I trust him to challenge me and shelter me at the same time. And from that I can honestly say I've never been regretful of any of the things I've done for him.

It is such a compliment to know that even as I get older I'm always desired by my husband and that he is looking to create new experiences with me.
 
I like to joke that I'm 5'12". II used to say 5'10" just because saying you're six feet tall intimidates some people.
Tall and lots of kids...sure there is no sister hiding in the wings?
 
A lot of marriages suffer from decreased sex if not outright dead bedrooms. Its so bad out there that amoung men we interact with who are past the honeymoon stage the default assumption is that very little sex goes on in marriage. They are shocked that it could be any other way.

There are a lot of causes and situations but one of the places this commonly goes array is when children show up.



Consciously or subconsciously it matters not. I hear from a lot of men that the new kid unnecessarily interferes with the sex life. Often it comes in the form of 'too tired' or 'don't wake the baby' or keeping the kid in the bed or resisting moving the kid into his or her own room. But no matter how you slice it, the kid get's in the way of their sex life and she's not helping matters any.



Our grandmothers and great-grandmothers found time to fulfill their sexual duties and they had 2 or 3 or 4 times as many kids and a whole lot fewer modern conveniences to help around the house. Wives today have never had it easier around the home: dishwashers, automatic washing machines, prepared meals, freezers, grocery stores, public schooling. MOST of their work has been automated or outsourced. Yet more than ever they claim to not have the time and energy.

No, they're just excuses. This could be outright manipulation. It could be the result of flagging desire (more on that later). Or it could be a symptom of failing to appreciate her duties or show him reverence in life.

We know these are excuses because when it comes to our other duties in life (going to work, taking care of the children, going into battle, etc) failing is not excused if someone has a lack of sleep. The problem here is wives don't view keeping their husband sexually satisfied as a marital duty on par with caring for their household duties; if they even view it as a duty at all.

But it is a woman's duty. One of if not the highest of all her duties.

If a woman values being a good wife, a good Christian, she'll keep her husband sexually satisfied. And even when she has a house full of children she'll find a way to make it happen instead of using the children as an excuse.

When busy moms neglect their husbands they're communicating that they are here for the children but not for him. That he is only there to shovel money and time her way and she won't reciprocate.

More on how husbands can handle this situation in a followup post.
This entire thread reminded me of an issue I find lurking in this forum. Biblical Families has a feminist undertone to it. It is 1 step from the Christian Church, which is afraid to speak about any hard biblical facts pertaining to women. Men come out in drones to defend women, even when they know the men who stand up to call it out are correct. In @rockfox original post, he spoke 100% truth. Too many men are running overseas to find wives for this very reason.

I would never tolerate my wife letting herself go, putting the children above me, or not taking care of her duties with me sexually. If any area were to be lacking, it would be called out immediately. There are no excuses for that outside of physical health complications.

Men constantly defend women's behaviors, and this is why many men have these issues with their wives. Even men who defend their wives (or other men's bad wives), it's because they've been conditioned by feminism and feel it's their duty as men to defend women's inexcusable behaviors. After skimming and reading some posts on this thread, I didn't find one argument against what @Rockford said that had any value. His theory and accusations pertaining to the original post are true and many men suffer with this if they don't command otherwise in their households. I command otherwise in my household and my command is honored. Even dressing a certain way to stimulate my eyes only at home is expected and obeyed.
 
Men come out in drones to defend women, even when they know the men who stand up to call it out are correct. In @rockfox original post, he spoke 100% truth.

Men constantly defend women's behaviors, and this is why many men have these issues with their wives. Even men who defend their wives (or other men's bad wives), it's because they've been conditioned by feminism and feel it's their duty as men to defend women's inexcusable behaviors.
No wonder today's women are behaving badly. There are no consenquences.
 
True patriarchy means that men don’t get to butt in to other men’s homes. If what is being referred to here is that iron clad rule being enforced then you’re all just nuts.

You don’t get to sit in judgement of another man’s woman and you damn sure don’t get to call her out. Most men have all they can handle managing their own homes and in all my years I’ve yet to meet a man even remotely qualified to manage another man’s home.

Women are also on a journey from flawed brokenness towards a more perfect representation of the church. If they’re making progress then they shouldn’t be beat down for not being all the way there yet.

There’s no perfect men and there’s no perfect women. If we need to handle something with leadership then pick a moderator and start a conversation.
 
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