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Will a man change his mind about polygyny?

professionalrespect97@gma said:
You are not able to change a mans perspective. Only God can truly change a mans perspective. Are you ready fully to be a wife. I would say no by everything you have said.
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@steve is right, none of us know @southernphotini well enough to make that incredibly harsh judgement. And on top of that I have seen anything she’s said that would lead me to a similar conclusion.

Women willing to even engage with these ideas are rare. Driving them away from the community would be the height of foolishness.
 
The Revolting Man said:
Women willing to even engage with these ideas are rare. Driving them away from the community would be the height of foolishness.
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I’m an odd duck, an overthinker and always curious.

I have actually learned a lot from this forum and I am grateful for that.
 
steve said:
Maybe that’s the only reason that it exists, do you have a better word for a guy that acts like a little puppy trying to be accepted by a female?
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No, I don't. It's a great term. Concisely describes the situation with clever derision. I know no better word, and I use it myself. Considering God's mercy, longsuffering, forgiveness, and willingness to stand at the door and knock whether we open it or laugh at Him, I'd say even God Himself could have His attentions mocked and be called a simpleton by us ungrateful and undeserving people who repeatedly turn our back on Him, and usually only turn to Him for what He can give us after our more exciting boyfriend, Satan, has taken from us what he wants and humbled us.

There's a lot more that I had in mind and was trying to subtly allude to without derailing photini's thread. I can make a new thread if we want to talk in more depth about this.
 
NVIII said:
No, I don't. It's a great term. Concisely describes the situation with clever derision. I know no better word, and I use it myself. Considering God's mercy, longsuffering, forgiveness, and willingness to stand at the door and knock whether we open it or laugh at Him, I'd say even God Himself could have His attentions mocked and be called a simpleton by us ungrateful and undeserving people who repeatedly turn our back on Him, and usually only turn to Him for what He can give us after our more exciting boyfriend, Satan, has taken from us what he wants and humbled us.

There's a lot more that I had in mind and was trying to subtly allude to without derailing photini's thread. I can make a new thread if we want to talk in more depth about this.
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Sorry, I misjudged your tone.
 
southernphotini said:
I guess I’m curious that if a man expresses interest in this, but says he will abandon interest for the sake of an existing wife, is it reasonable for her to expect that he will not be interested going forward?
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Curiosity != commitment, interest is the knowledge gathering stage before commitment, his final decision for or against will be determined by his findings. However once the mind is made up, the only thing I can think of that can truly change someone is conviction. A literal change of heart being required. Otherwise it is just suppression, which is probably not ideal as it can become unhealthy.
 
My heart and mind were dramatically changed regarding polygyny a few months back. I had strongly wanted an additional wife (I have one) for many years.

Somehow the Lord enabled me to see that Jesus Christ Himself is enough for me.

I surrendered this desire (for an additional wife) to Jesus Christ. He is my Master. It's in His hands. I want only His will to be done.
 
I see that there is still growth before she is at that point. The searching and questions demonstrate curiosity and God is still making her a even more Godly lady. I simply say that do not let men stop your development with God. First developed your self and then God will bring your hushband when and only when the time is right
 
Bartato said:
My heart and mind were dramatically changed regarding polygyny a few months back. I had strongly wanted an additional wife (I have one) for many years.

Somehow the Lord enabled me to see that Jesus Christ Himself is enough for me.

I surrendered this desire (for an additional wife) to Jesus Christ. He is my Master. It's in His hands. I want only His will to be done.
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I think most men that learn this have to take a step back, and refocus on Christ. It can definitely be a distraction, and that's just me being fair and honest. For me, I leave it in God's will. Asking for His will to be done and not my own. Now that I know the truth on the matter I am open to it, if He wanted to give it. Or even if I desired a specific woman for myself, I'd just ask Him, and see what He'd do. He gives good gifts as our father.

“If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7‬:‭11‬

But I see exactly what you are saying bro, and commend you 100%. I think your opinion is also an essential one that people should hear.
 
professionalrespect97@gma said:
I am not driving her away. I am as a brother in Christ to not over think it but rather spend high guailitie time with God
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professionalrespect97@gma said:
I see that there is still growth before she is at that point. The searching and questions demonstrate curiosity and God is still making her a even more Godly lady. I simply say that do not let men stop your development with God. First developed your self and then God will bring your hushband when and only when the time is right
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professionalrespect97@gma said:
You need to be patient
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And you need to put a plug in it.
It’s a bit arrogant of you to parachute in and start handing out advice, whilst refusing to accept any yourself.

Just out of curiosity, what exactly are your credentials?
 
b_ce said:
I think most men that learn this have to take a step back, and refocus on Christ. It can definitely be a distraction, and that's just me being fair and honest. For me, I leave it in God's will. Asking for His will to be done and not my own. Now that I know the truth on the matter I am open to it, if He wanted to give it. Or even if I desired a specific woman for myself, I'd just ask Him, and see what He'd do. He gives good gifts as our father.

“If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7‬:‭11‬

But I see exactly what you are saying bro, and commend you 100%. I think your opinion is also an essential one that people should hear.
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You can ask God specifically for the things you want, as long as they are not sinful. In other words, you can ask God for a wife. God said that he gave David wives.

You can even question God, and argue with God, if you want to put it that way. He is big enough to handle it. It's OK to ask questions.
 
NBTX11 said:
You can ask God specifically for the things you want, as long as they are not sinful. In other words, you can ask God for a wife. God said that he gave David wives.
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I needed to read this. I’m praying for a husband and sister-wife, and it feels weird praying for another woman’s husband. But I want it the right way, so hopefully God will shed His love and mercy on us all.
 
southernphotini said:
I needed to read this. I’m praying for a husband and sister-wife, and it feels weird praying for another woman’s husband. But I want it the right way, so hopefully God will shed His love and mercy on us all.
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Pray, pray, pray. Pray about everything. Pray without ceasing. It's not sin to want a husband, so you can pray about it often.

Matthew 7 -
7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 9 Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? 11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!
 
b_ce said:
I think most men that learn this have to take a step back, and refocus on Christ. It can definitely be a distraction, and that's just me being fair and honest. For me, I leave it in God's will. Asking for His will to be done and not my own. Now that I know the truth on the matter I am open to it, if He wanted to give it. Or even if I desired a specific woman for myself, I'd just ask Him, and see what He'd do. He gives good gifts as our father.

“If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7‬:‭11‬

But I see exactly what you are saying bro, and commend you 100%. I think your opinion is also an essential one that people should hear.
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I agree that we can ask the Lord for anything that isn't sinful. Hopefully we can also honestly always add "Yet not my will, but thine be done", and mean it. 👍
 
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