And, in that spirit, I read this today from the Unedited Biblical Lifestyle blog:
Being Feminine in a Masculine World
Being feminine is not really about a dress code; it’s a state of mind. Many women wear girly dresses, keep their nails and hair done, and wear the most feminine shoes and purses but still aren’t feminine at heart. While looking girly on the outside, the heart may still have the "independent, I don’t need a man, I’m a strong capable alpha woman" mindset. The attitude of femininity is modest and shy, soft spoken, downcast eyes, bashfulness, quietness, meekness, and nurturing. Downcast eyes means that, when your master speaks to you, you aren’t staring him down with stern looks that meet his eyes as if in competition with him. You humble yourself before him, with a feminine type of shyness that shows he is your ruler. Downcast eyes also means that when dealing with men outside of your husband, you are not in their face, talking loud, and speaking and looking at men with aggression the same way men do with each other. A woman is feminine by her conduct and the way she carries herself as well. Looking girly outside, yet walking with haughty confidence looks aggressive. A haughty confidence is when your head is high, you make eye contact with other men, you strut and sway your hips and butt, and walk with an ego about yourself as if to say you are in charge. This type of haughtiness comes off as aggressive and masculine and is the opposite of femininity no matter how frilly the dress is.
In my own studies on femininity, I’ve noticed that women from third world countries which have not yet been heavily influenced by Western culture tend to have a natural femininity to themselves that most Western women lack. No matter how they dressed, it was their attitudes, demeanor and way of carrying themselves that exuded real femininity at its core. I used to think femininity was all about wearing girly clothing, but, after watching women and how they conduct themselves, it was clear that girly clothing has nothing to do with it. If you are feminine at heart, then adding girly clothing can be icing on the cake; it puts the entire package together. But you can’t have the icing and forget the cake. The first thing that has to change is the heart.
The Bible gives women a clear blueprint for how to be feminine. Our heavenly Father tells us repeatedly to be meek, quiet, sober, shamefaced, obedient, keepers at home, under subjection, and reverencing towards our husbands. Once we learn to adapt to this mindset, we naturally become more feminine. Of course it’s easier said than done because for many of us, we’ve grown up in a society that encourages women to be the exact opposite of that. As a child, I was encouraged by my mother to speak my mind, stand up for myself, be independent and see the world, and told to get an education so I would never need to depend on a man. The recurring theme in the household was: I am a strong, independent woman who can do it all. It was my master who first taught me that mindset was wrong. It was the Bible that confirmed to me that he was right.
After we’ve learned how to change our hearts to become more feminine, then we can look to our masters to help us learn how to present ourselves more feminine by dressing how they like. Some men only want their women in dresses, while others have a different opinion on the matter. I’m not here to speak on what you should do, because that is for your master to decide. But it’s a great idea to find out from him alone. In the same way that I’ve seen women in dresses acting very masculine, I’ve also seen women in pants, or even tribal women who were almost naked, who were more modest than myself -- even if I had on clothing that most would call “modest apparel.” Their submissive attitude reigned supreme along with their downcast eyes, smiles, bashfulness, kindness, and shyness around their men - along with their conduct towards men who weren’t their own husband. I learned what true submission looks like from watching women such as these. We don’t have many examples of women to look up to in our society to teach us true femininity. What can help is to start watching the women in your own life; notice what makes them seem feminine or masculine. If you’re able to, notice women from other cultures and watch their demeanors and how they carry themselves. I learned the most about femininity and masculinity simply by observing and watching other women. I learned what not to do, and what to change. You will clearly see the masculine energy that runs rampant in the Western culture. I never saw true images of biblical femininity until I stepped outside of the Western culture. Most of the world is now influenced by the West so examples aren’t easy to find. But if you look hard enough you’ll recognize true biblical femininity when you see it. The Most High wants us to not conform to this world but to be the opposite. Being a soft-spoken, quiet, shamefaced, humble, submissive, obedient woman who wants to be under her husband's subjection makes you almost a rare woman in today’s society. Please don’t conform to the masculine femininity of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind in the Word. Follow the Fathers lead by being a feminine woman, and have no shame in wanting to be under the rulership, care and protection of your husband, who is your lord.
Biblical submission is a beautiful lifestyle that is worthy of praise. Thank you for reading or listening to this podcast. I hope it reaches someone's heart.
