• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

3 Questions From Real Life | Marriage Divorce Remarriage

FollowingHim said:
Again, this is very simple, but you're asking the wrong question. As @Mark C said, the question is not "which vow is invalid". Forget about the idea of vows being valid or invalid. A vow is a vow. Both are valid.
Click to expand...
What would be your response to the example I gave above of marrying a woman who divorced for irreconcilable differences? Would that still be a valid vow?
FollowingHim said:
If the man vowed to his first wife to forsake all others, she did not release him from this vow, and he decided anyway to go ahead and marry a second woman, then he has sinned by breaking his vow.
However, he now does have a second wife. He must not sin further by divorcing her - two wrongs does not make a right. He must choose to stop sinning, not keep adding more sin trying to fix things by digging himself into an even deeper hole.
So he now has two wives, like it or not.

Same goes for the man who has one wife, with monogamous vows, then has a secret affair. He is now required by scripture to marry the second woman. He can't get out of this by saying "but I vowed to be monogamous". Sure he vowed that - but he's already broken that vow. He should have thought of that before he took his pants off. It's too late now, the vow has been broken and that cannot be changed. Now he has two women anyway and he's going to have to man up to the consequences.
Click to expand...
I agree with you 100% on conflicting vows here. Another example would be Martin Luther who of course took a vow of celibacy as a monk but who later married Katharine von Bora who was a nun who also took a vow of celibacy. Yet they also married each other which conflicted with their vows. And yet they did the right thing by staying married to each other.
 
But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned. — Matthew 12:36-37 KJV

Let's keep it simple if you say it whether its righteous or not, vow or statement, its eligible to be judged.
 
faithinhim said:
What would be your response to the example I gave above of marrying a woman who divorced for irreconcilable differences? Would that still be a valid vow?
Click to expand...
I think we need to step back and take a wider view here.

What creates a marriage? Is marriage created by a vow, or something else?
 
faithinhim said:
I agree with this point. One doesn't need an opportunity to sin only the intent to sin which an evil vow would be.

I disagree with this point not following through with a vow on something that is evil from the start is not a sin.

A case in point if I married a woman who divorced her husband for irreconcilable differences I would be committing adultery. The marriage vow that I took was invalid from the start if the vow was valid I would not be guilty of adultery by marrying a divorced woman. This is an example of God not recognizing all vows as legitimate.
Click to expand...
And why exactly is marriage a vow?
 
faithinhim said:
I disagree with this point not following through with a vow on something that is evil from the start is not a sin.
Click to expand...
I agree with you.

Extreme case. I made a vow to commit murder. I come to my senses and don't commit the murder.

Did I really commit a sin by not keeping this vow? Yes or no. Notice I didn't say did I sin by making this vow, I said did I sin by not KEEPING the vow of murder.
 
The end doesn’t justify the means, but if your vow can be broken because it was deemed illegitimate, then what is the difference? The end evidently justifies the means for you.
Also, if your word has no value then it doesn’t matter what vows you make. You can just adjust as necessary.

Breaking your word is a sin, it just may be less of a sin than keeping your vow, depending on the vow.
 
FollowingHim said:
No, I really don't want a long debate, but I think both you and I agree this is the heart of @faithinhim's error, and the only way to progress this discussion is to address this.
Click to expand...

0: When does marriage begin? - Structured discussion

This issue has been thrashed out many times, and never gets anywhere. Instead, everyone keeps reiterating the same points over and over in different ways and becoming more entrenched in their individual views, often without fully understanding the position of those with differing views. I don't...
www.biblicalfamilies.org www.biblicalfamilies.org
 
BTW, there's another obvious way to nullify some vows-that-should-never-have been-made, too:

Marry a Bible-believing husband who understands Deuteronomy chapter 30.

On the day he hears one of such, he may (and in this case should) "cast it down."

Obvious example: a woman who makes a vow never to 'obey any man'. That one should be cast down before either of them get outta bed after consummation... ;)
 
Joleneakamama said:
Years ago a friend of mine had her husband file for divorce. In my opinion she was free to remarry from the day he filed. No he didn't put it in her hand... but his intent became a matter of public record. Should she have to wait for years to move on? While he keeps right on doing what he wants with anyone willing? It's going on 7 years now and thanks to his total lack of cooperation the divorce still isn't final!

I see that law of YHWH's as protecting a husband who's wife might be having a hard time from men moving in on her if she is not under his roof. This too is asuming the man wants her and will take her back.
If, on the other hand, the man is neglecting his responsibilities (and many now days do) and she is without food clothing and marital relations what right does he have to call himself her husband??

Most men neglecting a woman have moved on to others. It seems to do severe damage to the spirit of the law to hold her to a contract the man sometimes never intended.....or never made good on. That's just a bit like stoning the woman taken in adultery. What about the man?
Click to expand...
What if you were never married and then go your own way after living w someone?
 
Cambria said:
What if you were never married and then go your own way after living w someone?
Click to expand...
It looks to me like it's one of two things. Either the relationship was not marriage and then what was it? Just casual = whoring? Or it was serious and commited and then only the husband has authority to divorce unless Elders determine he has abdicated his responsibilities.
So in short (and black and white) either the relationship was sin, or the leaving was.
 
Cambria said:
What if you were never married and then go your own way after living w someone?
Click to expand...
Cambria, in light of the wording of your question you might want to consider your definition for being "married". How you understand marriage will have a big influence on how to address your question. Those of us who have more than one wife consider each relationship as a "marriage" even though we may not have a piece of paper from a government department that says so. God created man and woman and He outlines the marriage relationship for us in the Bible. Cheers
 
Piece of paper does not equal marriage. You can "live together" and be married.
 
Last edited:
Joleneakamama said:
Is her "husband" providing food clothing and marital relations?

A man that does not provide for his own has denied the faith and is worse then an infidel.

He is not claiming to be her husband. He doesn't want her back.

Who holds men to providing for women they don't want?? Why would a woman be bound to a man who doesn't want her....told her only option is to go back......but Runaway slaves are not to be returned?
Click to expand...
Love and agree with this.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top