The Enemy of MY Family

[Verifyveritas76]

We said the same thing

 

[cnystrom]

The TV show manifest has a perfect subplot for polygyny. A group of people are taken forward in time by 5 1/2 years. One woman found her best friend had married her fiancé during that 5 1/2 year time frame. Both in love with the same guy, both women are best friends. What a great scenario and they are using it to cause a rift between the two women. A polygamous relationship would cause better ratings if the producers would just think outside the box.

I know. I saw the show and had the exact same thought. And the fiance seems to still have strong feelings for her.

 

[Just-a-man]

"But this morning, I realized something. Whether the fault lies with the culture, or the Christian upbringing or lack thereof, or the men and women who (advertently or inadvertently) presented me with two and only two options for my life (celibacy and monogamy), they were the catalyst that kept me from my God given right to build my family as I chose. It’s all about the family. If I had full knowledge of poly and chose to restrict myself to monogamy, then I’d have no room to complain about it. No one else would be responsible for restricting my family. But thats not the case. In fact, I am certain that had I known that polygyny was a biblically acceptable construct, I would definitely have pursued a couple of other wives when I was younger.

This is spot on, Verifyveritas76. Appreciate you sharing. This exactly describes the frustration that I've been dealing with for the past year (when I learned that poly was Biblical) and have just started seriously discussing with my wife. I'm not always the best in accurately translating my thoughts into writing but your testimony helps put a voice to my feelings and understanding. Thank you.

Definitely in the angry/bitter stage and feel cheated since this was never communicated honestly to me but was instead condemned to go with the culture's definition. It's mind blowing to see that there is a different way to build my family in a Biblical and God-honoring way (you put this well BTW). Yet, this was kept from me. I anxiously picture myself behind the preverbal 8-ball and am figuring out how to catch back up, if you will. On the other hand, I'm also beating myself up since I never read the scriptures in an honest way for my own understanding. In my past readings of the word, I've read over many of the passages mentioned on the Scriptures Index page but never questioned things or just glossed over it with my "monogamy only" glasses on. How could I miss something so obvious and just chock it up to "they did it that way back then for some reason, but that's not how we do it today" or something similar? It makes me wonder if part of me didn't question because life was simply easier going down the prescribed monogamy path.

For some extra context, I'm 30 years old and have been married almost 4 years. I can't even begin to comprehend how I would've handled my life differently had the opportunity for having multiple wives been known. That aside, I also went back and checked on the vows that I wrote and they seem to be pretty Biblical without the promise to be a one-wife-man on my part. My wife's vows are very short but that's also in part because I was not nearly as knowledgable on my role/call as a husband back then. Thank the Lord for giving wisdom for those who ask. We should probably redo them in the future to be more Biblical, but that's a discussion for another day

Vows:

Me: I vow to be patient,

Wife: I vow to be kind,

Me: I vow to not envy,

Wife: I vow to not boast,

Me: I vow not be prideful,

Wife: I vow to not keep a record of wrongs.


Me (only):

Just as my Father loves me first, I vow to sacrificially pursue your good before my own

Just as my Savior intercedes on my behalf before our heavenly Father, I vow to listen, to obey, and to teach His word to you - that you may know and be cleansed in the redeeming work of the Gospel.

Just as my Father treasures me and is lavishly generous on my life, I vow to spend the rest of my life with you, to give you everything I have, to lay down my life for you. You are my beloved.

 

[Just-a-man]

Sorry, somehow I messed up the reply in what I was trying to quote. At least it's in the [QUOTE/] brackets though it's not as easy of a read.....

 

[PeteR]

Sorry, somehow I messed up the reply in what I was trying to quote. At least it's in the [QUOTE/] brackets though it's not as easy of a read.....

Use the 'reply' to quote a whole post or highlight the specific portion you want and 'reply' will appear... to fix your previous quote, put a ] after your opening use of [QUOTE

 

[PeteR]

I anxiously picture myself behind the preverbal 8-ball and am figuring out how to catch back up, if you will. On the other hand, I'm also beating myself up since I never read the scriptures in an honest way for my own understanding.

Patience... you are beginning a long journey! Settle in with and gently lead the woman you have and Abba will guide you.

 

[Verifyveritas76]

I’ll second what PeteR said. Everyone thinks that there’s a hurry to fix things. At this point for us, nearly 2 1/2 years in, after making monumental strides in personal and Christian growth, my @Well loved wife is just now approaching a point that I hope it would be safe to consider adding to my family. If you look at many of the wives posts thru the years, there are always levels of theoretical acceptance of a plural family structure. Do not confuse these with her actual readiness to participate in a plural family structure! That would be a grave mistake that you would make at great risk to your existing family.

Take it slow! Allow the father to grow you in monumental ways! Become the leader that you were intended to be and bring her gradually along this path. God will bless you in time if you behave as a shepherd and husband your little flock.

 

[frederick]

How could I miss something so obvious and just chock it up to "they did it that way back then for some reason, but that's not how we do it today" or something similar? It makes me wonder if part of me didn't question because life was simply easier going down the prescribed monogamy path.

Brother, I'm twice your age now and it was only four years ago I discovered polygamy being biblically right for Christians today. So I've asked myself those same questions.
Praise God you have such a head start over old guys like me who have missed so much opportunity! And what's most disappointing for me is, I was one of those pastors who taught monogamy-only for all the years I was in the pastoral teaching ministry. It was this discovery and acceptance of it that got me kicked out. But our God is a good God and this is His perfect goodness at work for us now. I'm thankful He brought me out of that erroneous teaching and has given me a new life - as difficult in this world as it is. Blessings and shalom.

 

[Robeld]

The TV show manifest has a perfect subplot for polygyny. A group of people are taken forward in time by 5 1/2 years. One woman found her best friend had married her fiancé during that 5 1/2 year time frame. Both in love with the same guy, both women are best friends. What a great scenario and they are using it to cause a rift between the two women. A polygamous relationship would cause better ratings if the producers would just think outside the box.

Yeah because that scenario/plot is sooo old and tired...lol

 

[Edward]

My birthright as a man is to design and build my family within the parameters of God’s design as I knowingly chose and to the fullest extent of my God given abilities.

This is GREAT!! VV76

 

[Edward]

Take it slow! Allow the father to grow you in monumental ways! Become the leader that you were intended to be and bring her gradually along this path. God will bless you in time if you behave as a shepherd and husband your little flock.

And may YaHWeH continue to do the same with me/us.