Being Feminine in a Masculine World
Being feminine is not really about a dress code; it’s a state of mind. Many women wear girly dresses, keep their nails and hair done, and wear the most feminine shoes and purses but still aren’t feminine at heart. While looking girly on the outside, the heart may still have the "independent, I don’t need a man, I’m a strong capable alpha woman" mindset. The attitude of femininity is modest and shy, soft spoken, downcast eyes, bashfulness, quietness, meekness, and nurturing. Downcast eyes means that, when your master speaks to you, you aren’t staring him down with stern looks that meet his eyes as if in competition with him. You humble yourself before him, with a feminine type of shyness that shows he is your ruler. Downcast eyes also means that when dealing with men outside of your husband, you are not in their face, talking loud, and speaking and looking at men with aggression the same way men do with each other. A woman is feminine by her conduct and the way she carries herself as well. Looking girly outside, yet walking with haughty confidence looks aggressive. A haughty confidence is when your head is high, you make eye contact with other men, you strut and sway your hips and butt, and walk with an ego about yourself as if to say you are in charge. This type of haughtiness comes off as aggressive and masculine and is the opposite of femininity no matter how frilly the dress is.
In my own studies on femininity, I’ve noticed that women from third world countries which have not yet been heavily influenced by Western culture tend to have a natural femininity to themselves that most Western women lack. No matter how they dressed, it was their attitudes, demeanor and way of carrying themselves that exuded real femininity at its core. I used to think femininity was all about wearing girly clothing, but, after watching women and how they conduct themselves, it was clear that girly clothing has nothing to do with it. If you are feminine at heart, then adding girly clothing can be icing on the cake; it puts the entire package together. But you can’t have the icing and forget the cake. The first thing that has to change is the heart.
The Bible gives women a clear blueprint for how to be feminine. Our heavenly Father tells us repeatedly to be meek, quiet, sober, shamefaced, obedient, keepers at home, under subjection, and reverencing towards our husbands. Once we learn to adapt to this mindset, we naturally become more feminine. Of course it’s easier said than done because for many of us, we’ve grown up in a society that encourages women to be the exact opposite of that. As a child, I was encouraged by my mother to speak my mind, stand up for myself, be independent and see the world, and told to get an education so I would never need to depend on a man. The recurring theme in the household was: I am a strong, independent woman who can do it all. It was my master who first taught me that mindset was wrong. It was the Bible that confirmed to me that he was right.
After we’ve learned how to change our hearts to become more feminine, then we can look to our masters to help us learn how to present ourselves more feminine by dressing how they like. Some men only want their women in dresses, while others have a different opinion on the matter. I’m not here to speak on what you should do, because that is for your master to decide. But it’s a great idea to find out from him alone. In the same way that I’ve seen women in dresses acting very masculine, I’ve also seen women in pants, or even tribal women who were almost naked, who were more modest than myself -- even if I had on clothing that most would call “modest apparel.” Their submissive attitude reigned supreme along with their downcast eyes, smiles, bashfulness, kindness, and shyness around their men - along with their conduct towards men who weren’t their own husband. I learned what true submission looks like from watching women such as these. We don’t have many examples of women to look up to in our society to teach us true femininity. What can help is to start watching the women in your own life; notice what makes them seem feminine or masculine. If you’re able to, notice women from other cultures and watch their demeanors and how they carry themselves. I learned the most about femininity and masculinity simply by observing and watching other women. I learned what not to do, and what to change. You will clearly see the masculine energy that runs rampant in the Western culture. I never saw true images of biblical femininity until I stepped outside of the Western culture. Most of the world is now influenced by the West so examples aren’t easy to find. But if you look hard enough you’ll recognize true biblical femininity when you see it. The Most High wants us to not conform to this world but to be the opposite. Being a soft-spoken, quiet, shamefaced, humble, submissive, obedient woman who wants to be under her husband's subjection makes you almost a rare woman in today’s society. Please don’t conform to the masculine femininity of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind in the Word. Follow the Fathers lead by being a feminine woman, and have no shame in wanting to be under the rulership, care and protection of your husband, who is your lord.
Biblical submission is a beautiful lifestyle that is worthy of praise. Thank you for reading or listening to this podcast. I hope it reaches someone's heart.
